Gone but Never Forgotten
by eddiehead
Summary: Something happened 5 years ago, it destroyed the boy's friendship group - or at least Kenny thinks it did. Is there a chance that wounds can heal, friendships mended, loves rekindled. M for later chapters - Mainly K2 and minor Stendy throughout
1. Acknowledging the Past

**As Everyone Knows - South Park is owned by legend ninja assassin's Matt Stone and Trey Parker. I don't wish I onwed the characters, I wish they were real and we could all move to South Park and all have a kick ass time!**

**My updates aren't going to come because you read and review my work, they are going to come because I will be writing more and then updating. This is my first fan fiction so feel free to criticise and tear me apart for it - I'll take it on board and update as often as possible. I'm not going to not update because you don't review and this story will get finished and will hopefully be fairly long. Ideas are kicking the shit out of my head at the moment and I need to put them somewhere!**

* * *

Snow had started to fall again. Calm, cool, crisp flakes dancing in the wind without a care in the world. They collect on the window pane and stare in at the face that stares back out at them. He doesn't really pay much attention though. Through his tears he can only just make out the small figures walking out towards stark's pond – only just gets a glimpse of the blue and green hats as they disappear into the distance and become yet another faded memory.

Kenny pulled back from the window and wiped his face clean. This was pathetic… why was he still crying over a life he lost over 5 years ago? Why did it matter so much?

Walking into the poor excuse for a living room he noticed the tv static flickering in and out of a news report, his parents too drunk to care what was going on. God he hated them drunk. They were never too violent towards him and they'd never dream of touching Karen. Kevin gave as good as he got though and because of this he was now out of South Park probably dealing drugs and scoring whores daily. Kenny turned the tv off and wandered over to the fridge. What he was expecting to find was anyone's guess but he managed to grab a piece of bread that wasn't mouldy and slapped some sloppy butter like stuff on it. What an evening meal

Before going back to his room he slid Karen's bedroom door open and tip-toed across to her. Her bed sheets were half off the bed and her window slightly open. God its freezing at the best of times here but the way they have to live and the nights drawing in quicker definitely didn't help things. Kenny quickly pulled the window shut and braced it as best he could so as to stop it opening again. Looking down on his sleeping sister a content smile spread over his face. He corrected the bed sheets to cover her exposed legs and bent down to kiss her softly on the forehead, pausing as she snuggled into the palm of his hand and briefly smiled at the subconscious warmth.

"Sleep tight Karen, always sleep tight"

Back in his room Kenny round his excuse for a backpack and drew open the strings. After outgrowing his Parker Karen asked to use it for one of her art classes. She was tasked with making something that reminded her of a happy memory, and something that could be used every day to keep the reminder going. Using Kenny's old Parker she'd fashioned a very unique and well-made back pack. When she brought it home and her mom and dad couldn't give two shits about anything other than alcohol she sheepishly brought it to Kenny, telling him that she made him something to help with his ever-growing pile of schoolbooks. It was the first present Kenny had received in a long time and it meant so much to him that Karen would be the one to give it to him. Needless to say she got an A for that bag.

The first paper Kenny pulled out was Math. God how he hated math. It was just too easy! There was no challenge anymore. Kenny put it aside and reached for the next paper – history. Really? Well that won't get done with books that he doesn't have so goodbye to that one. Next – English. Well creative literature to be more precise. This was more like it. Besides being incredibly smart (unbeknownst to everyone else in the world it seemed) Kenny was also extremely creative. Maybe all those visits to the afterlife gave him the gift. I mean after fighting Satan's army with a PSP, or convincing Damien that he could come back to earth and not raise eternal damnation Kenny has had plenty of inspiration. He buried his head in the new assignment and wrote his first paragraph. Or at least he tried to. He read over the assignment again: "Write a story about a character that suffers a personal loss but uses it to achieve a great height of success"

With a sigh Kenny read back through his opening paragraph one more time, screwed it up and threw it as far away from him as possible. That'll have to wait for another day, as Kenny rested his head on the pillow. A single tear escaped his eye as he started to drift off and find himself in the middle of another nightmare. At least he could wake up from that one.

Karen walked past Kenny's open door from the kitchen with a glass of dirty water. She reached out to close it for him when she noticed a scrunched up piece of paper on the floor. Picking it up, she closed the door and headed back to her room. Just as she was about to dispose of the ball forever she had one quick glance at the corner that had unravelled and read the last sentence on the page before she too felt a teary feeling creeping up on her. Not wanting to pry she threw the paper away and buried it under other rubbish before climbing back into bed.

"_That day was one of the worst days ever. That day I just felt like dying again and again. That… was the day Stan and Kyle walked out of my life forever…"_


	2. Start the Party

"… and then – and then guess what I saw. Guess? Ok, ok, ok… I saw Stan and Kahl having another midnight rendezvous at Stark's Pond! I'm seriously you guys, you might as well just fuck and get it over with, we all know you're both butt-pirates for each other!"

"Cartman shut your goddamn filthy fat mouth!"

"Eh! Don't you run your mouth you little faggy Jew-boy! I'll kick your ass right here and now. And then Stan can kiss it better for you can't he?!"

Ok so when has the school bus ride been full of laughter and joy and recalling fond weekend memories? Well this Monday, Cartman seemed to think that it was super awesome and cool to tell everyone about Stan and Kyle, and how them walking around apparently makes them both gay. Cartman naturally was laughing his ass off as Kyle once again threw all his built up aggression on to him. Stan just sat back and watched, secretly enjoying both boys' constant insults to each other and pretty much the rest of the bus just didn't give a shit anymore. There were already a few boys that had come out as openly gay and it just really wasn't an issue. Except for Kyle. The possibility of him being gay gave Cartman a reason to get right up on a platform and voice his opinions. The fact that Kyle had openly dated both Red and Bebe, both for about a year or so, kind of denounced the pure "gay" part of the argument. The fact that half the class had also met at Stark's Pond last night also gave Cartman no leg to stand on. As he wasn't invited though, he had no idea.

The insults carried on right the way up to first period where Cartman and Kyle were in different classes. To be fair to both of them there isn't really a point in the insults now anyway. Cartman isn't really fat anymore – since he shot up to a good 6' 2" his fat had kind of just stretched out with him and he was now fairly lean, funnily enough, pretty much exactly the same height and build as Kyle. And Kyle most certainly is now only Jewish by association. Most kids in Park District High School had renounced faith around 12 or 13. Yet insults are insults and it seems life's too short to think of new ones.

Pretty much every school day seems to be about the same. Nothing exciting happens, nothing changes, kids just go about their lives as if most things that happened in 4th Grade didn't happen. They sit there in class listening to teachers mainly wailing on about university and jobs and prospects, most of which went unheard by many. Who at 17 really wants to care about university when there are parties to attend, alcohol to be drunk and girls to fuck?

Stan for one didn't. He was busy writing a note to throw over to Kyle. With the teacher writing on the board Stan expertly threw a looping shot to land right in Kyle's lap. Kyle looked over and caught Stan's triumphant glance and fake bicep display at his prowess

"Flash git!" Kyle mouthed before unscrewing the ball and reading the note before him.

**_"Par-tay this weekend dude. Bebe's house. Bring alcohol and rubbers and let's get it going!"_**

Kyle quickly scribbled a reply and half-heartedly launched it back straight into Stan's face, earning a snigger from the class as Stan fake cried from the impact

**_"I dunno dude, you know me and alcohol. Plus Bebe… dude me and her are done. Friends only. P.S we have cell phones why are we passing girly notes to each other?!"_**

XXX

Friday night couldn't have come any quicker. Stan is already shaved, hair done, booze in hand and condoms in pockets by the time he receives a text. Dumping the goods by the front door he darts through to the kitchen to find a quick snack to half line his stomach with.

**_Kyle B. – Hey dude, just got back from shopping with mom… don't ask. Be at yours in an hour?_**

Stan lets out a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose in amused frustration

**_Stan M. – Dude… party starts in an hour. I have to miss drink time cos of your moms bad timekeeping!_**

**_Kyle B. – I'll meet you there then. And don't pinch the bridge of your nose at me mr!_**

"Fuck me," Stan lets out, "How does he just know that!"

With the info from Kyle in mind Stan heads out, finally grabbing his keys before he forgets and has to try and wake his parents at 4 in the morning whilst trying to hold down whatever liquid may be trying to escape. He turns to quickly lock the door when an unfamiliar feeling creeps over him. Well it's actually an all too familiar feeling, but he hasn't had this in a while. He can feel eyes on him. Someone's watching

XXX

Kyle manages to fight open the bathroom door and has just enough time to undo his zipper before unloading piss all down his legs. He does however manage to miss the toilet. Completely. He's not even standing in front of the toilet. He's admiring himself in the mirror whilst pissing into what looks like a laundry basket. He looks at his watch. 03:15 – dammit! Where did that time go!

He half falls back down the stairs and starts searching for body parts that match Stan's. He's interrupted however by a drunk and high Craig smiling and giggling to himself over a bag of French fries he found in the kitchen. Apparently clenching the fries between your butt cheeks feels fucking good because Craig murmurs slightly as they fall out of the bottom of his trouser leg before half collapsing on a chair with another handful at the ready.

After what seems like 4 hours searching for Stan, Kyle looks at his watch again. 03:18. Fuck me really! Kyle decides that Stan is a lost cause and decides instead to get some fresh air. Using one hand to steady himself along the hallway he reaches the front door and uncaringly rips it open. He takes a sharp breath in the cold Colorado air and exhales slowly through his mouth. He sits himself down on the step outside and takes a few more strong breaths in and out, until the mist around his head starts to clear. That's the only thing Kyle likes about alcohol. Since it takes very little to get him drunk it also takes very little to get him sober again

03:35. Kyle hears shuffling and thuds from behind him and turns in time to see Stan propped up against the banister. He sighs, chuckles and stands to help his best friend home. Stan has other ideas though.

Stan grabs Kyle by the neck and forces his lips onto the startled red heads face. Only for a second though. It wasn't a long embrace, more of a forceful drunk peck on the lips. Regardless it still catches Kyle off guard and he laughs it off

"Kyle-ee you know what?! You like my super bestest friend ever, for reals!" Stan slurs his words but through his one open eye he waits to make sure Kyle is at least attempting to acknowledge him.

"And I like… I fucking love you man. No gay shit, this is man shit. I mean like, you know, just, fuck man…"

Kyle admits defeat before even starting and sits Stan back on the steps to try and get a bit of sense fed into him. But Stan doesn't feel the effects of fresh air, instead he gets an idea.

"Hey Kyle, Kyle. I've just had an idea. We need – you know what we need? We need like a third member to our super awesome… thing you know. Like it'd be like, like we were back in the days you know and stuff? But not Cartman again jeez that fat fucking fat! D'you think though we could maybe get like Craig in with us, or Token? Or… shit who else is in our class man? Who's you know like out there, gets into crazy shit and would be a good laugh?"

Kyle had a few ideas, but one stuck out in his mind. He'd never suggest it though, not even when Stan was drunk. He bet that'd sober the daft prat up though. No, he kept tight lipped and just simply shrugged and nodded with Stan's ideas. As Stan drifted in and out of consciousness on Kyle's shoulder, Kyle couldn't help but notice an empty can on the pathway ahead of him. He squinted and turned his head sideways slightly to read the label on the white can. He could only make out "Blue Rib" but something about that flared his curiosity. Lifting his eyes back up he saw a dark figure walking on the other side of the road. Who would be out at this time? He continued to watch as the figure passed under a solitary street light and Kyle could have sworn. No. He thought he recognised that blonde hair. That scruffy, unkept blonde hair. He buried himself quickly into his thoughts, brought out memories from 5 years previous. Was it that hair? He lifted his head once more to see the figure cross the train tracks and disappear amongst the shacks and sheds


	3. PCs and Pigtails

**Kenny's POV**

* * *

God Mr Heynham really does drag on and on and on… why did I choose computer sciences in the first place? I'd never be able to afford Denver Community College let alone a top university to study computers in. I guess it's just like everything else. I enjoy the technicality of computers so I absorb way too much information. I can guarantee that I'm the only one here to actually learn besides just firing up the internet and looking at funny cat videos. Jesus Christ really?

Well I say the only one – I guess there's one other person here willing to at least try to learn what's going on. It just happens to be Kyle fucking Broflovski. Godammit. I suppose it's not so bad, I sit in the back corner of the class, lay my head on the desk and forget about the world around me. That way if anyone were to actually know I'm here I'd be able to see them looking at me and pointedly ignore them. Especially Kyle. Although to be fair most people would look round and probably ask what my name was and when I joined the school. Seriously is it really that easy to forget someone. If it was I don't think I'd be suffocating myself every night with the feeling that I screwed up the best and only thing I had going for me.

"…Now in terms of computer architecture and engineering I'd like to talk about infrastructure that you may find in small-medium businesses situated in and near Denver, more importantly the backbone of virtually any computer network infrastructure and this would be…?"

The class falls silent. Everyone looks at the teacher in anticipation of the answer being given to them. When it's clear that that's not going to happen I move my elbow to one side and without raising my head utter one word. "Servers"

"Very good… class very good I'd like to talk about servers" He doesn't even have a clue where that voice came from, let alone that it was me that answered. No-one would believe little old Kenny would actually know something!

"Now, who can tell me what a typical hard drive set up is in server hardware? How about you Broflovski?"

My ears prick up but my head remains unmoved as I wait in anticipation. No matter what I think or feel I still love the sound of Kyle's voice. Even when he's screaming at Cartman. Even though it pulls my heart left and right with every new syllable. He just has such a calm and melodic voice. It reminds me of the times he's picked me up when I'm feeling like shit, or when I used to get kicked out the house and wander the streets. So kind and welcoming and… fuck sake those days are over Kenny, snap out of it!

"Um… I guess you'd have 4 or 5 hard drives set up linked together and they're be a RAID I think and the operating system would be installed over all the disks to prevent data loss?"

Kyle had a basic grasp, but I couldn't tell if he was just being modest as to not upstage everyone or he genuinely didn't know. I knew he could go into so much more detail, but then again I heard a slight nervousness in his voice. I guess you're not as high and mighty as you think…

"Good, that's a good start, now can you elaborate for me on RAID technology and maybe give some examples?"

"um… I… uh" wow – Kyle was falling fast. I think this calls for a little self-satisfaction…

"A RAID is a Redundant Array of Independent Disks, and it used to spread system state and file system data across a larger amount of disks to provide fault tolerance in the event of an emergency or disaster such as a hard drive failure. There are both hardware and software RAIDs, and debate still goes on about which is best. Hardware RAIDs are prone to hardware failure and need to be programmed through BIOS settings or pre-programmed prior to installation, whereas software RAIDs provide more reliance in terms of update and reinstallation but also don't fully operate until the OS is loaded. There are also different layers of RAID – RAID0, RAID1, RAID5, RAID6 etc and again this causes interesting debate. RAID0 is a simple striped drive where data is written across all disks, however there is no tolerance for fault. If one drive goes the array fails. RAID5 compensates for this by providing the same striping but with parity that provides each drive with data from all other drives, thus if one drive is destroyed it can be rebuilt automatically using the data from the other drives. Each RAID solution has differing costs, benefits, drawbacks and implications so they need to be tailored to the individual situation, however RAID5 is generally the most popular array layout choice."

Wow. I take a breath and keep my gaze focused on the teacher. I know from peripheral vision that the whole class is staring at me. And I don't mean just looking. They are jaws to the floor, eyes wide staring. Mr Heynham quickly readjusts to the answer I've just randomly given.

"That is the best answer I've had in my three years teaching at this school. Thank you very much Mr…"

"McCormick. Kenny sir"

"Well Kenny, I can see you'll be going far in this class for sure"

He turns around and continues on with the lecture from where I left off. Just as I go to rest my head back on the desk I notice… He's still staring at me. Not quite as wide eyed before but he's still staring. I half-heartedly smile and raise both eyebrows to try and signal surprise, before lowering my head back down to its original position. I can't help but smile into my arm. Kyle looked at me…

I walked home that evening with way too many thoughts going through my head. For some reason I was trying to decipher what that look from Kyle may have meant. And I don't know why. He was in shock no doubt. Kenny McCormick had apparently outsmarted him in what was probably one of the hardest subjects. Kenny McCormick shouldn't have been able to outsmart him in anything apart from domestic abuse 101 and living with frozen waffles 101 right? God I need a drink. I need a Pabst, or better yet, I need a fix. No – no I can't have either, even if just for the reason that my parents would either "flip the lid on this shit" (the "shit" being me) regarding the Pabst, or they'd lose a month's food because of the meth. Dammit nothing is simple.

And yet everything is so incredibly simple. And it hits me in the face as soon as I walk through the front door and hear her voice. Karen. Everything is simple because I have one purpose left on Earth. Keep Karen safe. Protect her. Watch over her and help her grow and learn and become something. She's the only one left in this town that sees me for me. Not just a piece of meat to slap, not just "the po' kid in skewl" and not as some dumbass redneck trailer trash. She's the reason I try to keep from dying, she's the reason I'm still in school and she's the reason I'm using all my free time making as much money as I can.

She's sitting in front of a broken mirror playing with her hair. I think she's trying to plait it or something, but both sides are mismatched and she's redoing a lot of it. Dad's passed out on the sofa, half-naked and drooling onto himself. Goddamn deadbeat. I understand it's not his fault he got laid off from work but seriously most people wouldn't then sit on the couch and waste away. Clearly my dad isn't most people.

"Kenny, can you help me with my hair. It won't go right!" Karen asks softly as I walk behind her. I take one look at dad and the tv which looks like cowboys and Indians and offer her into my room. She picks up the mirror and with a giggle runs in and dives onto my deluxe, spacious floor level bed. By floor level bed I mean "mattress on the floor" and by deluxe I mean "The rats only have one hole in it so far". I go over to the little drawer in my room and pull it open. There's an iPod and a small portable speaker in there that I pull out, turn on and set to shuffle before taking a seat behind Karen and pulling her closer to me for easier access to her hair.

I ask her exactly what I need to do and she gives good instructions. We sit there for what seems like hours, chatting about school, how her classes are going, how all her friends are and all manner of idle chit-chat while the iPod soothes the mood in the background. I can't even remember the name of this song. It's some old opera song that I thankfully didn't have to sing to in Romania before flying home. Thankfully though the conversation doesn't fall onto my school experience, and the one time she tries to bring it up I counter with a "everything's going to be fine in the end". Karen may only be 13 but she's smart and understands now's not the time for this. I finish up her hair and she has a quick look in the mirror.

"So where are you off to that required that 4 days of hairstyling?" I ask. I figure I deserve an explanation. I mean, unbeknownst to her I'd lost a good half hour of masturbation time for this.

"Oh just me and a couple of friends from school were going to have a look around the Mall in Denver. Apparently there's a guy there that Rachael wants to flirt with or something. I don't know. I just wanna tag along because I like looking at all the stuff in there. It's weird to think one day I could buy myself something from in there…"

God she's so sweet and innocent. So adorable. It's not even remotely fair that she has to live like this. I quickly pick myself up and pull open a drawer beside my bed. I take out a thick textbook that I "borrowed" from the school library 3 years ago and open it. Inside there's a nice compartment cut out of the pages, you know, like how they used to do it in the movies to hide their guns and shit? Well, mine's hiding money. A lot too. That's why it's like this, I know my dad will throw it on alcohol and fuck me my mom would probably think she could afford another baby on this. Pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind I pull out about 6 20 dollar bills and close the book, placing it back in the drawer. I walk up to Karen and take her hand in mine. Turning it over I place the bills in her hand and close it.

"Go grab yourself something nice then Karen. Something you've always wanted."

Without thinking she wraps her arms round my neck, pulling me down so she can kiss my cheek then embrace me in a tight hug. I lift her up and turn around, sitting back down on the mattress and moving her legs to drape over my lap so she's sitting side on. I kiss the side of her head and whisper, "Go on. Don't be late and have fun"

She pulls back and wipes a single tear from her cheek. Her smile broadens and she mouths a quick "thank you" before heading out the door.

I lean back on my bed and let my thoughts wander as I drift off into an early sleep.

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**Next chapter will start having a bit more interaction between characters. We may find out what happened 5 years ago fairly soon, we may have some drama beforehand, there may be a touch of romance but it may not be major. Maybe a bit of Stendy, maybe I pick someone else for stan. maybe i go off on a tangent and bring other characters in. I honestly don't know yet as I am literally making this up as I go along. These first 3 chapters were written one after the other in one day, based off the first paragraph of the first chapter that just came to my head. if you have any thoughts, ideas, development of plot etc feel free to let me know**

**please note though, I'm probably going to try and stay away from a few typical fanfic themes - namely kenny being horribly physically abused by parents, students etc. There may be allusions to these themes but i probably won't go heavy because quite frankly - even though he's not real, I can't stand reading about kenny's character in so much pain, and I don't think I'd be able to write it either **


	4. Painful Past, Painful Present

**Written in Kyles POV**

* * *

I'm so glad mom and dad went out to that restaurant tonight. I can't even begin to explain why my head is all over about 6 assignments at the moment. I can never seem to concentrate on just one at a time. That must be my curse, to forever be consumed by fucking schoolwork.

I slide my chair away from my desk and drag myself downstairs into the kitchen. Ike is sitting wide-eyed looking at the tv, half a slice of pizza sticking out of his mouth as he stares intently at some Canadian documentary. At least I think it's a documentary, it looks like the royal family are there. I swing open the fridge and scan the contents. Feeling very uninspired I grab a couple of leftover blintz and the carton of orange juice and make my way back through the living room. I look back over to the tv as I start to climb and decide that Ike isn't watching a documentary after all, it must be some sort of weird Canadian horror film or something, because the man (who I assume is a prince) has just ripped the woman's (princess?) arm off and has started pulling down his pants. Well I think that's my cue to leave!

"Ike, that's sick dude! Don't let mom catch you watching it she'll go and make war with Canada again" I said, not expecting a response as I continued toward my room.

Ike tried to reply through his pizza but all I heard was Canadian and wedding. I rolled my eyes and slopped back onto my bed, opening my bag as the first blintz disappeared. Damn these things are the fucking nuts! I pull out some random papers and start cycling through them to see if there's anything I can do without moving for a text-book and I'm in luck. Calculus and American History papers are there along with a multiple choice quiz on… Networking principles? Fucking Computer Sciences again. It's not like it's amazingly hard work but it's just a lot of fancy jargon that I don't think is necessary.

It also reminds me of class today. Give some examples of a fucking RAID. And I sat there like a mindless zombie while he gave a textbook answer. How the hell does that work? He never pays attention and he skips school all the time. He doesn't do homework, have textbooks, or write any notes in class and yet ask him what RAID configurations there are and it's like he's a 3rd Year CS Grad student.

I stand and leave the papers on the desk as I walk over to my closet and pull open the door. Searching the bottom compartments I find a tattered shoebox and bring it back to my bed, sitting cross-legged and removing the lid. Inside are endless pictures, trinkets and memories. The first picture I pull off the top is my favourite picture ever. It's me, Stan and Kenny hand in hand skating on Stark's Pond. We must have only been about 11 but Kenny had never skated before and borrowed an old pair of my skates to come with us. He loved that day. Fuck we all did. Not a care in the world as we skated for hours, had snowball fights, built an igloo (that Kenny tried to live in before Stan fell over into it). I wish I could go back to that day. I'd give anything to have that again. I quickly scan through the pictures and find one that brought a small tear to my eye. It's a picture of me and Kenny that Stan took up on the mountain viewpoint. Our parents had agreed to let us go camping and Stan had managed to sneak Wendy up with us. I guess he was looking for at least a handjob even back then haha. But Kenny and I were sitting next to each other with our legs dangling over the peak, he had his head resting in my shoulder and I think Stan thought it either looked sweet or pretty damn gay because he came up behind us and snapped the camera. I must say though, I'm damn glad he did because it's one of the most precious photos I've got. I've got a similar photo that someone took when I comforted Stan after chef left (who the fuck takes that kind of photo anyway?!) but for some reason Kenny's photo was more special. Maybe because Stan was my super best friend and it was almost like unwritten rules that I must comfort him. Maybe because – even back then – Kenny was starting to become a bit more special to me than anyone else.

I close the box after about half an hour of reminiscing and replace it in the closet. Looking out the window it's dark and snowing, but I could do with some fresh air. Just some alone time to properly isolate myself with my thoughts and try to clear some things out. I grab my coat and pull my Ushanka down tight to my ears as I head downstairs. Ike is now kind of half on half off the sofa with pasta sauce all down his front. How the hell he could have fallen asleep like that I will never know. I turn the tv off on my way through to the kitchen and head out the back door to get around to the woods faster.

I walk along aimlessly, not really caring which direction I'm headed or even what's really in front of me as I narrowly avoid walking straight into a tree. Burying my hands in my pockets I readjust course and drift off into a daydream…

_"Hey Kenny"_

_"Sup dude"_

_"Man you look like shit, you ok?"_

_"Yeah dude I'm fine. Had a bit of a rough night but you know me"_

_"Ken you sure you're ok, you're walking pretty funny?"_

_"Yeah dude, like I said, rough night. It'll pass. Don't worry about it"_

_Later at lunch_

_"Hey Stan, where's Kenny"_

_"I dunno dude, haven't seen him since second period"_

_"Hey you're in my goddamn seat jew-boy!"_

_"Correction fatass, I'm in one of your seats. You think that ass can be supported by just one seat?"_

_"You think the world can support the deceit and lies of the common jew? Hitler didn't… and that's why he's awesome!"_

_"Fuck you Cartman"_

_"Hey Kyle!"_

_"Oh hey Butters, what's up"_

_"Um… well it's just, oh jeez, I saw Kenny go into the bathroom earlier and he looked pretty darn upset like. I was gonna ask him what's up you know, but I didn't want to be a bother. I thought maybe you could talk to him?"_

_"Thanks, Butters, I'll go find him"_

_Kyle walks into the bathroom and sees blood spots on the floor. In the reflection of the mirror he sees Kenny standing by the urinal and waits for him to finish before speaking._

_"Why's there blood on the floor Kenny?"_

_"Oh I uh… I caught my finger in the door and uh… damn it hurts like a bitch you know! Hehe"_

_"Don't laugh it off Kenny, what happened? Talk to me"_

_"Kyle it's better to just drop it ok?"_

_"Kenny, you haven't worn your Parker to school in months. There must be a reason? What are you hiding?"_

_"Nothin' Kyle honestly, not hiding nothin'"_

_"Kenny please…"_

_"Kyle just shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone ok!? This isn't your shit to deal with and its best you just leave the situation there!"_

_Kyle walks up to Kenny and grabs his shoulders to turn him around. Kenny turns but keeps his head hung lower. Even so, Kyle can see blood staining the fur trim of his Parker hood, and can see his face slightly stained by both tears and blood. Kyle pulls the hood down and the left side of Kenny's hair is matted with fresh and dried blood. An angry gash causes a rift in Kenny's hair that makes it easily visible._

_"Jesus fuck Kenny what the fuck is this?!"_

_"… paper cut?"_

_"Kenny get your fucking head straight, we need to get you to the nurse!"_

_"Kyle – it doesn't matter. It'll stop hurting soon then it'll be alright"_

_"Who did this to you Kenny?"_

_"…"_

_"…Kenny?"_

_"…it was my fault ok – I started it!"_

_"Started what?"_

_"started laying into my dad. Big time. He was screaming in Karen's face and had a really rough grip on her shoulder, telling her that she wouldn't be getting anything she wanted ever because she stayed out too late. She's only fucking 8 Kyle, why would you be like that to an 8 year old? I fucking lost it and went full throttle on him. He was half cut so it wasn't hard, but when I was calming Karen down he smashed an empty bottle over my head before calling me a waste of space and passing out on the sofa"_

_"Fuck man Kenny we really need to get that looked at. You could still have glass in there or something"_

_"Kyle, please – I just want to forget about it all ok? It's not happened too many times before and I doubt it'll happen again so that's that. Job done all is forgotten"_

_"But KENNY…"_

_"Kyle…. Stop…"_

_"…"_

Before I knew it my feet had hit gravel. Where the fuck was I? I looked around and noticed a strangely familiar house. Damn I'd walked a fair bit then I must say. I don't even know what the time is but I'm guessing it's late enough for mom to fly off the handle. I think for a moment about getting closer to the house, but the thought tugs at my heart a little bit and I pussy out. Instead I decide to just start the walk home.

As I turn a corner I notice a man on the other side of the road talking rather loudly on a phone. I can't hear every word but it sounds like a deal gone bad. He's talking about money and merchandise and in this part of town that usually only means one thing. I quickly shift my glance to the floor and continue walking. Before too long though I hear footsteps behind me. Goddammit I knew I should have gone back through the woods. I quicken my pace and pull my phone out of my pocket, pretending to take a call. This doesn't seem to phase whoever is behind me though, as the footsteps get louder, faster, more determined. Just as I reach a convenience store I'm grabbed from behind and slammed into the side wall just behind the entrance.

"Very simple. Your wallet is mine and you get to keep your blood understand?"

"Bu…but I don't have a wallet on me!"

"Fuck that shit you were about to go into the store yeah? So you got money!"

"I don't have anything dude, check me I don't!"

"well then I guess you aint got no use to anybody do ya?"

I close my eyes as he raises a clenched fist and brings it down hard onto my cheek. I hit the floor and grab a quick breath of air before a foot flies into my stomach, forcing it all back out again. I do the only thing I know, tuck my legs in and cover my head with my hands. Before another hit can come my way though.

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

"What's it to you shrimp?"

"You don't just do this to people you pussy fuck! Put the fucking knife down!"

"I'll put it down your throat if you aint careful prick!"

I take a quick glance up and I see another figure moving towards my attacker. What the fuck though he doesn't look all that, is he really going to try to take this guy on, when he has a knife too! Fucking insane!

This random guy wastes no time though. As the knife is thrust his way he quickly side steps and pulling the attackers arm out straight, rams his palm into the attackers elbow, earning a loud crack and an arm that shouldn't bend that way. The man grabs away the knife from the attacker and grabs the back of his neck. In one quick motion he kicks one of the attackers legs forward, causing him to start leaning back, then he smashes the guys chest with his elbow, sending him down to the ground before he even gets his breath.

"I suggest you fuck off now" The guy said ever so calmly, and the attacker wastes no time picking himself up and getting the fuck outta dodge. The mystery saviour starts to walk away but I manage to choke out.

"Thanks dude, if you hadn't have been here I dunno what would have happened!"

He thinks for a moment before neglecting to respond and just starts walking away

"Hey, wait! Who are you?" but there was no need to ask that now was there. He steps back out onto the street and is doused in light from the convenience store. Blonde shabby hair, orange Parker. What. The. Fuck?

"Kenny?"

"You remember my name?"

"What are you talking about, of course I do! How did you know I was… that I needed… just what the hell happened here?"

"Don't worry Kyle. Just go to school and forget it all again. That's what happens right?"

"Kenny what are you talking about? Look I know things didn't go well all those years ago but jeez we can still talk you know? You show up and help me like this and expect me to forget the next day? Why?"

"I'm not worth it Kyle. I wasn't worth your friendship back then, I'm not now. That's why it's like this – You have Stan and I have my thoughts. That's just it."

"Then why save me? Why go up against a guy with a knife to save me if we just forget it and keep living as if nothing ever happened. As if WE never happened?"

There's an awkward pause. A silence that hits my ears like a train. I've always wanted to talk to Kenny again, but not like this. Even after all this time, after something has been done right between us, we still fight. Kenny shoves his hands deep into his Parker and keeps his gaze routed to the floor. He lets out a small sigh as he starts to walk away.

"Because Kyle…

I still love you…"


	5. What Happened

**As my first fan fic I can safely say - I have no idea what's going on here. I'm hoping that this story is making a bit of sense and hasn't jumped around or left people a bit confused. When I get a new idea I re-read everything I've written before to try and keep things flowing and I hope it is. Although I am aiming for a bit of cliff, a bit of mystery and some slight confusion or maybe unanswered questions each chapter so if it's going well then cool. I'm really enjoying writing it - and I'm enjoying what I see in my head as I write it. I hope you all are too!**

* * *

**5 Years Ago**

_Kenny and Stan walked out of the classroom and headed towards the playground, football in hand. After an hour of maths with Miss Menez the brain cells just can't cope with anything other than running around for a bit. They dump their textbooks in their lockers and toss the ball between each other as they exit into the sun. Looking over towards the field, Clyde, Craig, Tweek, Token and Cartman are already gathered around Kyle, all eagerly looking over his shoulder at his iPad and laughing._

_"Hey dudes," Stan starts, eyeing up the group and feeling like another football game may be lost, "anyone up for some tag rules?"_

_"Hey Stan, in a sec but you gotta check this video out – people have filmed their cats doing stupid things like running into walls and stuff. So fucking funny!" Kyle motions to both Stan and Kenny before holding the screen steady for the rest of the group. Kenny just rolls his eyes. He loves watching Kyle laugh. He's goddamn adorable when he laughs. Especially when he tries to hold it in, his face just bobbing up and down while he holds his stomach in pain. If the rest of the guys knew about the two of them then he'd run over and hug Kyle so tightly until he runs out of air. But Kyle has to keep up appearances for the basketball team. He can't be seen as gay or bisexual – he has to be a man, redeem himself after leaving Mr Garrison's balls on the court after his first tryout. Kenny personally couldn't give a fuck. Tweek is openly gay and Butters has been to a bisexual camp for fuck sake. None of that seems to matter to Kyle though, and opinions differ between people. _

_Kenny approaches the group and gives Kyle a slight endearing look, which Kyle returns before quickly scanning the group. No-one saw thank god, so he smiles again at Kenny and offers the iPad round some more for him to catch a glance._

_"Haha look at Kinny, drooling there over the possibility of seeing something that's actually worth money!"_

_"Shut up Cartman!" Stan gives him a gentle but sincere shove "at least he doesn't suck his mom's ass to get what he wants"_

_"Eh! I'm am not an ass-sucker – that job is left to the fags you git me!" Kenny's gut wrenches at the word. Even though no-one knows, fag is the one word that makes him feel physically sick. _

_"Kinny, maybe your dad can go knock over another best buy and get you one, if he's sober enough to remember and not get caught this time!"_

_Kenny tenses up slightly at the comment but lets it brush by him. To be fair, as much as he loves his dad Cartman does have a point_

_"Maybe he can sell Karen off for one – I bet you someone would give just about enough for her! Hahahaha"_

_"Cartman you sick fuck! She's 8 for fuck sake!" Kyle yelled in disgust and disbelief. The rest of the group stood slightly in shock at Cartman's out of line comment, Tweek started backing away slightly and Craig actually looked like he was ready to pounce. Having a little sister himself he couldn't imagine what Kenny was thinking after that_

_Kenny stayed calm and collected though. Not looking at all phased by the comment. He relaxed his tense chest and took a breath before walking up to Cartman._

_"Say one more thing about my family Cartman. Say. One. More. Thing. About Karen Cartman. Go on. One more…"_

_Kenny's eyes suddenly looked very dark. Stan saw Kenny slowly ball up his fists and nudged Kyle. They gave each other a look as if to say "we need to be ready to stop something here…" but Cartman didn't seem to notice. Kenny's stare remained fixed at his fat face bobbing up and down with laughter. Secretly Kenny wanted an excuse to seriously hurt Cartman after all these years. He wished it didn't have to involve Karen though._

_"ah, ah no, no you're right Kinny I should say your dad would do that. God knows he'd prefer to keep Karen home and rape her himself. I tell you Kinny that's what meth does to you…"_

_That was it. That was the moment that Kenny ceased to be Kenny. The little poor McCormick boy was lost, falling out of this world to a land of non-existence. That one moment shaped the boys past, present and future. And before anyone could speak – before anyone could move…_

_Kenny's fist met Cartman's nose with a crack so deafening it could probably be heard across the entire state. Cartman stumbled backwards, his hands shooting to his face and his eyes welling up_

_"Goddammit Kinny what the fu…" No time for talk, Kenny landed a boot to Cartman's gut and the fat Hitler doubled over in pain and loss of air. Kenny's face remained unchanged, stuck in a trance like state of pure hatred. Cartman may have had about half a foot in height and maybe 60 pounds in weight over Kenny, but this was something else. _

_Before Cartman could recover Kenny grabbed his head and with all his might flung it backwards, flipping Cartman onto his back and smashing the back of his head against the floor. Kenny moved around to the side and started planting kicks and stomps into the grounded boys side, back, face and legs. Each kick got more vicious until the boy could no longer cry out in pain, could no longer hold his hands up for protection and could no longer beg for forgiveness. Even after his movements stopped Kenny still saw blood, still remained over him, and as Cartman lay on his back Kenny mounted the boy and looked directly at his battered and bloody face._

_"Don't you ever…" thump_

_"talk about Karen…" thump_

_"again…" thump_

_"unless you want to die…" thump_

_Kyle and Stan finally snap to their senses as Cartman's blood starts sneaking its way to their feet. They run and grab either side of Kenny, lifting the kicking and screaming boy off of Cartman. As they set him down Kenny turns quickly to Stan and plants a fist into the side of his face, knocking the boy to the ground. He turns to Kyle and forces his knee up into his stomach before driving down on his back with his forearm_

_"FUCK OFF – ALL YOU ASSHOLES JUST FUCK THE FUCK OFF!" Kenny screamed – tears flowing freely from his face, blood dripping from his palms and sweat dripping from his forehead._

_"Ken… Kenny… what the…" Kyle coughed and spluttered out through a bloody mouth. He'd bitten down on his tongue and was holding his back and chest._

_"Don't Kyle. Just fucking don't." Kenny mumbled through tears. "What the fuck have I done. No… no Cartman's fault not mine. He made me. FUCK!"_

_Stan attempted to get up and help Kenny calm down, but as soon as he grabbed a hold of Kenny's arm, Kenny snatched it away_

_"Stay the fuck away from me. All of you do you hear me! JUST STAY THE FUCK AWAY! I HATE YOU ALL! FUCK!"_

_Kenny buried his head in his hands and started running. He ran out of the school and as far away from civilisation as possible. _

_Stan and Kyle accompanied Cartman to the hospital. The fat fuck spent three days unconscious before finally opening his eyes to an empty room. Kyle and Stan were both asleep on the floor. Kyle had a bandage round his head and Stan had an ice pack laying over his. Cartman surveyed the room and cast his mind back to the events he'd missed. The last thing he remembers was… rape. Fuck_

_In the solitude of silence. Cartman cried._

_2 months passed and still no-one had seen an orange Parker in school. No-one had heard mention of his name. No poor jokes had been cracked. In fact the three boys barely acknowledged the former existence of said person. There was nothing left to say – besides they knew nothing. Cartman refused to go to the cops, despite protest from Stan, and because Kyle convinced him not to. It caused a small rift between Stan and Kyle until Kyle explained his reasoning. _

_Kyle invited Stan round for some homework sessions, but when Stan got there Kyle instead changed the subject quite rapidly. He explained everything to Stan as he understood it, about Kenny's family and home life, about Kyle being the one to pick Kenny up countless times and offer him a spare room and also. Kyle confessed his feelings. Stan said nothing at first. He stood there taken aback by the words coming out of Kyle's mouth. Kyle was gay. And in love with Kenny McCormick. Kyle broke into light tears as Stan tried to comprehend what he was hearing. It would take a few days to sink in but for now he simply took Kyle in his arms and cried with him._

_But 2 months had passed. Why had no-one even heard about Kenny, let alone seen him around town? Seen him anywhere? None of it made sense. Cartman broke from the group to head to the Councillors Office and Stan and Kyle headed out towards the main entrance. Before they got there they saw the new kid standing right on the steps smoking in full view of anyone that were to walk past. Stan and Kyle looked at each other. They'd seen this kid in 2 or 3 classes but never heard him speak, or seen him involved in any lessons. His messy black hair hid most of his face from view and he complimented this with a low peaked baseball cap. You could tell he'd done they hair himself though, there were bits of blonde and brown sticking out where parts had been missed. For some reason though Kyle just couldn't let this kid stand there and smoke – knowing full well he'd land in the shit for it._

_As they approached the figure shifted slightly and took a long drag on his cigarette. Stan piped up first:_

_"Hey kid… you can't smoke here…"_

_No response. Kyle tried a different tactic_

_"Most kids go round to the storage shacks if they wanna smoke during recess…"_

_"I'm good here thanks…" shit. That voice…_

_Kyle froze as the new kid turned round. Stan was about to walk away until the kid removed the baseball cap. _

_"Not much worse can happen to me now." _

_Kyle's bottom lip quivered and Stan could see he was fighting back tears. No wonder they hadn't caught on in class – No Parker, no hood, no blonde hair, no voice. How were they to know that Kenny had been here all along?_

_Before either of them could speak Kenny raised a hand to stop them in their tracks. _

_"Don't bother guys. I'm way past it all now. There's no point in even trying. I think it'd be best if you two just forget you saw me here. Forget about me altogether. I'm no good – bad news. All I'll end up doing is hurting you both."_

_"But Kenny…" Kyle started, gulping back a few tears "you're our friend. We can help, we still want to help."_

_"Kyle. Stan. I'm going to say this only once. I am not your friend. You are not mine. I don't ever want to hear that again. Now. Fuck off the both of you. And don't bother coming back."_

_Kenny turned round and continued with his cigarette. He looked off into the distance and kept his body tensed and strong. Kyle tried again to converse but he was met with silence. Eventually he admitted defeat and walked away with Stan, both heads hung low and neither of them said a word. _

_Kenny glanced back at the two walking away. With tears in his eyes he whispered… _

_"Goodbye you guys…"_


	6. Come Get Some

**Ok things get a bit raunchy fairly early here so take care. het action only so far. Also I've re-read the earlier chapters to try to keep continuity and the flow as best I could but (my fault) there is no plan or structure to this story to work from. Hopefully it works. If not then I'll re-write at some point**

**Enjoy**

**Stan's POV**

* * *

As the bedroom door opens I take a good glance at her walk in and over to the dresser. The scent of her bodywash rushes past me to escape out the window but all I can think about is why I couldn't have showered with her? I mean, I know her parents are in but she's back in the room here with me naked, they know we have sex. I wouldn't have thought it was a big deal. Still, I suppose it's worth waiting for the show when she comes back in.

Wendy runs a brush through her damp hair and straightens out all the kinks before letting it rest against her back. I don't think I'm gonna be able to… fuck me as she slides the top of the towel away from her body so that it covers only her legs. She looks at me in the mirror and offers a devious looking smile I know all too well.

I stand up and close the curtains, before heading to the door to make sure it's locked. I return her smile and slowly walk to stand behind her. I run my hands down her back and bring them both round her waist to settle on her stomach, wrapping her in a soft embrace before kissing her neck and collar-bone. She sinks back into me and moans ever so slightly as my left hand travels up to cup her right breast. Massaging the nipple I keep her distracted as my right hand slowly creeps under the towel and pulls up in between her legs. The warmth and dampness lingers from her shower and it sends me hard almost instantly. I slowly run my fingers over and around her clit, flicking between her moist lips and teasing her by pushing in ever so slightly with a finger. She sighs heavily and her breathing starts to increase as I gain some speed and intensity. It doesn't take long before Wendy is dripping and gasping for more, trying to thrust herself onto my fingers. When I deny her the pleasure she turns and quickly relieves me of my pants and underwear.

She wastes no time taking my length in her mouth, sucking and licking vigorously at the head and diving down as far as she can on the shaft. She continues for a few minutes and I'm getting close. I mutter words to that effect and she understands straight away – no way am I coming before she does tonight! She stands and quickly drags me to the bed, laying down first and opening her legs to draw me down onto her. I tease her for a few minutes, rubbing the head all over her clit, separating her lips with it and ever so slightly dipping in. She nearly screams at me before I take one hard deep thrust into her. I hold it in for a while to let the wave of pleasure overtake her before starting up a steady rhythm. Damn Wendy is so tight! Obviously she's my first so I can't compare but I can't see me getting bored with this for a long time! She moves her hips in time with me, encouraging me to go harder, faster, deeper into her as she pulls her knees to her chest and squeezes them closed. The immense tightness, heat and pleasure sends us both over the edge and within a few minutes we come in unison.

We lay there for a minute to catch our breath before I'm too soft to stay inside. I love that she's on birth control – after we had sex for the first time without a condom about 6 months ago (we didn't have one and damn we needed release!) we've never looked back. It's a thousand times better. She sighs softly as we lay and I stroke her hair whilst kissing her forehead. She laid her head down on my chest and draped her top leg over me, which I began to softly stroke. I must say if sex is the best feeling in the world, then naked cuddles after is the second best. After about ten minutes I noticed that Wendy has fallen asleep. God she's gorgeous when she's sleeping! But I need to wake her, what if her parents come knocking? Plus I do need to get home tonight. Luckily I don't need to do anything.

A loud buzz comes from the table next to her bed and my phone lights up the window. Wendy slowly rises, looking slightly dazed, before smiling at me and lifting herself off with a kiss and a thank you. She walks back over to her dresser and carries on with her pre-sex routine as I grab my phone and find a single message.

**Kyle B: Dude, are you up and available? Need to talk big time!**

I scrunch my eyes up at the text, wondering what could be that important it couldn't wait till morning.

**Stan M: At Wendy's atm ;) oh yeah I did lol. Whats up? Cant it wait till morning?**

I hit send and start pulling my clothes back on as Wendy turns round to find out who the mystery texter is.

"One of your other girlfriends wants some lovin' now do they?" She started, with a light grin on her face. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Yeah, Cartman's mom has sent another mass text, she wants me, Kyle, Token and Tweek to piledrive the fuck out of her! I hope she lets me in her ass this time"

That earns a snort and gag laugh from Wendy as she imagines Cartmans face at seeing his moms face while she's got four dicks in her again.

**Kyle B: Yeah I guess it could wait. Don't wanna ruin your chances dude :) have fun and wrap that bad boy up**

"So I'm guessing Kyle then?" She brings the conversation back to normality and I realise I haven't actually told her yet.

"Sorry hun, yeah it's Kyle. Apparently he's got something big to tell me but I told him I'm with you and it could surely wait till morning."

"Well babe it's only 9:30 and my parents won't let you spend the night, so you could pop there now if you like. We'll see each other tomorrow night now won't we?" The last sentence almost sounds like an erotic fantasy of hers. I hope my dick has reloaded by then!

"If you're sure Wendy, I don't mind staying. Like I said I'm sure Kyle can wait…"

"No it's fine Stan. Go and see what he needs. I've had what I needed…" licking her lips it's clear she's satisfied, and hell she's giving me the green light to do what I want. I'm not gonna let that pass me!

"Thanks babe," I smile before kissing the top of her head and grabbing my phone and keys. "I'll see you tomorrow yeah?"

As I leave I fire up another quick text and send it Kyle's way

**Stan M: On my way dude. Wendy granted permission! Don't worry about ruining my eve either, we'd finished by the time you text :P be there in 5**

As I walked up to Kyle's house I suddenly started to get a bit more nervous about what he needed to tell me. If only due to the fact that Kyle was sitting on his front door step, cigarette in one hand and beer in the other. Fuck this can't be good! Kyle doesn't drink, and he has smoked in nearly a year. I break into a slow jog for the rest of the way, and as I reached him he slowly looked up to reveal a large bruise covering his cheek. He was breathing fairly heavily too and I knew something serious had gone down.

"Dude, what the fuck! You look like shit" well done Marsh. First words have to try to lighten the mood or make you look like a dick don't they

"Thanks dude. I was going for the kinda 'smashed in the face by a fist' look for your arrival tonight"

Kyle slurred his speech slightly and I could tell he was having trouble moving his jaw.

"Dude, you look like you need a hospital…" I thought I'd add that, even though I know Kyle wouldn't bother. After the hemorrhoid incident and the kidney failure I knew he'd probably never set foot in a hospital again. Needless to say, I was right

"No dude I'm fine. A bit of ice will do the trick. And if it doesn't clear up I'll go see the school nurse in a few days."

Predictable as always. I knew there was no point in arguing with this. Kyle was a stubborn motherfucker and no-one will make him do something he doesn't want to do. I gave up fairly quickly on that idea and took a seat next to him. Grabbing the cigarette I took a long drag and handed it back to him. I grabbed the beer and washed the smoke down before starting from the text.

"So… what's so important that I couldn't enjoy naked post-coital cuddles with a certified sex goddess?"

"Dude you didn't have to leave her you know?"

" I know, but – well actually I kinda wanted to see you too. We haven't just chilled for an evening for quite a while and I miss that quite a bit."

"You did enough chilling at Bebe's party the other day!" we both admitted small chuckles as we cast our minds back. Needless to say I was wrecked, but although I didn't have a lot of control over myself, I still remember pretty much everything that went down.

"So did you. If I remember rightly the text I got from you the morning after was something along the lines of 'I remember pissing in the laundry then sitting outside'. Smooth operator right here!"

"Yeah, but at least I didn't plot to start up a new little super group of friends with Token or Tweek or whoever else was stupid enough. But then you were lovestruck, that was after you kissed me…"

"Hey, that was a man kiss – you know me, and I know you. We're both comfortable with our sexuality and that is that. Now anyway, back to the point, what did you need to talk to me about?"

Kyle hesitated for a moment, as if trying to find the right words to use.

"Well… as you can see, I got pretty fucked up..."

I nod in agreement while resting my chin in my hand.

"luckily though I was right near that convenience store near the old part of town, but jesus the guy pulled a knife and wanted money that I didn't have…"

ok this just got a bit more serious

"But that doesn't matter too much… the point is this guy helped out…"

"Jeez Kyle this is heavy stuff but thank fuck you're ok. I mean you could have ended up lying on the streets with no-one around…"

"Stan…"

"I mean I know that old part isn't exactly deserted but most people there don't' give a fuck about anything but themselves. I doubt you would have been found…"

"Stan…"

"I'm just glad there was one decent person nearby who noticed. Did the police get involved at all? We need to stop this happening again Kyle, need to talk to someone else besides…"

"STAN!"

I had been babbling on with no thought for the fact that Kyle's eyes were fixed at the ground trying to tell me something until he screamed at me. I could see his eyes were glistening, he was fighting back the tears but whatever happened – if something else had happened – it wasn't easy for Kyle to talk about. I immediately scooted closer to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, giving him a silent signal to carry on.

"It was Kenny…"

XXX

Wendy finished drying her hair and turned to switch her tv on before climbing into bed. Flicking through the channels she found an old re-run of some documentary about thanksgiving that was shown virtually every week. Just as she was about to turn it off her phone lit up. She grabbed it and slid open the text, reading it two or three times before smiling to herself and hitting the reply button.

**Wendy T: He's gone now. I'm ready when you are…**


	7. Those Soaring Notes

**I don't know whether I'm updating this too quick and too often, but I just want to get what I write out there. A lot of free time on my hands at the moment and I love seeing the traffic numbers going up :) I think I'm going to hit a lull soon anyway, I've got ideas for another 2 or 3 chapter's worth. Not sure How much longer I want to keep things going for though. Not sure which direction I'm going to go in yet either so things could end soon, maybe we could see into the future a bit and see what happens after the end, where everyone ends up. I seriously don't know**

**If you guys have any ideas that you may like to see included then feel free to let me know. I can always do with input. Typically I have one idea and run with it, and if I have another idea i think it's rubbish and don't bother, but I've never had outside input. Also if you're liking things as they are please do review, I don't need them to keep updating but it's nice to know if people are enjoying it**

**Kyle's POV**

* * *

I kept feeling like everyone's eyes were on me in school the next day. I crept through the corridors with a nervous twitch, taking note of everything that went past me. I knew people were whispering behind my back, making their own assumptions about why I'd been off for a week. It's understandable really, Kyle Broflovski doesn't miss school for anything less than death, and yet I appeared fine before my absence. The swelling on my face had gone down considerably, and mom had given me some cream to try to mask what was left. All in all it went unnoticed, and I guess in actuality people didn't really care that much.

I made it to lunch without a single question being asked, yet I almost wanted people to ask. It would give me the opportunity to mention Kenny. Why had he helped me? I know what he said at the end but if that was the case, why did he ignore us for 5 years? We hadn't been seeing each other long, not even Stan knew about us and that's how it was going to work for the time being but even in that short period of time there was such a connection. I would go as far to say that I loved him. I was still pretty confused about my feelings and my sexuality, but basically I knew that anytime there was anything to do with Kenny my stomach would do backflips. The mention of his name would bring a smile to my face, and I'd hunt eagerly with my eyes to find him at lunch or after school. I must have looked like a lost puppy.

And then he lost it on Cartman and ended up hurting him pretty bad. I'd never seen that side of him. And he floored me and Stan as well when we tried to help. I get he was angry at what Cartman said, and I get he was still just lashing out – that's why I never blamed him. Yeah I was shocked but I could see past the fact that my boyfriend just squared a fist in my face. He never could though, and for some reason he decided to bottle it and run away. We stopped seeing him around and eventually we just had to accept things for being that way. It hurt so much more than that punch.

I joined Stan at the table and pushed my tray to the side. To the spot Kenny used to sit in. I pulled out an English textbook and began to take some notes. Stan looked puzzled at me, but shrugged it off and gave me a pat on the back. We exchanged smiles and sat in silence for a while until Wendy came skipping along. I gotta say. Wendy is hot. If I weren't gay she would definitely be on my masturbation fantasy list (Stan would have to live with that if he knew haha) but that skipping thing she does – jeez your 18 love, grow up a bit at least!

"Hey Stan, you free tonight? My parents are round my aunt's house from 7 and they won't be back till late…" she gave him a knowing wink and a crafty smile. I think even without that the whole table knew what she was getting at though.

"Sorry hun, I've just been given 3 more assignments to do in politics and geography and two of them are ongoing all week, I need to get some research done tonight before class tomorrow. If I get it done early enough though, I'll let you know if that's cool?" Stan winced a bit at the end, almost as if he was expecting a disappointed reply. Funnily enough though, Wendy stayed fairly calm.

"Ah that's cool, I probably could use the time for a history project I want to wrap up early anyway. Well I might see you tonight then, just send me a text or something." She leans down and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek, sneakily moving one hand down to "support her lean" on his crotch. Clearly trying to let him know what he's missing. Stan just smiles it off though and waves her off.

Tweek and Craig stare at Stan, not quite sure as to what he just passed up. Stan notices and begins to explain.

"Guys, I had that last night ok? And believe it or not, not every man wants to get his dick wet all the time. I need some nights off you know? Otherwise she'll wear it away with all that friction!"

Craig and Tweek both let out laughs and nod at the explanation. Although I don't think Craig gets it. That's probably because Craig lost his virginity behind the school huts for 10 bucks, but who am I to judge, I suppose he's at least HAD sex. Before Craig and Stan start exchanging stories I notice the time and slide myself out from the table, waving goodbye so I can run to my locker and grab the French essay I needed to hand to Mr Danby. Stan launches his locker key and asks me to grab the same paper from his locker too.

On my way to the lockers I cast my mind back to that night. I cast my mind back to Kenny. Damn he looked good. I wish I knew more about him now, I wish I could find out how the last few years have been for him. I wonder if his dad has changed at all? And I wonder how Kevin and Karen are doing. I still see Karen around now and then but she doesn't really recognise me. She looks happy though, and I can only determine that that's all thanks to Kenny. Kenny lives for his sister. I guess you could say – without sounding weird – that she's the true love of his life. That does at least explain why he went Rambo on Cartman's ass, he was being a right fucking douche.

I went to Stan's locker first even though it was further away than mine, because to come back to mine last was to be closer to my next room. As I opened my locker, a class door behind me opened and I heard a lot of clapping and music coming from within. I turned quickly to see if I could find out what's going on as Ike closed the door behind him.

"Bro-ski…" I exclaimed as I walked over to him, "you in a music room? During recess? That doesn't normally happen."

Ike gave me a quick hug before explaining

"Yeah there was like, a jam session for a new school band, they had one last Friday too but I didn't know about it. Then in homegroup everyone was talking about it and apparently a couple of kids that are really good so I thought I'd check it out!"

I nod in agreement to his story and take a peek over his head. They must be round the corner because I can't see anyone but I can hear music starting up again.

"Maybe I'll have a quick look myself. I'll see you afterschool Ike." I state as I swerve round him and push the door open slowly.

When I open the door the smooth sounding melody hits me and catches me off guard. The guitar vibrates throughout the whole room and hits every part of me quite powerfully. The song is quite slow, an instrumental by the absence of a mic stand anywhere, and all of a sudden the notes pick up a pitch and the guitar whales and screams through, such effortless emotion coming from the instrument and player. I stare in awe at the concentration in his face at a slightly trickier scale section, before he relaxes into that simple soaring melody again. The song slowly comes to an end and the guitarist opens his eyes, finally seeing that he still has an audience – of one person. Of me.

When did he learn guitar? I've missed so much and it brings a terribly painful tug at my heart and throat.

"Kenny…"

"Hey Kyle"

We stare at each other for a few moments. Neither one of us knowing what to say or do. Kenny takes the initiative and starts packing the guitar into a case, and I follow suit by walking towards him.

"You're amazing Kenny, how long have you been playing?"

"About a year I guess. I haven't really kept track. But it's brought me some good money over the last few months so I come here and practice when I can and doing stuff for the teacher earns me the guitar over the weekend to gig with when I'm offered it"

"That's great Kenny, really. Have you got any other songs I could hear? I'd love to see what else you can do!"

I'm hoping the enthusiasm is coming through well enough. I really want to keep him talking; I need to know why he helped me. Fuck I want to know everything. I want to know why we haven't been a part of each other's lives for 5 years. Why did he just walk away and ignore everyone? What gave him the right to decide whether we could be friends or not. As I thought about it in the silence I started to get a little angry. For the first time since it all fell apart I actually wanted to vent so much at Kenny but I just couldn't. Not because I may lose this opportunity to talk to him, but because deep down. I think I still love him too.

Kenny took a moment, sighing as he placed the guitar back in its case. He was deep in thought – or at least it looked that way. You could hear the cogs going 100 miles an hour in his head, but there was an air of sadness surrounding him.

"What do you really want Kyle? Why are you in here?" He let the words fall out without shifting his gaze.

"I just… I heard the music outside, and Ike came out and said you were really good so I thought…"

"You thought here's an opportunity to start up some conversation?"

Kenny shifted his gaze quickly over to me. His words weren't harsh or tainted with anger. It was the truth after all. It was an excuse to start conversation.

"Yes. Yes Kenny, you're right. Because up until now there's been no easy topic of conversation to have to break the ice. There's been nothing. It's like you still want us to believe you don't exist."

"I don't exist Kyle. I just am. I have nothing, I'll always have nothing. The point of me being here is to one day die."

"Kenny for fuck sake you didn't have to walk away from any of this. Me and Stan, we get it ok? We know why you were so pissed, we know why you took it out on us, it doesn't matter to us. We still wanted to be your friend. And we would never have said anything like that in a million years."

"I know Kyle, but as I said before it's nothing to do with you. It's me…"

"That's a bullshit excuse boyfriends use to their girlfriends when they want an excuse to break up but are too pussy to tell them the real reason. That's pathetic Kenny…"

"I am pathetic though Kyle…"

"GODDAMMIT!"

I can't help but slam both my fists into the table. Kenny looks unaffected and continues to gaze at me straight-faced without an ounce of emotion. He picks up the guitar and puts it back into storage before heading for the door.

"Conversation's over Kyle…"

I quickly stand and block his exit. He's not walking away like this. Not again. He's got a few inches on me and his stare intimidates the fuck out of me but I'm not wavering until I get answers. Kenny notices this and starts balling his fists up. I notice it out of the corner of my eyes but I keep my gaze fixed at his. I'm not going to let him get one up on me without doing anything.

"Kyle. Conversations over. Move"

Instead I slowly lift my outstretched hand and guide it towards his cheek. As it makes contact he turns his head sharply away to the side, recoiling from the touch but not backing away.

"If you want to leave Kenny, I'm not going to stop you. But I'm not moving either. Do what you want to me, throw me out the way, smash my face to a pulp, kick me down or just push me to one side. I don't care. But it's not going to stop me Kenny. Sooner or later you're going to talk to me…"

Kenny's gaze drifted down as he listened, realising that this time he may not have a choice.

"You're going to tell me whatever I want to know Kenny. I'm going to offer you the chance and you're going to take it, and when you're ready you'll come back to us. I know you will. Because you remember that night in the alley Kenny?"

Kenny started to waver. He back up slightly and sat down on the edge of the table. His gaze still settled on the ground and his face reddened as emotions slowly came back to him.

"I do Kenny. I remember it very well. I remember those few words you said to me before you left. And that is why I'm not going to give up. That's why I'm going to stay here until you're ready. It's why Stan and I would welcome you back with open arms. It's why I can't sleep at night, why I have nightmares and cuddle into my pillow for comfort. The fact is…"

I pause for dramatic effect. Well no, I pause to get my breath back. Even though I hadn't raised my voice the sheer volume of what had just poured out overwhelmed me and I forgot to breathe. It was a good moment though to walk forward slightly and once again extend my hand to Kenny. Placing it gently under his chin I lifted his head so that his gaze met mine. No matter what I was going to make sure he heard this last part.

"Kenny… I still love you too…"

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**If anyone's interested in the song Kenny was playing when Kyle walked in, the song I had playing when I got the idea for this chapter is called "Crying" by Joe Satriani. Its one of my favourite instrumental works by a fantastic guitarist. If you've not heard of Joe seriously listen to some of his stuff - I can recommend tons of it. And feel free to listen to Crying as well**

**picture to go with the chapter? try this one - www . ****tinyurl cegv5x7** - from a great artist, Allen Jeff. Such an awesome artwork!


	8. Time to Face the Music

**Longer chapter coming up. I wanted to pack in as much as I could without splitting it up, hopefully its good enough to achieve that**

**Kenny's POV**

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I still don't know why I've agreed to this. I can't believe it's finally happening. Gotta stay cool though, I've got to make it look like I really don't give that much of a fuck. That's just how I am now, I've got to keep the ball in my court, for my own sake. Glancing out the window quickly I notice the sun beaming down on everything so I decide on a black vest top and some old cargo pants before heading out of my room. I take a quick peek into Karen's room to make sure she's ok and she's laughing along with her friend Ruby, looking through photos and swapping note paper. I smile to myself and leave them too it as I head for the front door.

Just as I reach for the handle a voice behind me grabs my attention.

"Not so fast Mr… "

Karen's standing propped up against the wall, looking me up and down.

"You can't go out like that – it's gonna get cold soon Kenny, you need a jumper or something at least. Here…"

She throws a black hoodie in my direction and I reach out to catch it by the sleeve. She doesn't throw it far enough though so my attempted catch earns me a near face plant as I stumble forward to reach it, earning a cheeky giggle from her. I smile up at my own clumsiness before wrapping it round my waist and opening the door.

"Thanks Karen" I spoke softly, trying to emphasize my appreciation. Karen smiled and waved me out before returning to her room.

It didn't take long to arrive at the house and looking up at the bedroom windows brought back dozens of memories. Countless sleepovers, game nights and idle chit chat had taken place her over the years. It certainly brought a smile to my face. Reality came crashing back down as I started up the path towards the front door though, and a wave of angst hit me like a rock. I was so nervous, I felt physically sick and my mouth suddenly became very dry. I had to suck it up though. There's no point in running again, not when I'm so close. I take a deep breath and force myself back into as much of an uncaring attitude as I can muster before reaching forward and knocking on the door.

"Hey dude, glad you came."

Stan's grin was soft but genuine, and he stood to one side to let me into his house. I took a minute to scan round the front room – this place hasn't changed at all, and I couldn't help but be warmed by the feeling of familiarity. Closing the door, Stan stood by my side and offered me over to the couch.

I took a seat as Stan disappeared into the kitchen, muffling conversation with the other party for a few minutes before returning with a pack of beers, random snacks… and Kyle on his heels.

"Thanks for coming Ken"

Kyle offered a smile my way and I casually returned it whilst offering a quick two fingered salute in acknowledgement. Stan folded into the seat next to me and Kyle found a space on the floor in front to stretch out. He cracked open a can and took a long swig before fumbling with his iPod to select some non-intrusive background music. Always count on Kyle to eliminate any awkward silence before it starts.

Things start fairly mellow. We all toss the beers back whilst idle chat is thrown between all three. I sat back from the conversations a fair bit at first, whilst Stan and Kyle continued on about a lot of things I had no involvement in. Every now and then a subject would crop up that I could comment on, but for the most it was just nice to be around company again. I knew however that this couldn't last. I'd come here for a reason, and that wasn't going to go away. I have to face the music, have to face up to some pretty intense questions and I best have some answers. Deep down I knew this was make or break – this was a point of no return. Friends or bust, those were the options. I hope I'm strong enough to choose…

"So Kenny… you gonna start us off here?"

Kyle shot me a quick glance as he raised his can to his lips. Here we go.

"Where from Kyle? I don't know what you want to hear?"

"Oh, I don't know – maybe, where the fuck did the last 5 years go for us?"

"Kyle…"

Stan shot him a warning glance. A glance that I felt said 'calm down before he says fuck it and leaves'

"You're right Kyle. Where did the last 5 years go? Not that I'm passing the blame here, but this isn't entirely my fault you know…"

"Oh yeah you would indicate us wouldn't you Kenny. Need I remind you that YOU told US to fuck off? We did nothing but try and stay to help and you completely shunned us. We didn't really have a choice in the matter!"

Stan took a slight initiative and broke the tension whilst softening the blows Kyle was landing on me

"To be fair to us Ken, Kyle does have a point. We were ready to forgive and forget, but you seemed to want to shut us off all the time. Man you dyed your hair and changed your clothes after being gone for a while, we had no idea it was even you! You gotta give us a bit of slack for the way things went down"

"And I did. If I remember rightly I told you that it was all on me, that it was my problem and you guys were better off without me but…"

Kyle seemed flustered by that last comment. Oh dear – I can see some pretty heated words coming from all directions and I suddenly can't run.

"Better off without you…! Kenny what the fuck! Did you not stop to think of me?! I know it was only a month or so but fucking hell I dedicated so much to you when I told you my feelings for you. I think I deserved a little more than to just get kicked to the kerb without as much as a decent reason! You killed me inside when you wanted nothing to do with us! My parents were ready to send me to a shrink; they thought I'd had a nervous breakdown!"

Kyle choked out a few words and I knew I'd hurt him bad. It's another reason I stayed away, I couldn't cope with hurting him of all people.

"Kyle, you don't understand everything. You have no idea what was going on back then so I don't blame you for feeling that way, but I felt like I had no choice – all I was doing was hurting people, and I couldn't bear the thought of hurting you"

"Just tell us what was going on"

Kyle had a determination in his voice that never faltered in that one sentence. It was the offer he made to me. That sentence spoke enough volumes that I had to grab it with both hands. This was my one last shot to make things right.

I stood up, moving to the window and sighed deeply as I gazed out. It had started to rain. I grabbed another beer out of the bag and threw half of it down my neck in one before collecting my thoughts and turning to face both boys whose eyes were firmly fixed in anticipation.

"I just… I love my sister more than my own life. She means the world to me. And Cartman, well… that fat fuck! He has no idea at all and yet he still carried on…"

Kyle piped up too early to interrupt.

"Ken we were there, we know what Cartman said, and Stan and I were both in agreement if we'd have been you we'd have done the same…"

"That's not the point though Kyle, let me finish."

Kyle looked shot down, as if I'd just told him off for being bad or something, but his look told me he was apologising and letting me continue

"About 2 month before that, Karen was out with some friends downtown. They were only looking around, jesus she was only 8 what could she have got? But they'd finished up and she began the walk home. Mid-day. What the fuck happens at mid-day really? I got a phone call come through from her, her voice was so scared – she sounded out of breath, like she had been running, but she asked me to come and get her and being worried I ran all the way there. When I got to where she was there were two man standing in front of her, one of them was trying to pick her up and walk over to their van but let me tell you, she can kick like a motherfucker…"

I had to add that line, a bit of humour kept the tears from falling for a while, and I couldn't break yet. Stan was on the edge of the sofa and Kyle had propped himself up, both looked at me wide-eyed and open-mouthed waiting for the rest.

"Anyway I naturally flipped a lid and I slammed as hard as I could into one of the guys which sent him through a side door into the store next to them. The other guy grabbed Karen in front of him and started playing around, using her as bait, or a hostage or something. But he pulled a knife on her…"

That was it. Tears have arrived. Fuck sake McCormick, grow a pair!

"By this time the store clerks must have been on the phone to the police, I could hear them in the distance. The guy just looked at me and said 'when they get here, this one gets it' and I just thought to myself there's nothing I can do you know. Karen looked at me though; she had a belief in her eyes like it was all going to be ok. And with that she bit down on his hand. Without even thinking I ran straight for him when she'd gotten away and I grabbed his hand, turning it in on himself… I slammed that knife into his chest…"

I look down at the floor as I press the last few words out. I can't see them, but I can feel the emotions coming from Stan and Kyle's expressions and pressing their way through my body. Either they both have no idea what to say, or they're waiting for more. I can only silently thank them for not breaking the flow up. This needed to be in one.

"I didn't hear a thing. It was like I got shut off in my own bubble then. But I was still so pissed. I didn't want that to be the end of it. So as he fell to the ground I got on top of him. And I smashed as much fuck out of his face as I could. I just kept hitting him. Hitting and hitting until I was pulled off, cuffed and thrown into a police car. Karen was taken back home safely and I spend a month in jail. I was assigned anger management, which I failed miserably because the slightest thing started to piss me off beyond belief. When my hearing came round my dad stood as witness in place of Karen and eventually they ruled it self-defence, but served me papers to counselling twice a week. My dad blew a gasket and mom shut down completely when I got home. What with court bills and all there was just no way to support me through all that. Dad started drinking and didn't really help me out of angry mode by beating on me most nights, but that I could handle. Until that one night…"

This was it. This was the moment. Hopefully they might start to understand bit better after this. Either that or they'll just realise that I am a deranged psycho and they need to stay the fuck away from me. I need to be in a padded cell for the rest of my days. I looked at them both in turn. Kyle had tears in his eyes and Stan was just covering his mouth in shock. Neither of them knew what to say. I wanted so much to grab Kyle in a massive hug and just comfort him, but I had to finish. They had to hear it all. They had to hear about things getting worse.

"Stan, Kyle. Do you remember Cartman's words that day?"

I gave them both a moment to answer before chiming in myself

"_God knows he'd prefer to keep Karen home and rape her himself"_

My fists clenched at mentioning those words again. I took a sharp breath and remember what I'd told myself when I agreed to talk about it.

"Cartman doesn't know. No-one knows. No-one was ever told this. And guys… I've not even told my shrink this. You two are the first people to hear of this outside my family. Please don't say anything until I finish… this is fucking killing me at the moment but you wanted to know so here it is."

Kyle stood up and moved himself onto the couch next to Stan, grabbing his hand and holding for dear life. He rested his head onto Stan's shoulder, looking for comfort, looking for the warmth that could help him understand what he was hearing.

"Well the thing is. Cartman was very… nearly… right."

I knew what was coming, and before either of them could move, speak or think I raised a hand to stop them in their tracks.

"My dad came home drunk that night, moaning about the money I'd lost them. I didn't hear most of what went on but at some point he'd started yelling at Karen, blaming her for being out and starting off the situation that landed me in jail. I listened for a moment just to find out what was going on when I heard a thud, like something had hit the floor. Pulling open my door I saw Karen on the floor, my dad hovering over her with his pants round his ankles… and he's trying to… he pulling hers down and…"

I can't. I just can't say it. I've broken, and there's nothing I can do to stop tears flowing freely down my face. I sink down to my knees and in seconds I feel warmth all around as I realise Stan and Kyle have both rushed over and are hugging me from both sides. They're both crying with me. We sit huddled in silence for 5, 10 minutes, maybe more. Just rocking and sobbing. I calm myself as much as possible. I'm not finished, and I need to be. I need to close this off.

"I ran over and kicked him square in the face. I thought about nothing other than getting Karen away from him. I helped her up off the floor and redressed her. I kept talking to her, trying to get a response, but she stayed silent. I tried to reassure her, to explain to her, but nothing. She'd shut off. Do you remember when you saw me in the bathroom Kyle? I had a sliced head? That was courtesy of a bottle from my dad. Once he'd gained his bearings he brought it down fast and hard. I think he nearly shit himself when I didn't go down though. I turned and grabbed him by the throat, forcing him up against the wall. I told him if he ever thought of doing that again I'd slit his throat in front of mom, and then I chucked him out of the house. I took Karen into my room and sat up with her the whole night cradling her and reassuring her. It took a while but after a few days she started talking again, and ever since then my dad hasn't spoken to me and hasn't laid a finger on either mom or Karen. It was worth it for that I guess"

I take another swig of beer to calm my nerves and take a look at both Stan and Kyle. They both offer me calming smiles.

"I'm so sorry for everything you guys. I know I should have controlled it but when Cartman said that… I just saw red, and when you guy's grabbed me all I could feel was my father. I didn't stop to think about who I'd hurt and at the time I didn't care. I just needed everyone 1000 miles away from me. So that's what I did. I put as much distance between my life at the time and shut out reality. I wish I'd never been in any of those situations, they've cost me more than I know."

Kyle was stroking my hair, soothing me with breaths and light kisses to my forehead. It was nice to think he's doing it because he cares. As he sits with me, Stan gets up and walks to the couch where his phone has just gone off.

**Fatass: Dude you gotta get to Wendy's now. And I'm not joking, the lights are all off but I just saw someone creep in through an upstairs window. **

Stan read the text in a flurry and quickly excused himself. He wished he could stay and keep Kenny company but he had Kyle. Besides he didn't know if Wendy was in or not, if someone's in the house she could be in trouble. He offered Kenny a spare room should he need it and reassured him that they'll talk more later. Kyle nodded for Kenny's agreement and Stan headed for the door.

"Stan…"

He paused and turned back round to me.

"If you see Cartman tonight, can you tell him I'm sorry? Don't tell him anything else. Just say I'm so sorry for everything?"

"Sure thing dude, don't worry."

And with that he headed out.

Kyle stood up and grabbed his coat. He needed to get home too. We exchanged a few more words and hugged briefly, both also muttering thanks to one another before he too headed off out. I turned and headed to the back door, reaching for a cigarette in my pants pocket. I opened the back door and stepped out into the rain. I let it wash over me as I looked towards the sky and let it drench through, washing away five years of heavy regret and remorse. I smiled slowly to myself and let out a huge sigh. The weight has been lifted. I'm nearly free…

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**One more quick note. This chapter and the next were both inspired by some awesome fan art I saw recently. This chapter has been fuelled by fanart from Allen Jeff - - **** www . tinyurl 9otcq6b** - - thanks for everyone that keeeps reading :) 


	9. One Makes Up, One Breaks Down

**I hope you're still enjoying the read. I've had the idea for this chapter and also a chapter bringing Cartman into the story more for a while, I just need to work out how I'm going to word things and tie it in to the story. I also need a few more chapters to even things out, answer some more questions and tie p loose ends so hopefully theres at least another 6 chapters here. I'd love to pull this out to about 20 though so I'll give it my best**

**Stans PoV**

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I threw an evil look and a silent curse at my phone for going off at the worst moment possible. In truth, I could have left it for 5 minutes and the world probably wouldn't have ended. I think Kenny is probably more important than my mom wanting me home for dinner or even… well even Wendy sending a random "I love you" text. Right now all I wanted to focus on was Kenny. Kenny and Kyle. I wanted to comfort them both, to make them both ok and happy and, well the way things used to be.

I remember when Kyle first came to me about his sexuality. What he thought I'd do about it is still a mystery after all these years but I'm glad he did. Something like that I feel good knowing that he felt the need to tell me before anyone else. And – naturally – I shat bricks when he came out with it, because as selfish and big headed as it may sound I was expecting him to say he was in love with me. Do you blame me? We'd spent nearly every waking minute with each other since kindergarten! We'd been through so much together, knew so much about each other, it was only logical really. We were already closer than brothers and I think half the school expected things to go that way sooner or later. Needless to say when he told me he had feelings for Kenny I had a sense of relief and jealousy all in one. Why Kenny and not me? What was wrong with me that my best friend would pull away from? Then I came to my senses, realised that the day would never come that I would willingly take any length of meat up my ass and I moved on from that pretty quick.

From then I made it my mission to make sure Kenny and Kyle knew that this was ok, they had my full support and it wasn't going to change anything between any of us. God that one time 5 years ago really fucked my promise over. And the following three weeks of depressed and maniacal Kyle nearly fucked me over. I can see why so many people hated me when I turned 10. If I was anything like that then god I was the biggest dick to walk the planet!

I thought about my phone for a couple of seconds and after looking back down on Kenny I was pleased to see that I actually wasn't really needed. Kyle had Kenny's head buried deep into his chest and was rocking with him to calm him down. I took this as a sign that I could leave the next piece of healing to fate, and I could pick up where I left off tomorrow. With that I unravelled myself from Kenny and walked over to the sofa, grabbing my phone and groaning to myself when I noticed the id name that came with it. I came away from a perfect moment reconciling with a best friend… for Cartman.

Not that I actually mind Cartman much anymore. We've all kind of put aside most of Cartmans childhood mishaps – hey we were 4th Graders; teasing, ripping, pranking – it was all in our nature. OK giving Kyle AIDs may have been a step too far… but by and large, Kyle, Kenny and I have all pretty much moved on from that. We don't hang around him as much but at least interactions are friendly now. And unbeknownst to me, Cartman was once again about to lend a hand.

**Fatass: Dude you gotta get to Wendy's now. And I'm not joking, the lights are all off but I just saw someone creep in through an upstairs window. **

I re-read the text two or three times before things started to sink in. A knot overtook my stomach as I started to feel sick, angry and vengeful all at once. I had no idea if Wendy was in tonight. Actually thinking back on it I thought she was with Bebe so hopefully she won't be home while this is happening. But some motherfucker thinks they can steal from my girls house they got another thing coming!

"Guys…" I started as I pulled my coat and shoes on too quickly to allow them to actually fit comfortably. Kenny stayed close to Kyle, but tiled his head more towards me so I knew he was acknowledging him. Kyle looked up with worry in his eyes.

"I gotta get over to Wendy's. I'll explain tomorrow. Sorry for rushing out on you like this." I offer Kyle a warm smile, one that we both know the meaning behind, and he mouths thanks back to me.

"Stan…"

I feel guilty for leaving at the sound of my name through Kenny's sniffles. But I also felt a warmth at Kenny's tone. Soft and friendly – like old times. I continue heading towards the door, but turn back to hear the response before opening it

"If you see Cartman tonight, can you tell him I'm sorry? Don't tell him anything else. Just say I'm so sorry for everything?"

I haven't told either of them who the text was from, but I have a feeling that Cartman is the very person I'm about to see outside Wendy's – stalking whatever prey he claims to have seen

"Sure thing dude, don't worry."

I reassure my statement with a smile and Kenny tries his best to return it. I carry on out the door and close it softly behind me. As I walk away from the house I feel my cheeks flush as I look skyward and thank whatever force might be up there for bringing my friend back to me. I love Kenny nearly as much as Kyle and I threw up several times the day that he went maniac motherfucker on us. It really did cut me deep inside. I realised my smile was so wide it was aching my cheeks and that pulled me out of my thoughts of Kenny and back to my thought of Wendy. I broke into a sprint towards her house, praying I wasn't too late for whatever I would find there.

I looked around and slowed my pace as Wendy's house came into my sight. I checked my phone again but no more word from Cartman. A text lay there from Kyle but I did seriously need to ignore it for now. I looked up at Wendy's house and I could see through her bedroom window that the landing light was on. All others were off. I crept to the front door and gave it a quick try, but nothing – it was definitely locked. Before reaching for the spare key hidden under the door jamb I thought to check the back door. If the bastards got in they'll need a route out so somewhere must be open. To my surprise though the back door was still shut, and checking it confirmed it to be locked as well. With a puzzled look on my face I walked back round to the front door to retrieve the spare key and quietly let myself in.

Closing the door behind me I gave my eyes a few seconds to adjust to the dimness of the room. Scanning from left to right I couldn't make out anything that looked out of place at all so I moved to the bottom of the stairs. Listening closely I could definitely hear movement and what sounded like a man's voice coming from the landing. Looking back at the front door I grabbed the first thing I could find (a fucking umbrella – seriously!?) and readied it in baseball stance. Slowly climbing the stairs I could feel my heart beat deeper and faster with every step and I could have sworn the sound of my chest would give my presence away. As I topped the stairs I saw the only door open on this floor was Wendy's – and luckily it was the first and nearest door to my position. I hovered my hand over the landing light switch and as I flicked it off, dashed into Wendy's room and smashed the wall by her door to find the light switch there. I wish I hadn't.

I froze. I literally couldn't move. I couldn't speak, couldn't cry, couldn't even think about what my eyes were trying to grasp. After what seemed like days of standing there exchanging stares I finally dropped the umbrella (again, umbrella? Really?) and managed out the first break of silence.

"What. The. Fuck."

Nice and calm. Stay calm Stan. There's an explanation for this. Oh like fuck there is!

"Stan, please… I can explain…"

Wendy pleaded for a few minutes but I cut her off fairly quickly.

"How could you…?"

I had no words for the situation. I threw up on her floor and slammed the door behind me as I got the fuck out of there, tears streaming down my face and my breath caught between coming out and going in. I ran as far as I could before physically collapsing on the floor in a complete wreck. After a few minutes wallowing in the snow I pulled myself up onto a nearby bench in – wait a minute… Starks Pond? Man this place is just encoded into my blood or something. I clumsily reach for my cell phone and ten minutes later I manage to fire off a text to Kyle.

XXX

**Kyle's PoV**

**Stan M: dude. U free? If so starks pond? Need talk**

Oh dear – I guess that means Stan's drunk again. Why though? There's no party, no occasion to celebrate as such. I suppose we could toast Kenny's return to life as we know it but not him on his own? I fire him a quick reply and head out into the evening. As I walk I remember to also shoot a text in Kenny's direction.

**Kyle x: Hey dude. If you need it there's a mattress and blanket set up on my floor. Back door keys are under the gnome next to the light. Parents are out for a couple of days so feel free J**

I pocket the phone and quicken my pace towards Starks Pond. If Stan is drunk I'd say I have 15 minutes before he's trying to skinny dip through the ice. As I reach the entrance to the surrounding forest I feel the phone vibrate again and quickly glance at it to see Kenny's offered a quick thanks, and as I smile and pocket the phone once more I look up and see a very lonely poofball hat hovering over the nearby bench.

I could hear Stan's sobs from here so I approached slowly. Before I made a sound though, Stan had spotted my shadow in front of him and stood to almost crush me in a hug, crying into my shoulder. I slowly extended both arms out and wrapped them around his back, giving them a slow pat and expecting him to pull away soon and apologize for being slightly gay. To my surprise though he felt my arms close in round him and he pulled on me even tighter, wrapping as much of himself around me as possible. This can't be good. This must be something bad. Something to do with why he left so suddenly earlier. I coo into his hair and calmly whisper reassurances to him as I wait for him to collect himself before probing for answers.

We sit down on the bench and I pull him closer, wrapping an arm round his shoulder. He sniffs back tears and clears his throat.

"I got a text from Cartman earlier. He said he saw someone going into Wendy's house through a window and the lights were all off…"

I could hear the pain in his voice and I knew this wasn't going to end well. I had no idea where this was heading though.

"I got round there and couldn't see any doors open or anything so I used the spare key to get in the front door and a light was on upstairs. I thought maybe someone was robbing them or something so I went upstairs and Wendy's bedroom door was open, so I turned the landing light off and burst in there, flicking the light on. I was ready to beat the fuck out of someone and throw them out or something – I don't know. But… Wendy was there. And she's on the bed. And… it's fucking Token…"

Holy Fuck.

"I just froze. I didn't know what to do – I can't even understand what I saw now. Token fucking my girl man!"

He broke again. I sucked back my own tears that had formed for Stan as I again embraced him, trying to calm him.

"I can't believe it. I can't believe she was fucking someone else behind my back, let alone Token! I just, I can't deal with this shit!"

"Dude, don't take this the wrong way but are you sure you saw exactly what you saw?"

"KYLE!"

Yeah I thought that was a bad thing to say, but I needed confirmation that Stan knew what had gone on

"If Token's cock was any further in her it'd have been coming out of her mouth! Fucking slut, what did I do to deserve this?!"

I have nothing left to say. There was nothing I needed to say. I just needed to be there. As we sat there I heard a vibration coming from Stan's pocket. He didn't react at all, just sat there crying, so I reached around him and grabbed the phone from his pocket. I looked at the caller ID and it figures.

"Dude, it's Wendy"

Stan looked up at me, and I didn't need words – I knew that look. I pressed the call reject button and pulled up a blank message. I kept the phone facing Stan so he could see what I'd written.

**Stan M: Wendy, its Kyle. You sick twisted whore how the fuck could you do this to him? I hope Token makes you happy, and by happy I mean I hope he gives you syphilis. Stan wants nothing more to do with you. You two are over.**

I offer the phone to Stan and he reaches out with his left hand. With one quick press Stan hits the send button.

* * *

**Another picture inspired moment that got this chapter going - ****www . tinyurl ccv3j62** - this time from inner-D. Possibly my current all time favourtie style picture (i know this story doesn't have style (and it probably wont other than friendship) but I do love a bit of style). I'm loving the way I can see a picture and write a whole chapter based around one single plot point. Hopefully the way I weave myself from beginning to picture plot point is good enough :) 


	10. The Protector, The Provider

**Kenny's POV**

* * *

The rain has started to come down in fairly heavy sheets now and it's getting harder to see where I'm going. As if I give a fuck! I'm on cloud 9 right about now; I don't think there's anything that could get me down. Although I'm really surprised I managed to keep my shit together in there. Why I didn't run away like normal I'll never know, but I guess I just needed those guys more than I'd thought possible. It never even occurred to me until they were there staring me in the face but for the longest time there's been a massive gaping void in my life, and that's because the two most important guys in my life had been pushed out the door. I start to laugh at myself for being such a mindless fuck. I'm glad I found it funny too otherwise I don't know where I would be at the moment. Probably still in that house trying to explain my life's worthlessness to them while they laughed and tormented my mind.

I feel my phone vibrate against my leg and go to grab it before remembering that this downpour would probably cause explosions to happen should an electronic device decide to venture into it. I'm 2 minutes from home anyway, how about waiting? That sounds like a better idea. I walk up to my front door and push it open with a bit more care than normal; only because I notice the rain has soaked much of the wood frame and covering and the door doesn't actually look stable. I shake my head and body about once inside to try and get rid of excess water, and I squeeze out the hoodie that was round my waist out and leave it on a screw in the wall to dry (come to think of it, why hadn't I put this on when I saw the rain? Dumb shit!) as I reach into my pocket to check my phone.

**Kyle x: Hey dude. If you need it there's a mattress and blanket set up on my floor. Back door keys are under the gnome next to the light. Parents are out for a couple of days so feel free J**

I smile faintly to myself. I never did change his contact information from "Kyle x" back to "Kyle B". I guess I always held onto a small sample of belief. But as I fire off a quick thank you reply a smell makes its way to my nose. God-awful smell like someone had just puked in my face and rubbed it up my nose and all over my tongue. I dry heave but quickly force the feeling back down. No lights are on but I guess dad could have ignored that if he'd stumbled in drunk again, so I decide the best way to find out if I should care or not was to call out.

"Mom? Dad? Anyone here?"

I circle the couch and find my way without tripping to the kitchen. There's a half-eaten bowl of cereal on the table and the chair next to it is over-turned. Strange? I right the chair and continue down the hallway.

"Anyone home?"

"…Ken?"

I heard the small whimpers first before I turned to see Karen walk out of the bathroom. Her hair and pyjamas are covered in vomit, she has a very strained look to her – she's definitely been crying – and she's very protectively clutching her teddy like someone's trying to kill it. Well at least I've explained the smell now.

"You ok sweetie? You not feeling too good?"

I ask as I kneel down in front of her and offer my hands out. As much as I love Karen, she best not want to hug and force that puke anywhere near me. I'm holding enough gags back as it is! She just shyly shakes her head and shuffles nearer to me, but keeps from hugging me right away. She's close enough for me to hold her hands but not close enough to cover me in puke. Which I'm thankful for, as right there in front of me she unloads one hell of a wave onto the carpet mere inches from my feet. THE FUCK!

"It's ok Karen, come on lets get you back to the bathroom"

I hurry her back the other way whilst rubbing her back and reassuring her as much as I can. I get her to the toilet before the next lot comes up and I stroke the back of her head as she sobs and cries in pain and humiliation at throwing up near enough on me.

"I'm sorry Kenny, I didn't mean to…"

"Karen relax and forget about it hun. You're ill and I'm here to take care of you. You do what you need to."

Without thinking I forget about the vomit lacing her hair and grab it all up in a bunch to hold it behind her head and away from her mouth as she finishes up. She sits on the floor by the bowl for a few minutes while I start running a bath. Thankfully the hot water doesn't take too long to come through tonight. Our broken tank must have filled up thanks to the excess rain we're having. I help Karen get undressed and before I put the plug in the bath I keep her standing so I can wash off as much vomit as possible, allowing it the freedom to run down the plughole instead of getting Karen to wash with it still floating around her. I stay and keep her company while she quickly washes, helping her when it gets to her hair, and once she's done and dried off I carry her into my room for snuggles and a bed time story.

She calms down a lot, and it's evident that this is just a bit of a bug. I'm guessing something in that cereal didn't want to stay in her stomach for long and I make a note to stay the fuck away from that shit. But now she's calm and settled I take a moment to look down on her. God if anyone were to ever read a story about the way Karen and I are they'd probably think I was a right pedophile but I guess I see her as a daughter as well as a sister. And as Kevin fucked off two years ago and dad's never been around anyway I feel like I have a duty to her. Plus, she's too fucking adorable man!

She snuggles in as I start reading a new book that I "acquired" from the store a few weeks ago and it doesn't take long for her to fall gently asleep. But… ah shit I can't move now! I try to pull an arm out so that I can carry her back to my room but she groans as I try and moves in closer. Crap. Well now what do I do? I spy a small blanket over by my bed and can just about reach it with my feet, so I slowly pull it closer, then wrap it round Karen and lean my head back.

"Sleep tight Karen, always sleep tight"

XXX

It's been three days and I still haven't seen or heard from mom and dad yet. I guess I'm getting a little worried, if only for my mom, but there's no way I can get in touch with them at all. Karen's got some after school club thing today so I don't have to worry about her till later; maybe I can ask around to see if anyone's heard anything.

I head over to the local bar. The best chance of finding either of them is to start where the alcohol is. And I know they both get free beer here owing to the fact that the bar owner is partial to a shot of meth every now and then. I walk in and am immediately greeted by a fairly crowded front portion – jesus I can't even see the bar from here. There's a girl with arm fulls of empty glasses trying to squeeze through and I sense an opportunity here. Forcing my way through I catch up to her in no time and help part the crowds to help her out whilst taking a stack of glasses. She smiles and winks her thanks at me before escaping out the back of the bar and as no one else is here I decide to follow her through.

As I enter into the back room I see the bar owner with his feet up smoking what smells like fresh weed, and he appears to be watching an episode of Terrance and Philip (what the fuck?). Once he sees me though the joint magically disappears to the floor and he becomes very responsive.

"Hey what you doin' here kid this ain't no place for visitors!"

"Sorry sir, but I was just wondering if you might know where my mom and dad are? The McCormicks?"

"Who wants to know eh?"

"I'm their son, Kenny"

The man racks his brains for a few seconds, then starts laughing in my direction. I'm guessing there's something I should know by the looks of him, and I press him for an answer assuming that much.

"So you know where they are? Care to enlighten me?"

"You really don't know?"

He takes a long drag on the joint he just picked back up. I guess he realises I'm not police and so doesn't care anymore.

"They got locked up about 3 days ago kid. Apparently Stu was trying to push to an unwilling customer, and when he also offered Carol in exchange for some quick cash the customer flashed his badge. Just their luck to get an undercover pig. Well anyways they're still bein held for questioning until the feds get a warrant to search the house and take what they want, and then I'll reckon they'll both be in for a fair stretch."

Fuck sake guys, really? I thought they stopped dealing – well at least stopped dealing to strangers. Fucking typical. Now what am I supposed to do?

"Well that's just great. How am I supposed to support Karen with no job and no welfare coming in? Jesus they really don't give a fuck do they?"

"Hey wait, what – you need a job?"

Suddenly his attention seems a bit more focused on me.

"Kid have you seen the amount of garbage that's tryin' to buy drinks out there? I ain't got no chance of keeping that lot happy by myself! Tell ya what? Pull some drinks, clear some glass and take some cash and I'll swing some your way yeah? Start now if you want"

Well – that's not what was supposed to happen. I come in looking for my parents, and I come out with a job. Goddamn it makes me wonder why my dad had such a "hard time" finding work. Oh no I remember now, because he's a lazy no-good wanker. I don't really have a choice at the moment. I have no idea what I'm doing but I've seen people pull pints before, and i've never seen people go for the spirits in here so how hard can it be. I step out from the room and make my way to the front of the bar

"What'll it be?"


	11. Handbags and Gladrags

**Kenny's POV**

* * *

It's fairly quiet tonight. I guess this is the one bar that doesn't get busy on a Saturday. Probably because it's a bit out of the way and people don't collect welfare until tomorrow. Goddamn worthless fucks. If it weren't for the fact that I'm getting money for their waste of life then I'd be out of here in a flash.

"Hey Doug"

I pipe up before he disappears into the back room again and he seems coherent enough to talk to at the moment

"I need to talk to you about working here from now if that's ok?"

"What? Not doin it for ya anymore?"

"No not that, it's just I've missed a whole week at school to learn everything I need to to get the job done, and this place is mostly empty during the day anyway. I need to get back to school, so could I get evening work instead of day work from now?"

Doug looks at me with a small smirk on his face. It feels like he's about to screw me over royally.

"I'm glad you said that kid. Glad you're putting school before work. Listen I'll give you Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings. If you wanna work a weekend at some point then show up and feel free. I know you gotta look out for your sister too so get her sorted, then go to school, then come to work ok?"

I smile at him and bow my head, a little out of blushing slightly. It's nice to know he cares enough to also know I'd want to put Karen before everything too. I accept his offer and disappear out the back to change quickly before heading home, and as I head for the front door Doug calls out to me again.

"Hey! Aint you forgetting something?"

He waves a brown envelope at me and I look a little confused. Drugs? Surely not after what happened to my parents?

"Unless of course, you don't wanna get paid for this?"

Ah! Damn straight, I get money for this shit now! I half run back over to him and try to snatch it out of his hand with as much politeness and dignity as I can. He laughs and ruffles my hair before pushing me back towards the door, and I head out into the cold night with a great sense of achievement. I've helped someone out all week and they've given me a fat load of cash for it. This is what it's all about! I quickly slide the envelope and nearly fall over my own feet when I catch a glimpse of the notes. All 20s and I'd say nearly 30 of them. SHIT! I've never seen this amount of money in my life, let alone held it or... owned it! I literally sprint all the way home and burst into the door. Karen's sitting on the sofa and gives me a look that screams "crazy" at me.

"You free tomorrow Karen?"

She looks up at me with a puzzled look but nods back out of curiosity.

"Good. We're going shopping!"

I softly toss the envelope her way and it lands on her lap. Carefully opening it, she glances in and nearly deafens me with her gleeful scream. Leaving the envelope on the couch she dives into my arms, nearly crying with happiness.

"Thank you Kenny! Thank you so much!"

"We gotta look good for going back to school on Monday now don't we?"

I wipe a solitary tear from her face and from mine.

**Kyles POV**

I'm always nervous now, waiting at the front of the school with Stan. We just stand and chat with a few other people – maybe Craig and Tweek, sometimes Butters stays for a while too. But I can never concentrate on them. Never try to either. Ever since Kenny opened up to us I've been standing at the front of the school like a little lost puppy, waiting for him to walk up to us and be like old times. But for the past week its gone back to how it was. We've not seen him – hell no one has – since he left my house. I haven't had a text back from him, or a phone call. It's almost like he's died and I can't stand it. I'm such a girl at the moment as well – looking around at every new person that comes into view like a 5th grader with a damn crush or something. I can't help it though. I keep holding on to a hope that it'll be him.

"Come on dude. Today's not the day and the bell has just gone, we need to get to homegroup."

Stan kept a comforting smile there. He knew I was upset about Kenny disappearing on us again, but he had enough logic left in him to know we had to carry on as normal. Hell I wish I could take a leaf from his book. I know that when we get to homegroup he has to look at Token and Wendy, and I know from previous experience that that must rip him a new one every single time. He's too proud to show it, but I know if I wasn't the one down at the moment then he'd crawl right back into depression again. And this close to mid-terms he can't afford that at all.

I take one last look out at the street before admitting defeat and turn towards Stan.

"Ok dude, let's go."

I start to walk towards the open door but I notice Stan hasn't moved. And he's... smiling. Beaming, in fact. What's got him so happy all of a sudden? I shoot him a confused look and he nods behind me. Right then I know... and turn around.

New black and white chequered converse. Black baggy jeans with no ripped knees. A white t-shirt with a left for dead logo embellished across it. Baggy black hoodie with orange stripes down each arm. Walking hand in hand with a little girl with a bright red hair ribbon in, flowing flowery dress and a small pink backpack. I stare in amazement.

"Hey guys, how's the week been?"

Kenny beamed at us both, standing proud and tall with Karen by his side. I couldn't speak. Couldn't take my eyes off him at all. Neither could Stan. We all just stood there in comfortable silence, everyone knowing what was being communicated without words. Stan took the lead and embraced Kenny with a big hug and pats on the back.

"Welcome back dude!"

**Kenny's POV**

So far so good. I was expecting school to be slightly more interesting and involving now, but I never expected pretty much the whole year to be glad that I was there for once. Craig, Token, Clyde, Tweek, Butters, Jimmy. Everyone welcomed me back with enthusiasm and energy, and it gave me such a sense of belonging. For once, I was involved. I was the star, the main attraction.

I didn't get tired of answering questions all day. What's with the clothes? Where did I get the money? Where had I been? What went down with me, Stan and Kyle? I answered anything and everything. Obviously I left out some of the more intimate details, but everyone got the idea and everyone was genuinely happy for me.

I looked over towards the swings during lunch and noticed Karen with a group of 4 girls. All were laughing and playing, exchanging paper models and pictures and running around like it was supposed to be. I've never seen Karen with any other students before, and to see her playing with friends made everything worth it. Kyle noticed it too – he always picks up on everything – and he moved in closer to whisper to me.

"She'll never thank you enough for what you've done for her Ken. But I can see she doesn't have to either. I'm so glad you've turned this around. Thanks for coming back to us dude."

His warm smile made my heart skip a beat, and I managed to fake scratching my head before the blush became too visible. I laughed it off and turned back to him.

"Hey I was thinking. Well, see I've been really busy the last week and I think I need some time to chill out with a beer and a good friend. If you're free tonight, do you fancy coming over?"

I thought it was a long shot but worth a try. Kyle hasn't been in my house for years. And not just because of what happened between us all. In fact, Kyle, Stan and even Cartman haven't been in my house since we all got chickenpox. But I needed some time away from everyone with just Kyle. I needed to see if other bridges could be rebuilt.

Kyle gave it some thought... for 3 seconds.

"Yeah dude. That's sounds cool."

Damn his smile infects my whole body. I wish I could stare at it for eternity. No such luck as the school bell invades my moment once again.

Finally school is over. Time to give some more answers and get some of my own. I find Kyle waiting outside with Stan and I offer them a wave before looking back down the hallway for Karen.

"Hey Kenny. Is it ok if I go round Jessica's afterschool?"

"Absolutely Karen! Have a good time. You got my number if you need anything."

This is fantastic! Not only am I happy for Karen to get an invite to a friend's house, but this also means I'm completely alone. All night. With Kyle. I move towards the guys and offer Stan a wave as he heads out towards the bus, leaving us to each other.

"So, what do you wanna do tonight?"

"Well, I work at a local bar now, so I got a few free packs of beer at home. I think I'd like to tell you what was up with last week, and if it's alright, I'd like to clear a few other things up too?"

I hope my direct statements don't scare him. There's no point in me offering tv or video games as I don't have either, so at the moment the truth is the best option. Kyle just smiles and takes my hand in his. I'm not gonna lie, there is definitely pressure building up in my pants from that.

As we head down the steps I hear a familiar voice behind us. A voice I haven't heard since that day.

"Ah look at the fags heading off to fagland together. At least the Jew can save the money you don't have po' boy!"

I turn around and face Cartman. He's not changed one bit since that day. Not in physical appearance or in personality. I let go of Kyle's hand and walk up to him, pushing myself as tall as I can to emphasise the advantage I still hold over him. To my surprise though, he looks ever so slightly scared, and slumps down a bit as I draw closer. I grit my teeth and can feel my fists clenching as I get closer and my mind races with what I'm about to do. I never thought this would happen in a million years.

"Cartman..."

I began surprisingly softly. He just blankly stared at me.

"...I'm sorry Cartman. I'm sorry what happened on that day. Maybe one day you'll get to know and understand why, but for now just know that I never meant to hurt you or anyone else, and every day I regret what happened. I still think of you as a friend Cartman, and I hope one day you can repay that thought towards me."

Before I finish completely I take a quick breath and extend my right hand as a gesture. I'm hoping he gets the message, even if only in the most simple terms. Thankfully, Cartman cracks a small smile before extending his own hand and taking mine. We briefly shake before he pipes up. A larger smile forms on his face as he starts.

"Welcome back you poor piece of shit"

"Glad to be back you blood-belching vagina!"


	12. Finding Lost Paths

**Thanks to all that are still reading. Hopefully you're all still enjoying the story. If not i can take both sides of the coin and any tips, tricks or criticisms you may have please feel free to post them. I'd love to get some honest opinions on what you think of this so far. This chapter i think I wrote it a bit differently in terms of description and dialog and stuff like that, but i just wrote what I saw in my head and how i saw things happening. hope its good )**

**Kyle's POV**

* * *

I'm still a bit confused as to why Kenny is cool with us going to his house. I don't think anyone in school has been to his since 3rd grade; it's just something that's kind of an unwritten rule. Even stranger is why I agreed to it. I mean sure spending time with Kenny can't be anything but a good thing, but it's just – well you know – the benefit of heating and hot water, TV, lights; silly things like that that would have made my house a better option. Still, Kenny seemed very upbeat and suggested his before I even said hello. Maybe he wants my help with something there – I'd laugh like crazy if I walked in and he handed me a paintbrush or something! God that'd be an icebreaker. Why am I even thinking of these things? What a random thought to have.

We walk most of the way in comfortable silence, every now and then Kenny would pipe in with a quick anecdote or a story from the day that we could both join in and maybe laugh about or discuss for a few seconds. For the most part though I think we just enjoyed each other. I know I sure as hell did. I know Stan's my super best friend and all, but there is a small part of me that can only be filled by Kenny, and will only ever be. I sneak a quick glance his way and he's looking off to the side, allowing me a few precious seconds to absorb him in full before I smile widely to myself and focus ahead of me again.

"Kyle, you okay?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and return his glance. He didn't look concerned as his question may have implied – actually, he wore the same grin I had just fashioned, but in a more warm natured way. He looked as if he were about to chuckle as I realise why he'd asked. Flushed cheeks and a massive grin kind of gave things away.

"I just… Ken I'm really happy at the moment. I'm happy things seem to be working out now. I've been waiting so long for a moment like this. I guess I just can't help but smile."

As I said the last words I let the smile creep back to its original location, and Kenny's widened as he reached out an arm and slumped it round my shoulder – in a very "we're friends" kind of way. We were just a couple of dudes hanging out after all. Yet he used the crook of his elbow to pull my head into the crook of his neck and I replied by wrapping my free arm around his lower back.

"That's what I like to hear. Thanks man"

As we approached his house I was surprised to see a fairly clear front lawn, and also a door that wasn't loose on the hinges. I knew enough to know that it was still Kenny's house though; a loose door doesn't transport me to a "it looks like a different house" kind of mentality. To my surprise as well as we approached the door, Kenny reached into his pocket and pulled out a door key. Now I am confused, Kenny's door hasn't locked since I've known him! I try and hide my slight surprise but even without looking he can sense my confusion, and laughs it off.

"Don't look so shocked dude. It's clear we have a lot to catch up on"

No shit

As I enter the first thing that hit's me is… summer flowers? Wait, now I'm definitely in the wrong house. This should smell like piss, alcohol and cigarettes, not freshly picked roses or some shit like that. In fact, I almost rub my eyes to check I'm not dreaming as I scan round the front room. No longer were there empty beer cans, stained carpets or broken furniture littering the room. No more was wallpaper hanging off, or ceilings caving in. The TV in the corner had a proper stand, and a good signal. The windows were clean and decorated with curtains, not ripped sheets. I stood speechless and wide-eyed as Kenny casually strolled over and kissed his sister's head before disappearing into the kitchen.

"Hi Kyle!"

Karen looked my way and offered a big smile and a wave. I snapped out of it and offer a warm smile back her way as I walk over and sit next to her. It's been five years but she hasn't forgotten how quickly we became close when I always hung around her brother. She saw it as friendship though; she never knew we were more than that. And Stan and I always treated her like our sister as well. She acknowledges the past by snuggling closer to me to watch TV and I smile as I mimic her brother by kissing the top of her head.

"Hey Karen, you ok?"

She nods and hums a yes my way just as Kenny walks in with the biggest grin yet.

"Aw look at you two… so precious!"

Sarcastic bastard

"Go wash your hands Karen, mom says dinners nearly ready"

I stare at Kenny in yet more disbelief as Karen wanders into the Kitchen and he wanders over to the couch whilst holding out a beer.

"What?"

He scans my face as I take the bottle and laughs as I almost choke on the mouthful that I throw back too quickly. I wipe the drips from my chin and join the laughter before speaking.

"Right, so are you going to tell me when you're moving back into your house then? This must be temporary while yours get fumigated again or something!"

Kenny pouts jokingly and lowers his head as he starts to walk away but I grab out for his wrist and pull him back to face me.

"Come on, what is all this? I've never seen your house looking like this?! How have you got all this stuff done?"

Kenny's mom calls out from the kitchen and we both look that way before Kenny tilts his head, offering me up and over to the table first.

"Seriously Ken… your mom cooks now too? I must be in a dream. I'm gonna get to the table and your mom is gonna have like three heads or something, and I'll find out that I'm for dinner!"

"I'll explain as we eat Kyle. Food first though. Food, then beer, then answers deal?"

I can't argue with that. I'm starving!

X X X

"That was awesome Mrs. McCormick, thanks!"

"Oh Kyle you know you call me Carol now don'cha? It's been a while but I'm sure you remember that?"

I offer up a smile and begin to help clear the plates away before Karen stops me and takes the plate herself to the sink. Carol opens the back door as Kenny lights a cigarette and leans back in his chair. I take another look around and things still aren't sinking in. Karen and Carol are doing the dishes, Kenny's chillaxing with a cigarette, I'm not on the lookout for cockroaches, Kenny's dad is… wait? Kenny's dad?

"So, you gonna fill me in?"

Kenny takes another long drag on his cigarette as I cross my arms and wait for an answer. When I don't get one I note my observations in hope that it gets the ball rolling.

"I mean apart from the obvious changes around the house the only other difference I've noticed is that your dad isn't around and you're all getting along like a normal family. So… you wanted to talk Ken, go ahead"

Another drag and Kenny looks in his mom's direction. I hadn't noticed but she'd turned around and was looking at me.

"Go ahead Ken. If you two are gonna be like before then he needs to know"

I was taken aback by Carol's statement but I tried not to let it show. Before? I didn't think our parents really knew anything about "before". But then I suppose that Kenny was the most affected by it. He outcast himself, whereas we were able to carry on as normal. He nodded and crushed the cigarette out before lighting another one.

"3 weeks ago mom and dad were in jail Kyle. Dad was pushing to a new customer he'd never seen or heard of before; desperate for money he didn't do usual check-ups. When the guy didn't offer him the right price dad offered mom into the deal. The guy accepted, and then flashed his badge and the rest is history. Dad got 18 months, but luckily the judge saw that mom wasn't pushing or inciting so let her of on a 6 month suspended sentence with compulsory rehab for a year. I didn't know until 3 days after when I went looking for them at the local bar. The guy who ran it gave me the story, then gave me a job!"

He paused to take another drag, at which point Carol had joined us back at the table and had lit one herself. Karen had disappeared back into the living room. She didn't want to get involved in this conversation.

"Shit Ken, that's a fair bit of activity for a couple of days!"

I had to try and laugh it off. The thought of Kenny having no-one actually scared me quite a bit, especially since we'd kinda laid everything to rest and he knew Stan and I were still there for him.

"Well, you know. Shit happens I suppose. But it was awesome man. I actually had a job! Still have a job! That's why I was off that week after we had that afternoon at Stan's. I'd been working pretty much full time before managing to cut my hours back so I could get back to school. That money is the clothes you see before you, the clothes on Karen. The food on this table. The paint on the walls. The new door, the carpets. That money gave us all a lifeline, and still does. But I'm not the only one. Mom got a job at the mini-mart. Only part time tills and shelves and stuff. But between us we can easily manage the basics for the time being. And what with no dad to drink it all away there's actually some left over after everything else is done."

Kenny had a matter of fact look to him, and Carol just sat there smiling, drinking from a solid mug (although I couldn't be sure it wasn't alcohol) and I shifted my gaze between both of them. Not knowing what to say I kept my sentences fairly short.

"Wow. Well, dude that's great. I'm really happy you've been able to sort things out. And I'm happy for you too Mrs. McC… um Carol."

She gave a quick "I told you not to call me McCormick" look and followed it quickly with a smile.

"Now Kenny you know my feelings already, but I'll tell you too Kyle. You are welcome here anytime. Kenny told me the important parts of what's gone on and that's your problem. I ain't got a problem to sort with you so we don't need to worry about that ok?"

I smiled and nodded thanks her way. Expecting that to be the end of the evening I mentally prepared myself to up and walk home. Carol hadn't finished yet though, and what she came out with knocked me sideways.

"I know it's a little early for this kind of thing too but I aint one to mince about, and if you two decide you wanna get back together at some point well that's fine too."

I swear I was about to lose some teeth with the impact my lower jaw made with the floor. Kenny laughed at my overly surprised look and Carol just shrugged her shoulders.

"Well you too couldn't stop looking at each other whenever you were around, and I may not be a straight A student, but I know what love looks like. It weren't hard to tell what there was between you two."

After about an hour of random talk and a few laughs with the family, I noticed the time and asked Kenny to walk home with me. He needed air anyway and took two seconds to grab his coat and the door for me. I thanked Carol for dinner, and for everything really, and she assured me again of the offer of an open house should I ever need it. Karen ran over to give me a goodbye hug and we set off into the light snow shower towards my house.

"Kyle can I ask you a serious question?"

I looked his way but didn't answer either way.

"Well, more can I give you something to think about? I understand you won't be able to answer for a while and that's cool…"

"What Kenny?"

"Do you think… what my mom said earlier… do you think there ever could be a… you and me… again?"

I couldn't look at him. My face flushed as he said you and me but it was hidden by the side flap of my Ushanka thank god. I kept my pace steady and tried to control my breathing before I answered.

"Well, yeah you're right, I can't give you an answer now, and it's way too early to think about that. But I guess it's not an impossibility. I mean there's no reason why not, given some time at least I think we could grow back to that point. Right now though I have no idea. I don't know where things are going to go from here on out. I guess we'll have to take each day as it comes."

He bowed his head slightly as I finished but I didn't want to make eye contact so I strained my eyes as far to the side as possible to try and see his expression. From what I decided I could see it looked like he was in thought. We turned the corner to my street and I could see my house on the other side, all the front lights on full blast. Jesus I guess we want to let people know we're home. I started to cross the street but Kenny didn't follow. I turned back to look at him and he stared at my house. Almost like he was deep in a memory.

"I never thought I'd be here again. Especially with you by my side."

He bowed his head again and sniffed. Wiping his cheek quickly he brought his gaze back to me and I walked back towards him, stopping about a foot away from him.

"Kyle this may not work but I want to try something. Something I've been meaning to… no, just something I've wanted to try for a while now. Would you mind if I did?"

He moved closer to me as he said it and it was obvious what he wanted to try. I gave the game up the moment he moved closer. I couldn't stop my eyes shifting from his eyes to his lips and back again. I smiled and chucked slightly when I saw his eyes do the same. I didn't have to say anything and neither did he. We both knew what the other wanted and we both knew it was going to happen. Without another word, another breath, another blink Kenny lifted his hand to my cheek and brought me gently into him until our lips touched. Softly and intimately, as if it were our first kiss.

Kenny pulled away slowly and took a silent breath. He started to speak but I cut him off, pushing forward and forcing my lips back onto his. He pushed back into me and I exploded inside as I wrapped my arms up around his back and he replied by pushing his hands up into my hair. We broke for air momentarily and I buried my face into his neck, keeping a tight grip in our hug as I started to cry.

"I missed you so much Kenny. So fucking much!"

"I missed you too Kyle. I'm so sorry for everything."

We eventually got back to my house after what seemed like hours on the corner of the street. I offered Kenny inside to warm up a bit before walking home. Looking at the clock though I thought it might be better to ask mom if he could stay the night. We'll see what mood she's in first. She looked up from her position on the sofa and offered a kind greeting as we hung her coats up.

"Hello bubbulah how was your day? Oh Kenny dear how nice to see you! It's been a while how are you doing?"

Good start, she seems to be happy. Maybe after some idle chat I can slip in a part about Kenny staying here. Just as Kenny started talking to mom about his job, Ike appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Hey Kyle, is that Stan with you? Can you two help me move my room about?"

"It's not Stan Ike, it's Kenny…"

Ike's face lit up. He bounded down the stairs to see if I was telling the truth, and before Kenny could turn and say anything, Ike smothered him with a massive hug. Karen and Ike were very much the same in that respect. And also because of their similar age it gave them both someone to fool around with whenever Kenny and I would take them out, or if we all hung in a group sometimes. Besides that, I think Ike just saw Kenny as the big loud playful brother that he never got from me, which did get to me sometimes, knowing I wasn't what Ike wanted in a brother, but Ike soon grew out of it and as Ike got older, we grew closer.

"Oh my god Kenny! You're back, you're back! Yeah!"

Ike was seriously high right now. What kind of kid gets this excited over a friend!

"Ah awesome, are you guys like back together again now then?"

"What?!"

Me and mom both overreacted at that, and mom shot me a slight death stare, Kenny laughed it off though and stood back up from the hug to ruffle Ike's hair.

"Yeah we're friends again Ike. We just needed to say sorry to each other"

I looked at Kenny and he shot me a sly wink which earned him a smile.

"Goodness Ike you have to choose your words more carefully. For a minute there it sounded like you were saying Kyle and Kenny were a couple!"

Mom brushed off Ike's naivety and I breathed a small sigh of relief. That's one bullet dodged. I need to talk to Ike before he goes down that road again.

"Yeah mom that's what I meant! That's why I said it, I want Kenny and Kyle to be like they were before, holding hands and kissing and being really happy!"

Gun reloaded. Bullet fired. Headshot.

Mom hit the roof.


	13. Fuel

**The last time I tried to write a story I got about 2 pages in, re-read it and thought it was so shit I immediately deleted it. I can't believe I'm at nearly 30,000 words and still going strong! Hopefully you're all still enjoying the story as much as I'm writing it. I hope you get the same images in your mind as I am **

**Thanks to everyone for getting me nearly 800 views! and special thanks to the reviewers, I know its only small compared to other stories that have shit loads of reviews, but reading whats there really does bring a smile to my face :)**

**Stans POV**

* * *

_There is darkness all around me. Deep, piercing black, I cannot breathe. My heart has been raped. I miss you so much babe. Want to hold you in my arms again, girl…_

I have to laugh reading back through that. It's stupid looking back on a 9 year old turning goth because his "girlfriend" left him. What a fucking pussy. The poem seems too ironic now though, she's gone and she's not coming back. The difference is I don't want her now. I can't believe she'd do this to me! I know we have our share of problems but you don't just run off to bed with someone else do you? I don't know, maybe you do in this town, this state, this country. It just doesn't seem right.

I've got the whole box in front of me on the bed, casting the poem aside I reach down into it for the next item and pull out a picture of me and Wendy skating at Stark's Pond. Nothing but smiles all through the picture. Every face plastered with one and there's not a care in the world. I turn the picture over and place it face down next to me. I can't even look at her, even in a picture.

I grab a handful of written notes on a mixture of paper, tissue and card. All letters from her. We used to pass them back and forth, proper soppy loved up notes about how we "love each other to the moon and back" and how we'd "be together for infinity". Makes me wonder what the point of all that was.

The song on my ipod changes to Spare Me The Details by Offspring. How fucking convenient. Although I still give it a puzzled look – I thought I'd put it on "Goth Mix" not just random but oh well. I give myself a little chuckle and pick the picture back up, eager to look at it as I sing along to the song…

_And I really don't wanna hear  
About her feet all up in the air_

And well I'm not the one who acted like a hoe  
Why must I be the one who has to know?  
I'm not the one who messed up big time  
So spare me the details if you don't mind…

Too appropriate. I place everything back in the box and close the lid before walking over to shut my curtains. As I start to draw them closed though I see Kenny walking past; he appears fairly deep in thought. I watch him for a while and just as he passes my house he offers a gaze my way. I give him a little wave and as he turns and walks nearer to the house I open the window and lean out slightly.

"Hey Rapunzel, you letting your hair down for me?"

Cheeky bastard. It brought a smile to my face at least.

"No way dude, I'm waiting for something worth my while to walk by…"

He lets out a large single chuckle before taking a drag on his cigarette .

"What are you up to, out and about on this fine evening?"

"Long story dude. You up for a walk at all?"

"Two minutes dude"

I dart back inside and grab my backpack up. Without thinking I stuff the box of memories in there along with a few snack bars and soda cans and pull my coat loosely round myself as I make my way back to the window. I grab on to the piece of string attached to the frame of my window and as I jump down I use it to close the window behind me. Oh yeah – I'm a pro at this now. Ever since the first time I did this and left my window open, I had to sleep in my coat when I got back that night! I walk over to where Kenny is standing and he offers me a puff which I decline before we both head out into the road and start walking towards the outskirts.

"So… feel free to start your epic tale? Dunno how long you plan to be out tonight but it's fucking freezing!"

"Well. Where to begin?"

"I guess the best place is probably at the beginning?"

He gives me a friendly punch in the arm and I feign injury.

"Well I don't know if you'd guessed as much yet but Kyle and I are kind of on the right track"

"He's finally taken my advice then?"

Kenny gave me a puzzled look and I smiled in his direction

"Dude, I've been pushing him to talk to you ever since we talked at mine. In fact, I'd been pushing him to talk since Cartman got out the hospital 5 years ago! He's a pussy when it comes to that sort of thing, but it's clear he lost more than a friend when he didn't chase you down."

Kenny looked somewhat shocked at the revelation that we actually may have still cared during his absence. I ruffled his hair in a playful gesture and he squirmed out from my touch.

"In that case, I guess I'd have to thank you. Although I think it was me who made the first main move. I invited him round remember?"

"Yeah true, but I was the one who asked him to get my books out of his locker when a certain someone was playing in the music room."

I winked at Kenny, even though I didn't have a great deal to do with anything I still liked to pretend I was somehow the mastermind behind everything.

"To be honest, it was a welcome distraction from some shit I was dealing with, so I was happy to try and help you two along."

"Stan, you're always going through "shit" and you always come to Kyle to sort it, what was different this time?"

"Well… Wendy…"

Kenny noticeably sighed and scoffed slightly at hearing her name. There was always something going wrong with Wendy and I. This was different though. And looking back on it, it was clear why things went to shit.

"It's different this time though dude. Honestly. The last few months we've just been really – meh with each other. Just kinda like, yeah we're together and the status is great, the sex is great, the hanging out all night every night isn't though."

I pause for breath and Kenny thoughtfully took a drag on his cigarette instead of interrupting.

"The truth is, now I know it was painfully clear why she didn't want me to hang around after sex, or didn't want me round a lot of evenings because of "coursework". Found out that she's been fucking Token…"

Kenny coughed, mid-drag was probably not the best time to blurt that out, and dropped his cigarette into the snow.

"What the FUCK dude, how did you find that out?"

"Walked in on them. Long story…"

I explain the whole story to Kenny; from Cartman's text to infiltrating with an umbrella. Kenny waited patiently for me to finish before offering a hand on my back for comfort. I smiled his way but I think he could see I was holding back tears as he pulled me in closer to hug me as well walked. He expressed an unwillingness to tell his story in order to not make me feel worse but I coaxed it out of him and was so glad to hear it. Maybe I'd done something right here by helping Kyle. Kenny told me about Ike and Kyle's mom too and I couldn't help but laugh. We both did.

"And that's why I'm out walking. I had to ninja step out of her way before I lost my head, Kyle tried to form a human barrier and was able to subdue the stupid Rhino until I was clear of the door and I didn't look back. I feel kinda bad for leaving Kyle to deal with the wrath but hey – He knows what to do with her, I don't!"

We took a seat on a nearby bench and stretched out a bit. Kenny decided that now was the time to fully rest and laid length ways on the bench with his head in my lap. I took no notice and instead just started stroking his hair, listening to the next chapter of his epic tale. I don't think I stopped smiling at all whilst he explained about his and his mom's jobs, and how the family in general were doing. All the stuff he'd done to the house and to help out – man he's really grown into responsibility. It makes me jealous actually. He has such a hold on his life now; he's been through so much shit and he's just dealt with it. Here I am meanwhile wallowing in sorrow because my girlfriend's cheated on me and I have no idea what to do with myself. To be fair, most people are right; I am a fucking pussy.

I shuffle through my bag and pull out two snack bars, offering one to Kenny who, to my surprise, declines. I hold back a surprised sarcastic comment and shrug it off. As I eat I go back to the bag and pull out the box. I give a small sigh and Kenny's eyes flick back to meet my gaze, a soft smile broadens across his cheeks.

"Can I borrow your lighter Ken?"

Without thinking he pulls it out of his pocket and offers it up. I take it from him and fire the flame up, bringing it down close to the edge of the box. Kenny quickly realises what I'm doing and sits up sharply to save his hair the same fate as this box. He remains silent but gives me a slightly crazed "what the fuck" face.

"Wendy"

He still looks confused.

"This box has shit loads of stuff of me and Wendy. I can't deal with it anymore, so it's going. Just like our relationship really – up in flames"

As the box catches I angle it up to engulf the whole thing in flames, leaving enough unburned to allow me to set it on the ground to continue burning. As much as I want this, it still kills me to have to cut this out of my life, and I let a tear flow down my cheek. The last tear I'm going to cry for that bitch.

Kenny again reaches out and wraps an arm around my shoulder. I swallow down more tears and let him pull me into him, letting him do the hugging for now. I don't think I have much energy left for it.

"You ok champ?"

Kenny's warmness was infectious, and it gave me a new sense of being from then. Of course everything was ok. We were back.

"Ken. It's better. The gangs back together. You're back, Kyle's back. We can all move on together, the way thing should have been. You know, even with Wendy gone, I'm better. This is better. This moment right here. This makes our friendship worth it. I hope it doesn't end again..."

We stayed on the bench watching the last of the photos burn to unrecognisable ashes before standing up and walking back towards the town centre. We walked in comfortable silence. There was nothing else to be said, and we both knew that nothing needed to be said. We reached the crossroads by the tracks and I turned to give Kenny one last hug before we went our separate ways.

"Thanks for tonight Kenny. I really needed that"

He doesn't say anything, but gives me a quick wink as he pulls away

"See you tomorrow dude."

"See you tomorrow."

I start off towards my house with my hands buried deep in my pockets. I smiled to myself as I turned back round and watch Kenny walked back over the tracks. It's strange, from behind it doesn't look like Kenny. The man walking away is stood straight, head held high and a noticeable confidence in his stride. In that moment I'm filled with a confidence myself.

We got through this together, and nothing is gonna tear us apart again.


	14. Searching for Perfection

**Ok I don't think this chapter is anywhere close to the others, and it was a struggle to write past the first few paragraphs. I kept re-reading it and thought it was utter shit. Best press on though. Ideas have gone a bit stagnant, and I think writers block set in for a few days**

**I hope this chapter makes sense, satisfies and flows well. Feel free to let me know if this is dog crap**

**Kenny's POV**

* * *

It's strange how 6 months can make such a difference in life. It's funny how time alters as you get older too. When we were 9, 6 months seemed like a lifetime away, but now the school year has whittled down to one final month. 30 days that will be forever etched in most people's memories. For a lot of people this is the period of time where you look back and realise that you really took your school years for granted. For me this was definitely not the case. I was wrestling with two emotions. On one hand I was on an incredible high, having the best time ever with three great friends (yes I now include Cartman on this list!). On the other hand I was filled with a deep regret that I was in part to blame for not having an extra 5 years of this feeling.

I walked into the lunch room after an hour of fundamental sciences and quickly surveyed my options. The lunch line was out the door so I scrapped that idea before scanning round and finding the familiar green ushanka sitting at our regular spot. Next to that was a light blue hat with a (now slightly blackened) yellow poofball, and judging on the movement from each, I could tell arrow was in progress. Chuckling to myself I walked over and stood over them both for a good 5 minutes before Stan pointed out my presence.

Kyle stood and gave me a hug whilst offering me his seat as previous. I told him I was ok to stand but he shot me a look that screamed "I don't want to sit next to a racist, anti-semetic, Nazi-inspired, cocksucking motherfucker" so I grabbed a handful of fries off his plate and slopped into the seat. Cartman started laughing as Kyle squeezed himself onto the end next to me and rested his hand on my thigh. I smirked in his direction, trying to almost mentally will that hand to go a little higher.

"Cartman… why are you such a fucking dick all the time?"

I talk between bursts of chewing. I've always loved the canteen food here, and free food always tastes better.

"Protecting your anal investment are we po' boy?"

I think Cartman's the only person who doesn't know that if you laugh at your own jokes, they're generally not funny. Stan kicked his shin under the table and I playfully smacked him round the back of the head.

"Eh?! What the fuck guys seriously? Look you know I'm only joking with all this crap yeah? I love you guys too and we all know you and the world love me so there's no harm done right?"

He gave us all the biggest puppy dog eyes and I knew what was coming. Stan looked at me and I could see he was struggling, and I felt Kyle's hand grip tighter to my leg. In a matter of minutes all four of us burst into laughter. In truth, he was spot on too. He and Kyle always argued and fought over the usual things, but that was out of habit and possibly a sweet nostalgia of our 4th grade days. I actually think Kyle really liked it now.

Cartman had gone through such an immense change a few years ago. His mom got married to a real fucking douche and Cartman despised him more than Hitler despised the Jews. This guy was a typical bad stepdad, all the usual things like being nice when Liane was around then being a controlling, uncaring heartless bastard when she wasn't. For a while we actually thought Cartman was going to snap and kill them both – he was eating way to much chilli at the time – but he pulled through and we all noticed that the insults had stopped for a while. We noticed Cartman's clothes weren't looking too fresh, he wasn't as outspoken and he definitely sheltered himself from life for a while. Even when I wasn't in the group I noticed it. I noticed everything really, and it was only when I saw Kyle and Stan actually looking for him one day that I knew something was serious. I'd heard on the low down that Cartman's mom had been taken to hospital, and remembering how close we were when I was friends with her son, I paid her a visit. She was a mess – bruises everywhere, fractured jaw, black eye, couple of cracked ribs and when I looked at the doctors notes closer I swore I could make out the words "possible rape victim" Now Cartman's mom is a dirty slut as we know but… Jesus.

As far as I was aware, Cartman was no longer living with her. He'd spent a few months sleeping rough or camping on a couch in someone's house, but eventually he went back to his house and found it empty, cold and unlived in. Turns out that Liane forgave whatever cunt did that to her and ran off to live with him in L.A somewhere. I also know for a fact that when Cartman found this out he spent the whole day crying.

To hear him go back to old insults and embracing life as it was before shit got heavy is both sweet and painful. He's happy at least but he's not moving forward. He's dangerously stuck in time and although he's matured and understands things better I don't think he'll fully embrace life beyond school. I have to admit that even being a fat racist bastard, I'm worried for him.

Finally the end of the day comes and I'm anxious to get myself out of here and fast. It's two days before Kyle's birthday and not only do I have nothing for him yet, but we're also a day away from a 3 day weekend that will consist of a lot of partying.

"Hey Ken, you coming over tonight? Stan's got a new game and we've got to try it out!"

For some reason, of all the names Kyle could call me, I love Ken the most. I think it's just because it fits his voice oh so perfectly. Or maybe I'm just being gay? Well… yeah I guess that's a given!

"I might be able to pop round later Ky, but I still have a bit of shopping to do. There's a couple of things happening this weekend which I think are fairly important but I can't remember so I need to get some generic items just in case."

I flip the tip of my tongue out and try to look as cheeky as possible, which kind of works but Kyle just pulls me in for a quick kiss and crushes me in a hug before heading off.

"You have a limit though ok? 5 dollars, nothing more!"

Trying to be cheeky yourself are you? Try this one…

"That's cool. Some lube and a condom shouldn't be more than 5. Awesome!"

I watch his jaw literally hit the floor and his eyes overtake the size of his face. Stan almost spews everywhere with the sudden outburst of laughter, which only deepens when Kyle's red face turns to meet his.

"Bastard!"

Kyle mutters it under his breath as he pulls Stan away but I saw the grin on his face there, and I know now that there's one thing he want's for his birthday. Now to find something that he can actually open…

Standing in the middle of the Denver Mall doesn't really help my brain processes at the moment. I literally have no idea what Kyle might like for his birthday. I'd text Stan and Ike and they'd both given me some ideas, but nothing that I thought would be really special.

"Pop tarts aren't available in here Kinney, the ghetto is that'a way!"

"You do know that the upper floor of this mall has a weight restriction don't you? You're going to kill us all!"

"It's the least I can do for this world – getting rid of the hippies the best way I know"

"Getting rid of the cheesy poofs stuck in your 3 chins would help more though"

"But they're like a lucky charm. Plus girls like to eat after they get fucked!"

Amazing how we can have this conversation without even looking at each other. It just all rolls off the tongue so easily and effortlessly, like a well scripted movie – even an expertly choreographed dance. We both looked at each other and started laughing again. To be honest I'd always liked Cartman. Yes when we were younger he was a giant dick to everyone, especially Kyle, and I never appreciated the things he'd come out with. But underneath all those layers was a worthwhile human being. And despite his flaws he's been there for each of us in turn. Sometimes for he own ends and in his own way, but it has been a benefit having him around. This moment was no exception.

"I'm guessing you're here for Kyle's birthday?"

"Wow. And you guessed that, how?"

"Well, it IS his birthday in two days"

"And how would you remember that?!"

The moment I said that I immediately felt bad, seeing a slightly saddened expression appear on his face.

"Dude, I know I still come across as heartless, uncaring, ungiving blah blah – but I've always remembered my friends birthdays, and I always will. Truth be told, that's why I'm here. I need to find some Jew things for him and apart from those stupid dreidal things I have no idea what else there is? Jew Cap? Jew Candle thing? What the fuck do you get them?"

"You could use your mouth to circumcise him if you want?"

"Kenny you fuck! Sick!"

I laughed and patted him on the back, and he recoiled in horror as my hand made contact.

"Surely you've already taken care of that are though? You should know the job's done at least?"

"Cartman are you prying? Do you actually wanna know what state Kyle's dick's in? I knew you wanted it in you!"

"Kenny, you have a lot to learn!"

"Well it's no good fishing for info. Kyle and I are nowhere near that yet, we never were before and we're not now. It's not on our priorities at the moment and I don't want to push it either. Things are going well and sex just complicates things – or so I've heard…"

"Well Kenny I must admit I'm surprised at you saying that, I'd have thought… wait… are you a virgin?"

"My dear Eric… I am indeed"

"Now THAT I find surprising! I'm more shocked at that than knowing your gay! But fair play to you… waiting for Kyle to take it from you… how romantic!"

Ok that warranted a punch to the ribs, and Cartman and I both ended up laughing it off. I'm surprised I wasn't ridiculed for that, but then I was also fairly sure that Cartman was still a virgin too so I guess he had no room to move on that one.

We trundled around various shops for a while before I led him to a fairly new shop over near the food court. Inside were all sorts of religious artifacts, symbols and texts, but I also noticed a sort of novelty section. Over on a rack near the middle of the store were various satirical items – things like Jesus and Satan as best friends, the pope bathing in a font, and tons of books relating to different religions most of which I assumed were either funny anecdotes or jokes. I picked up a book, read the cover and passed it Cartman's way. He read over the back and front and his eyes were dancing in his head.

"How the Jews would have saved Auschwitz millions – and how to look after your own Jew. This has got to be the best book in HISTORY! I might get two copies!"

He also picked up a small picture of jesus holding a Menora with sausages in instead of candles, and he was holding it over a burning figurine of Judas.

"There! If Jesus can brown his sausage then you two can as well!"

I shrugged him off and he paid for his goods. In return for my help, he decided to make it his mission to craft for me a birthday idea like no other. It started with a trip to the flower store, and ended with a dent in my cash the likes of which I'd never seen

"I hope you're right on this one Cartman!"

"Trust me, no matter what happens I reckon he'll have a great time"

I got back to my house a little too late to call Kyle, but I shot him a text. I'd missed 3 of his and apologised, sighting his birthday surprise as a reason. I got a fairly lazy reply from him so I assumed he was sleeping or at least trying to and I said goodnight before retiring to my own bedroom.

I cast my mind back to the evening and realised that I'd not properly thanks Cartman yet. I can't believe I just thought about thanking him, but then like I said he's not the 9 year old we knew anymore. He's changed so much, and I actually have a lot of respect for him. What's he's been through would be hard for anyone to deal with. I guess I can relate to him a bit better too. Better than I can with Stan or Kyle for that matter. I shoot him a quick text before setting the phone down on my bed.

I walk over to my desk and set my bag down on the chair. I pull out the contents and quickly organise them before pushing them into a brown envelope.

The brochure first.

The tour guide next.

The insurance documents.

The confirmation acceptance and credit approval.

This is going to be awesome.

* * *

**Has anyone felt anything for Cartman? Have I changed opinions and created some empathy for him - at least within this story? As much as he's a dick in the show I love him to bits - so many funny moments - but I wonder if we would ever see him in a friendly light, as caring and compassionate? Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't**


	15. Emotion Overload

**I've split an idea into two chapters, because what I originally thought of was 1) way too much for kyle to handle at once and 2) left no real surprises for later. Plus I couldn't work out a really effective way to weave it into the current situations, and by saving other things for later I can bring forward some other events. Plus this chapter felt like it was a lot longer than I wanted it to be (even though its still shorter than I thought I'd written)**

**Anyhoos - enjoy. oh yeah... thank you so much to everyone for getting this story 1000 views! that's too awesome :)**

**Kyles POV**

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I grabbed the clock next to my bed and glared over at the numbers. 6:45 goddammit! I thought I might let myself lye in on my birthday but no such luck. I wouldn't mind if it was a school day but school had been called off for our year due to some kind of training. I was quite glad actually – I'd never had my birthday off school before. Well, of course unless it was on a weekend. Typical though that when I do I still wake up at the crack of dawn.

I slam the clock away from me, groan and roll over. As I do, something catches my eye on a small table that's been placed by my bed. I reach out and turn my small lamp on and I'm greeted by a single rose and a handwritten note. What the fuck?

_Morning dude,_

_You have two options this morning. If you'd like breakfast in bed then stay here until half past 7 and I'll wake you with a selection. If you can't wait that long then feel free to join me in the kitchen_

_Love Kenny xx_

_P.S. I know you're awake by 7 at the latest so if you stay in bed don't pretend to be asleep when I get there or I'll be forced to take drastic measures to "wake you up" _

My cheeks flushed and a huge smile ached my face as it spread. Kenny's downstairs? Cooking breakfast? I can smell toast at the very least, but I can hear my mom's voice droning along the stairs. Another few minutes went by and I heard the front door go, and a car started up. Strange, dad doesn't leave for work until 8 and mom doesn't leave the house! I put that to the back of my mind as I re-read the note from Kenny and decided that he's at least offered breakfast in bed which is a gesture I'm happy with, but if he's downstairs in my kitchen then I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to run down there now and tackle him. So - within reason – that's exactly what I did.

I pulled on some loose sweats and yesterday's t-shirt before walking as quickly as possible down to the kitchen. My god, Kenny is adorable!

He's standing over the stove with a little chef's apron on and a white chef's hat. The radio is on quietly and he's lightly bobbing to the music as he slides the food from the pan to a plate. He thinks he's Gordon Ramsey or something! Such precision in angling the toast on the plate, pouring beans to within an inch distance. I had to stifle a chuckle so as to be able to sneak up on him successfully. That failed too.

"Breakfast in bed too cliché eh?"

I hadn't even entered the kitchen yet!

"How did you know I was here? I didn't make a sound!"

"Your stairs creek. And since Ike is at Filmore's, your dad is round mine and your mom just left for some last minute supplies it must have been you."

He turned and met my eyes with his, a broad smile matching mine planted across that oh so perfect face. I walked over and quickly pulled him into me, softly mounting my lips onto his. He slid his arms round my back and pulled inward, lifting me slightly higher and slightly grinding our crotches together momentarily. I moaned ever so slightly at the contact and parted my lips, offering Kenny a tour of inside. Kenny instead chose that moment to pull away. I gave him a slightly puzzled look.

"Dude, I love you and all, but morning breath man… seriously. Your cleaning that hole in your face before my tongue goes near it!"

He chuckled and my face reddened. He stroked my cheek with his hand and my smile returned as I sunk my face slightly into his palm.

"Besides your mom has just pulled up. Wouldn't want to be in the throws of passion when she walks in!"

"Dude, she's fine with it now! And besides I'm old enough to kiss the man I love if I want!"

"Yeah? Try saying that to her face."

"Good point."

I have only stood up to my mom once. I mean really stood up to her. And that was after Ike dropped the bomb that we were once a couple. He'd outed me in front of my parents at the worst moment possible, and then he and Kenny both got the fuck out of dodge to leave me with one hell of a night. I think in all honesty the discussion that night had ended because both mom and I had run out of voice. I'd definitely run out of tears, that's for sure. But over time she saw the way that Kenny and I were, she saw how different Kenny was to the rumours she'd heard, and she'd actually accepted that maybe there are worse things in life than a gay son. We had a very calm discussion a couple of months ago, again regarding Kenny and I and thankfully this time dad was there to help. Ike was already over the moon that his sort-of-other-brother was back and so needed little reassurance. Basically though, by the end of it all, mom came around. She asked that we keep public displays to a minimum as she didn't want to know what we got up to which I thought was fair enough. I mean, mom and dad don't flash their private life in front of me, so I respected her enough not to do the same. Dad, predictably was fine with the arrangement, and accepted Kenny as his own son.

We parted in time for mom to come in the front door and scream at me to help her with her bags.

"I got it Mrs. Broff"

Apparently Kenny wanted me to do nothing on my birthday. Bless him.

"Thank you Kenny, how nice of you. Kyle you could learn a few things about helping your mother from this one!"

"Na it's ok – it's his birthday so let him be a slob today, we'll straighten him out later"

Kenny passed a look over to me and then back to my mom, who was shooting him a very strange glance, almost as if she wanted to tell him off for letting me do nothing, but it wasn't working since she was having a chuckle at the statement herself.

Kenny brought the bags through and started unpacking them as mom planted a kiss on my cheek and almost crushed me in a hug.

"Happy birthday bubbula! Id give you your presents now but your father and Ike wanted to be here too, since they helped sort it all out and whatnot, is that okay?"

"Mom, you know me – I don't need anything!"

I smiled through the statement though, and tried to show my appreciation for her words without letting on I just wanted to get through the presents and spend the evening with Kenny. I know it's my birthday and all, but there are a few things I wanted to share with Kenny, if he wanted them too. And I needed a certain level of privacy that my locked bedroom door could offer me.

Kenny's breakfast was too good for words! I have no idea how he learned to cook, let alone cater for jewish cuisine but it was honestly on par with mom. She commented to the same effect too and Kenny simply shrugged it off whilst clearing the dishes and started washing up. I rose up to help him and was once again shot down by him.

"Kyle you need to go and sit on the sofa about now. Your mom will be answer the door any minute and you need to be in position so go!"

He lightly pushed me towards the door and I scowled in his direction.

"What the hell have you got up your sleeve McCormick!"

"Don't take that tone with me mister or you won't get any dinner tonight. Or more importantly, dessert…"

As he said the last word he licked his lips very provocatively and I couldn't help but try to supress some tightening down below. I'm so gonna get what I want later, I can feel it!

I sat down on the sofa just as mom opened the door to dad and Ike. Ike ran over and dove into my arms.

"Happy birthday Kyle!"

I ruffled his hair as he kissed my cheek and pulled back to shove a card into my hand. I thanked him as I opened it and laughed as I read the joke on the front of his handmade card. I kissed his forehead afterward and he jumped off of me to sit on the floor. He made way for dad to step forward and offer a hand out to me. I stood up before taking it.

"Happy birthday Kyle! Your mother and I have managed to get you a special something and hopefully Kenny hasn't spoiled it by letting you have the first part of his present to you?"

Confused, I turned to face Kenny, who was popping the kitchen doorframe up.

"Not at all sir, he hasn't had my envelope yet. Do you want to give him your part first then?"

"If that's ok, I think things would tie in better that way"

Kenny simply nodded an answer to my dad and with that he withdrew a small white box from his pocket. He and mom both reached out so they could hand it over together.

"Happy Birthday son"

Now my brain was hurting with confusion. I was too busy trying to figure out just what the hell was going on, what was planned between Kenny and my parents, before Ike shouted out to me.

"Kyle! Come on open it!"

I snapped out of my trance and took the box carefully. Unwrapping the small bow that laid across it I slid the lid off and stopped myself short. Inside… was a key.

It was then I noticed that the front door was open, and as I looked up I had a sense of what was coming. Mom and dad stepped to one side and I slowly paced to the front door, and then ran out in a complete daze to stand next to a brand new car! Holy fuck!

"How the… what the f… why did you… what the hell! Oh-my-god-oh-my-god are you guys serious! You got me a car!"

OK so on the scale of 1 to gay, I was off the chart with that reaction but fuck it. My parents had just bought me a brand new car! I wasn't about to shrug that shit off. After a few minutes of letting it sink in though I turned to both my parents.

"Wait… why have you got me a car… I haven't got a license y…"

Kenny cut me off this time by stepping forward and setting a brown envelope in my hands. His smile settled and content in front of me. I knew what this was the second he stepped forward. I knew what was coming, but no way did I believe it.

"No… way… Kenny you didn't…"

I tore open the envelope as I spoke and pulled the contents out, almost dropping them all in the process. In front of me now was confirmation of my driver's Ed course. Kenny had paid the entire bill…

I couldn't help it at this point. I burst into tears as I grabbed Kenny in the tightest hug possible and he ran his fingers through my hair to soothe me. I couldn't thank him or my parents enough and kept hugging and kissing them all until they grew rather tired and cold. We were still standing outside in the snow I suppose which was my fault.

Kenny and I sat back down on the sofa, and I started flicking through the car's owner's manual. I had to read everything about it, absorb all the info I could about my new toy. I couldn't wait to sit in the driver's seat and take off for the first time. This was going to be awesome.

I leant myself back into Kenny's chest and he draped an arm over my chest. I grabbed his hand and held it close to my heart so he could feel it beat, and he picked up on the rapid palpitations thrusting through my chest.

"I think you'll definitely need to calm down soon Kyle. Your day hasn't even started yet."

I turned my neck up towards him, my mouth slightly open

"No Kenny, you can't have done more. How did you afford this in the first place!"

"Well, that's for me to know and you to never find out. Besides, I'm not the only one on earth today you know? You've still got all the guys and girls from school, my family, Stan's family, this evening and this weekend to get through…"

Damn you Kenny, you've done way too much already. You can't have more surely! He picked up on my thoughts though.

"Kyle, I screwed up 5 years ago, big time. I missed all your guys' birthdays countless times and I've caused you too much pain. This year is different. For once it's all about you. And I'm going to make sure that this year, for the first time in a long time, you're going to have the biggest and best motherfuck-"

"Kenny! Language!"

"Sorry Mrs. Broff!... Damn, talk about ruining my flow there!"

I let forth a small chuckle, but stayed staring at him in disbelief.

"Anyway. Look dude. I'm head over heels for you, have been for so long, and I've never been able to show you properly. I want to try and make you realise how special you are. And not just to me, but to everyone. I don't think many people tell you the appreciation they have for you and all you've done for people, but by the end of this weekend you'll hopefully understand."

Either that, or if this weekend goes the way I think it might do, then I'll end up very, very drunk!

"Plus, I wasn't completely honest."

I turned back round to him quickly and eyed him intensely.

"I've got a lot more for you later on…"


	16. Old Friends and Good Times

**OK Question Time peeps **

**I have (or at least I think I have) 2-3 possible endings or at least 2 possible twists that could affect the ending. I have room for one or maybe two "filler chapters" that can help detail this**

**so here's my question. Where would you like to see relationships end up? I'm thinking of the main boys of course. Would you like them to stay as they are at the end of this chapter. Would you like a bit of drama and maybe a breakup or bust up? would you like a twist or a constant storyline?**

**The final chapter of this story is written (in my head anyway) but depending on who goes where with what, the ending can be reordered to fint any possible cange in situation. Let me know**

**(of course the answer could be "your shit, stop writing and don't bother trying" - but I guess I'll never know until I finish :) )**

**Kyles POV**

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How the hell does life come up with these things to throw at you? Not two months ago it was almost like we were all living in a different time and space – seeing life through a movie screen or something, even maybe watching someone else's life unfold. Now I'm been driven by my boyfriend in my new car to my best friend's house. Turn of events MUCH!

I have no idea when Kenny did his drivers Ed, but he took it as an elective at some point and I must say he's a damn good driver. I did have to scold him a couple of times for taking corners too fast, or driving too close to other drivers. Hey, I want my car to survive long enough for me to – you know? – actually drive it! I knew it was all safe though, so I turned my concentration to the stereo and flicked through a few different stations until I found a half decent song to listen to.

"You know, I think I'm gonna have to "acquire" an ipod connection into this stereo… I don't think either of us are ever gonna be too impressed with the radio offerings."

Kenny gazed my way for a moment with a small smile and I acknowledged it with a hand rested on his thigh. I put slight pressure into my grip as I sighed a smile back and tried to woo some information out of him.

"So what's next today then? I'm guessing you've got a whole schedule planned?"

"Oh I have indeed my little rosebud! I have an itinerary back home that you won't be seeing and I have a few people to contact at certain points. For now you need to worry about getting out of the car because we're here. Did you have a nice drive?"

"Kenny wait, this isn't…"

He was already out of the car though, and making his way round to my side. Why were we at Stan's though? I was no doubt going to see Stan at some point but generally the birthday boy stays at home and every other fucker drives to you! Kenny flicked my door open and offered out his hand in a very "butler" kind of way.

"This way good sir"

"Kenny… posh English footman doesn't suit you!"

He smiled and pulled me out of the car harder than I was expecting which led to me falling into his arms. Well, I can't say I wasn't happy with that. Kenny closed the door and locked the car as we made our way up the drive and were greeted by Stan opening the door. He embraced me with a big warm hug, and I no doubt chilled his pyjama clad body as he shuddered to my touch. Put some clothes on then you lazy shit!

"Happy Birthday dude!"

He kissed me on the cheek as he said it (strictly best friend love there!) and offered me in as he embraced Kenny in the same manner. With the door closed Stan sat me on the sofa and both he and Kenny disappeared into the kitchen after Kenny flicked the tv on for me.

"Mind explaining anything yet? Anyone?"

I'll guess no to that then. I sunk back slightly into the couch and my eyes quickly settled on a neatly wrapped box under the tv stand. My curiosity stirred but quelled again quickly as Randy made his way down the stairs and over to me. I stood and offered my hand forward, but Randy smiled and batted my hand away playfully.

"Come on Kyle, surely a birthday is a day for hugs not handshakes?"

With that he half offered and half pulled me into a hug. Randy's always been known for extremities, but this was a genuine kindness.

"Happy birthday son!"

At that point Sharon entered from the kitchen and walked to take over while Randy made his way to the tv. I'm not going to lie – I had a feeling that the box was for me and I did want to get my hands on it sooner rather than later. Everyone's just a big kid for presents really!

"Happy birthday darling! Have you had a good day so far?"

I smiled down on her and nodded to acknowledge her before turning to face Randy's voice again. Stan and Kenny had wandered back in from the kitchen, with Stan propped up on the doorframe and Kenny standing over his shoulder.

"We hope you like it Kyle. If not blame Stan!"

Randy eased the box my way and my smile broadened as I thanked them both and proceeded to carefully unwrap the paper. I took a bit of time actually admiring that paper. Not only was it beautiful but it was well-wrapped and very neat. This fit well in my mind, the way presents should be wrapped. It irritated Kenny though – maybe because of the time I was taking… did it conflict with his little plans?

"Kyle, seriously… rip it for god sake! Its wrapping paper not dynamite!"

I didn't bother containing my excitement once the paper was off, but I did hold back a very girly scream as I hurriedly thanked both Sharon and Randy for their gift. A new, limited edition Assassin's Creed 3 Xbox (with the game as well obviously!), 4 controllers and another selection of games that included Call of Duty, Halo, and a few other racing and fighting games. 10 games in total. I'm left fairly speechless.

Kenny loaded the gifts up in the car as we prepared to leave. I hugged and kissed both Sharon and Randy once more, and thanked them for the presents as I made my way to the car. I looked a bit puzzled as I looked over and saw Stan opening the rear passenger door.

"You coming too Stan?"

I regretted that choice of words immediately when it sounded like I was disappointed, but Stan didn't seem to care. Instead he seemed to know something…

"Sorry dude, you and Kenny can have your "time" later. Right now we need to get going"

And going was right… Kenny decided now was a good time to try a wheel spin.

"Kenny you fuck! I have to pay for these tires now!"

We were all laughing though, and I couldn't be mad at Kenny for having a bit of fun. It's not like one wheel spin would dent a bank balance I don't even have yet.

"Pull those panties out your ass crack dude, we're here now anyway"

I thought it was strange when I looked up and saw the "for sale" sign in the front garden, but what was even weirder is that the front of the house was adorned with "Happy Birthday Jew" banners. Clearly self-made but it brought a smile to my face, which didn't even fade when he answered the door.

"Happy birthday Jew-rat!"

"Thanks lard-ass"

Even with our greeting, we hugged warmly before he offered us all in, and landed a beer in our hands. Kenny asked if he was ok to have at least one and I gave him the nod. To be fair he could probably have 3, this beer tasted like piss, and probably had the same alcohol content as it too.

"Jeez Cartman, you certainly went all out for my birthday on these didn't you?"

"Well I had to save money somewhere along the line didn't I? Or have you lost your sense of smell as well as thousands of brothers at the camps?"

I gave him a friendly fist to his shoulder before allowing my nose to take in anything that was lingering nearby and was surprised to smell several different aromas coming from the kitchen. Cartman smiled slightly as he realised that I was catching on and extended his hand towards the dining table, where a few presents were wrapped and stacked on a place setting, and three other places were set.

"Go ahead Kyle. Go get your presents before I feel like getting my money back!"

Stan and Kenny had already taken their seats and Cartman headed towards the stove and started piling food onto different plates as I unwrapped each present and in turn, recoiled in horror, laughed in hysterics and jokingly laid into Cartman for yet again belittling my people. In truth though, seeing Jesus with a flaming sausage Menorah was damn fucking epic! Plus I really didn't take faith seriously anymore. Once done I pushed the presents to one side to allow space for a plate of food to land in front of me. Well well, I never thought I'd see the day that Cartman would cook anyone dinner! To my surprise it wasn't poisoned, and was actually immensely good!

After finishing up at Cartman's it was starting to get dark and I asked if getting home sometime before midnight was a possibility, to which all three shouted no as they piled themselves and me into the car. What the fuck, now Cartman's tagging along too? What is going on!

After about half an hour driving up some pretty diabolical back roads we stopped the car in a layby and Kenny got out. He offered my door open and I stepped out to, as Stan slopped in the driver's seat and Cartman began rolling out of the car.

"What the hell is going on Kenny?! And why is Stan about to drive my car!"

"Kyle don't worry, we're both on the insurance and someone needs to get the car round to our final destination. We have to walk"

I groan so loud I could have caused an avalanche in these mountains but Kenny merely takes my hand and waves Stan off as we turn into the woods and begin trekking through the thicket. Kenny had a content smile on his face, completely opposite to my frowned red cheeks, but before I could get much out of him he pushed through a clearing and in the distance I could see what looked like a fire burning.

"See? We're nearly here Ky… come on!"

He pulled me along faster now as his anticipation grew. I'm guessing now that this is part of the plan too, and I was right. We pushed through another set of shrubs and bushes and I saw the source of the fire that was nestled in the middle of several log cabins. All of which were surrounded on three sides by large wooden sides, and what looked like a clear tarpaulin was stretched over like a roof. It was magical, absolutely beautiful and without noticing anything else I started to tear up.

"Happy birthday Kyle!"

A unison of voices brought my attention back to the fire, where on inspection a number of familiar faces were sitting with beers, cigarettes, cards and poker chips. Off to the side slightly was a small pile of presents. Kenny and I walked hand in hand towards the centre as everyone stood and in turn greeted me with a hug.

Along with Stan, Cartman, Kenny and I were: Clyde, Craig, Butters, Tweek, Red, Bebe, Jimmy, Heidi and Timmy. They had all made the trip up here for my birthday! Not only that…

"Do you like it Kyle? This is from me. Everyone here chipped in a bit of course though"

Stan's triumphant beam infected my whole body, and I literally lunged into his arms, planting kisses all over his face as I said thank you too many times.

We spent what seemed like the next 3 days drinking, playing cards, swapping stories, eating, more drinking, dancing and sharing around the gifts that were brought here for me to open. As it drew closer to 2 a.m. a few of the group broke off to the cabins – some had two rooms, some three. Apparently as well there were couples there that I was unaware of too, as Butters and Tweek headed off hand in hand, as did Clyde and Red, and Craig and Heidi. I smiled broadly in their directions, although of course none of them saw me. I was genuinely happy for all of them. My smile once again widened as I looked to see who was left by the fire and caught a sight of Stan and Bebe laughing like 4 graders again.

"Kenny, what's happening tonight then? I mean – I've got no stuff with me!"

"All in our room dude. Told you earlier, it's your birthday that means you do nothing ok?"

"So… where is our room then? Looks like most people have turned in. You wanna do the same?"

I hoped my question set some cogs in motion

"Yeah I'll head back to the car and grab some sleep soon. Your room is over there."

He pointed in the direction of… some trees? Really? By now I could see why, he wasn't looking at me to try and stop himself laughing in the process of "dashing my hopes and dreams" therefore he didn't have a clue where he was pointing. He admitted defeat and we laughed together as he led the way. Before we disappeared off I looked back towards the fire and saw Stan and Bebe collide into a fairly passionate kiss. Good for them. I kissed my hand and blew it over to them, wishing them both a good night.

Kenny and I talked for a while as we lay in bed gazing at each other. I thanked him yet again and he kissed me to shut me up. We talked fairly openly about what would possibly happen in this bed. I found out he was still a virgin, and he knew I was anyway (it's easy to tell!) and we both agreed that we'll take things slow and see where it ends up. And if nothing happens then that's that. I must admit, this morning I was gagging for Kenny to take me all the way, but now I'm nervous as hell, and knowing he's a virgin to kind of makes it worse.

We start kissing and moving our hands across bare flesh as mine settles on his nipple and ass. I give both a squeeze and he acknowledges me by parting his lips, allowing my tongue inside. I flick a few times across his tongue just to taste him, and feel him, but I don't want a big sloppy snog session. He seems to feel the same, as he doesn't press into it any further, instead he offers the same sentiments my way.

Both hands start trailing up and down, and he is the first to take things to the next step, as his hand finds my shaft and softly starts massaging and gripping my entire length. I groan into him as I stiffen into his touch, and he pulls my head nearer to kiss and nip at my neck before whispering to me.

"Lay back, I want to try something…"

I have no will power to argue, and before I know it Kenny is kissing down my neck and onto my chest. Still massaging. His tongue trails the line down towards my belly button and across to kiss my hips. I buck towards him as his lips hit my upper thigh and my hands grip the bed sheets as I prepare for what I know is coming. As he lifts away from me and slowly and eases up with his hand I manage to whimper out.

"I love you Kenny"

With that, he dives down onto the head with his mouth, and I moan in complete ecstasy. Feeling his tongue, his teeth, his whole mouth engulf me is unlike anything I thought it would be. This is something I could get used to. And fuck me I know I'm clueless about sex in general but Kenny is hitting all the right spots and certainly knows how to handle me. It doesn't take long before that pulling sensation starts in my stomach and I know something's on the way out.

"Ken… Ken seriously, I'm gonna cum so soon"

I thought maybe he'd pull away and finish off with his hand. Instead he dove further down, sucked with more passion and gripped even tighter as he sped towards the finish line, and I cried out in immense pleasure as I burst into his mouth. Waves washed over me as my orgasm sustained, then intensified before finally calming down into pulses through my entire body. Kenny stayed down, watching as I started to shrink and fade away whilst planting soft loving kisses on my shaft. I grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him towards me, planting a kiss forcefully onto his lips. As we cuddled closer I felt his erection brush my stomach and I pulled back slightly whilst smiling towards him.

"May I?"

He gave me a puzzled look as I pushed him over onto his back and took his rock into my hand, trying my best to replicate the entire experience that he had just allowed me to have. Taking Kenny into my mouth was such a treat, he tasted amazing, and I couldn't get enough. It didn't take Kenny too much longer to reach that point, and I hate to admit it but when he let me know he was nearly there I did think about pulling away. I forced myself to stay though. If Kenny is willing for me then I am for him 100%. Boy I'm glad I did though, because the taste of Kenny's essence blew my mind, and I lapped up every drop that I could before coming to rest next to him.

Kenny stroked my hair softly and planted yet another light kiss on my forehead. I gave the impression that I was more than happy to leave some more experimenting for another night, and I think Kenny was glad for that. I didn't want this to go too far too fast. I was way too happy and hoped that nothing would ruin this now.

"Goodnight Kenny. I love you"

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**Bless their cottons - so yeah, if you haven't read the top note then *SPOILER ALERT***

**If you have then what would you like - would you like Kyle and Kenny to last, all happy and lovey until the very end, would you like them to have some drama breakup and get back together in the end. would you like them over and done with by the end? **

**Stan and Bebe eh? does that tickle your fancy? do you want more mention of it? do you want it to die down after the weekend trip?**

**Does anyone want Cartman to find some bump and grind time? Even if just for a bit, or just at the end?**


	17. Revelations and Intrusions

**So question for you people - would you like me to develop Cartman's story more into a side story? this chapter aside I don't know whether to give him a small extra part yet, but I've got a few ideas for some plot points for him. **

**Thanks again to everyone for the views, and thanks to the reviewers - I appreciate you taking the time to leave me a little note :)**

**Cartman's POV**

* * *

Goddammit why is it that I have a perfectly good bed in a perfectly good house and I choose to spend my weekend sleeping in a fucking wood shack with hippies, a jew and the gays? Man my street cred is all but gone completely – no-one's gonna think I'm super awesome and cool anymore!

I don't actually know why I'm thinking this way – I gave this idea to Kenny so all the while I'm bitching and moaning, it's all my fault anyway. I guess what's getting to me more is the fact that I'm not actually that bothered by being here and I should be.

What happened to me? The 9 year old in me wouldn't help with someone's birthday. The 9 year old wouldn't hold his tongue with everyone getting gay. The 9 year old wouldn't knowingly spend all weekend with the jew-rat and the poor ass in a secluded forest, or hang out with that hippy Marsh for longer than a day. The truth is though I'm quite glad that 9 year old is dead and buried, god knows I wouldn't have survived for long after my mom fucked off if it hadn't have been for these people.

None of them did much to help other than just being there, but that was enough to take my mind away from going completely insane. And the best way to keep things going as normal? Keep on being a fucking douche to everyone. Even though we all knew that it was taken light-heartedly, secretly I was pleading for them all to feed off it as they had done so that I didn't have to break. And that's another thing that really pisses me off every day – the 9 year old in me… wouldn't break.

There was no way I was falling asleep for a while either. I was too wrapped up in my thoughts, and the fire outside was still large enough to prevent darkness from helping my eyes close. I may as well at least try and occupy myself, maybe it'll tire me out. I open the door and start to head out before I stop in my tracks. Stan and Bebe are hardcore sucking face! Fair play to Stan – if I was anywhere near her league I'd be doing the same thing. I try to tread quietly to avoid disturbing the but naturally that makes every movement louder, and after snapping a few twigs they break for air and Stan shoots me a glance.

"Sorry bro, just passing through – carry on the good work"

I raise my hand in a half apology/half salute and he chuckles. Bebe's looking the other way and I can only guess that she's embarrassed at getting caught. Not that it matters to me but its still a fairly intimate moment.

I hear Stan lean in and whisper something to Bebe but I can't quite make out all the words, so I offer out an option to them.

"Hey if you guys fancied saving us from having to see and hear your mouths colliding you could always head back to your room. I won't let the whole school know, maybe just our grade hehe."

"Wow, what a generous offer of you Cartman but I have just suggested that, but we both have single beds with other people in the rooms so it's actually more private out here."

Without actually thinking before acting I launch my cabin key their way and it lands on the floor just in front of Bebe. Stan shoots me a puzzled look.

"No-one wanted to room with me so I went all out and got a double bed with a nice fire too. If I'm on my own I may as well live in luxury you know? But I guess you guys need it more so feel free. I'm not tired yet anyway and I can always crash in your room Stan, or even head back to the car for a while. Knock yourself out!"

Stan's mouth dropped at hearing I was willing to give up comfort for the sake of his dick maybe getting some. It's not something anyone was used to I suppose. But also I'd heard about him and Wendy and what revenge it would be that her best friend bedded her ex because she fucked him over. That'd wipe the smirk off her face – even if I would so tap that if, again, it was something available to me.

"Dude – what? Are you serious?!"

"Hey, I'm a dick, but I still look out for my bros. And anything I can do to help the male quest of getting laid is worthwhile. One condition though?"

This time Stan and Bebe both eyed me rather nervously, but with a predetermined expectation that they knew this was coming. Before I was asked I decided to out my payment.

"I want pictoral or video evidence of you doing the deed! Either that or at least a tasteful nude of you Bebe."

Ha! She looked like she was about to cry, and Stan looked like he was about to burst through embarrassment and anger. I couldn't hold it for even ten seconds though. I burst out laughing! Stan soon relaxed and followed suit and Bebe just looked down right confused. We exchanged a few more insults before I settled down and made my way into the forest from the campsite. I turned back in time to see Stan and Bebe head inside. Such a lucky bastard!

I decided that the car was the best option for now. Most other people were in their rooms and I wasn't about to crash in on anyone's good time. Plus I guess really, I was guest number 13. I came along purely because (as far as they knew) I'd helped to plan it and I wanted to make sure that my money went to something worthwhile. Namely my weekend away. The truth is I just really wanted to be close to everyone. Not in a "I love you guys" kind of way, but with most people going away this weekend I didn't really wanna stay in my house alone with nothing going on. I did of course love all the guys (purely bromance, I'm no pecker-checker) and the girls had gone up a few pages in my books but in order to be like "that" with someone it'd have to be with someone that didn't know me I think. I can't see anyone that I grew up wanting to be with me.

I pulled the door open and found a lonely beer resting in the footwell. I'm glad we didn't double check the car or I might not have had the luxury. I cracked it open and took a long sip as something caught my eye to the right. It looked like someone else was having a midnight stroll. I started towards them, this time not caring how much noise I made. Ironically I reached them without making a single sound, and scared them shitless with a sudden hand to the shoulder. Boy was I in for a shock.

"What the fuck are you doing here!"

"I need to talk to him!"

"And what makes you think he'd want to talk to you after what you've done?"

"Cartman shut your fat mouth. What the fuck do you know about it? And in any case what makes you think you can tell me what to do? Why should I take advice from a fat, ulgy, unloved virgin of a boy? When you grow up and actually you know, experience some kind of a relationship then you can tell me what I can and can't do with my boyfriend!"

Wow has she hit a nerve. Now I can be an asshole. Not that I want to out Stan or Bebe, but I doubt either of them would care about it anyway. A smirk started to appear on my face.

"Wendy… Wendy, Wendy, Wendy. You have much to learn about real life yourself. What makes you think Stan is your boyfriend? Whatever it is you must get over to cabin 215 right away and explain it to him because I don't think he and Bebe know he's still in a relationship with you. To be fair, whatever you guys had going in the first place it looked like Bebe's lips got more of Stan's love tonight than you've got off him since 3rd Grade. I may not have had sex, or even properly kissed someone, but I know how to treat someone I love, and I also know that you are the biggest whore-slut-motherfucker in Colorado. So feel free to take this beer can, shove it up your ass and waddle your way back home."

Rant over, I crushed the empty can and tossed it towards her. She looked at it and maybe she took it as a hint towards her and Stan, as she took that moment to burst into tears as she fell to her knees. I felt my work was done so I headed back to the camp. I'm now swimming with whether I tell Stan or not. Goddammit this is still not gonna help me sleep…

X X X

**Stan's POV**

I'm not sure what Cartman is on tonight but I'm not arguing with him when he offer's up his room for me. Plus it a chance to get with Bebe and that I am NOT passing up! I've always found her adorable, and pretty; smart too. I know it's always been "Stan and Wendy" but I don't know anymore. I can't shake the feeling that Bebe is just a bit of a rebound at the moment and I don't want to do that to her; She deserves better than that. Fuck me though she's a good kisser!

I pull away from her, partly to catch my breath but also I don't want to rush in and regret anything. She shoots me a quick smile, but her face quickly turns to confusion as I slowly avoid her gaze for a moment.

"What's wrong Stan?"

Shit. How do I approach this? To be fair to me, there's no commitment at the moment, I don't have to worry about causing any awkwardness yet because I don't think we're that far. I want to be honest though.

"Bebe… your fantastic – you know that right?"

She raises one eyebrow in confusion and anticipation of where this is going.

"I mean, you're beautiful, funny, smart… everything. I think your awesome, really…"

"But…"

I take a quick breath and divert my gaze. However honest I want to be, I don't want to see her reaction to this in case I do upset her.

"But I don't want you to be a rebound. You know me and Wendy are done, and I can honestly say that's something I never want again. But I don't want you to feel that I'm doing this because I'm off with her. And I don't want to rush into something and either of us regret anything later, or ruin our friendship just because we were caught up in a moment or… I don't know, I don't know if I'm saying it right. I just don't want to get too into things today and then tomorrow feel really awkward with each other because we did things just because."

I feel her hand lay on my chin and raise my head up to meet her gaze. I give it a few seconds before I'm brave enough to meet my eyes with her, and I'm relieved to see she's smiling.

"Stan, you are too sweet. You know that?"

She leans forward and plants a soft kiss on my lips.

"I don't know why you and Wendy aren't together anymore, and I don't care. That's your business, not mine. All I know is that I've had feelings for you for a while now and I for one am glad you're not with her. But I understand if you need time to get through this, and I want you to know that I'm here for you now if you want help to get through this, or I'll be here for you when you're ready and if you want to try things again in the future."

God she made so much sense, and I'm so glad she said all that. I lean forward and plant her with a kiss this time. Slow and soft.

"How about this Stan. Let's just go slow and see where we want to take things. If we're heading down a path that either of us thinks is too fast then either of us can stop it. If it feels right then we can keep going? I trust you, and I trust your judgement and respect your wishes. You can go wherever you want, but for now just kiss me again. Please?"

Fuck me. I think I'm falling for her. Big time. I pull her into and on top of me as she laces her tongue around mine.

Just then, the door opens.

What. The. Fuck!

"Wendy…?"


	18. Putting It To Rest

**Are you liking the campfire stories? There's some juicy stuff coming up now (I think at least) - Hope you enjoy it!**

**Kyles** **POV**

* * *

Well that settles the first little quirk in our relationship… Kenny will be the duvet hogger! The jammy bastard has half of it wrapped around his leg and the other half tucked under his chin. And here I am, in just my underwear… freezing the last bit of life out of my nuts. They're actually hurting right now! But I can't get any cover back, just because Kenny looks so fucking adorable snuggled up nice and tight there. I roll over into him and smile while nestling into his neck. He subconsciously replies by… moving away? What the fuck! What a bitch! I give him head and he gives me the cold shoulder – literally! Of course, I'm not mad though. I'm too in love with the mere fact that I'm sharing his bed to even think about it.

Almost as if my thoughts were being screamed in his ears, he stirs and shuffles round to return my gaze through sleepy eyes. He pulls the covers down slightly and I can see a smile form, which of course I have no choice but to move in closer and kiss before I miss the moment. Soft, slow and caring. Just enough to let him know that I love him but I appreciate jumping a half-asleep Kenny is not a good idea.

"What time is it?"

"Time for you to go back to sleep and me to keep watching you"

"You're watching me sleep? That's kinda creepy dude!"

"No creepier than me waking up to find "Mysterion" balancing on my windowsill! How long did you use to sit there for?"

"Hours sometimes. One night I remember falling off at least once where I fell asleep! Good times right there!"

I couldn't help but laugh. The mental image of Kenny falling from my windowsill and doing that stupid spasm type freak out grab as he did. You know, like how when you start to fall asleep and then you feel like you're falling and your whole body just freaks out and jolts about for a while. I wish I could have seen it now.

Actually, no. I wish back then I knew Mysterion was Kenny. And I wish I knew what I know now. Even though we were like ten back then I'd have still pulled him into my bed and kissed and cuddled him all night long.

Kenny sat up and stretched out a bit before becoming rigid and focusing his attention towards the door. I stare at his face through the back of his head trying to figure out what his expression is. That clearly doesn't work though – all I can see is his mouth round my…

"Do you hear that?"

I move closer to him and lean up against his shoulders while listening out for any sounds.

"It sounds like someone's having an argument. We gonna check this out?"

Kenny answers by standing and moving over to fetch his pants. I follow suit, and pull on a loose fitting hoodie just as we both open the door. What we see smacks us in the face and I have to take a few moments to process it. Everyone else had heard the commotion too and had congregated at their own doors. In the middle of the circle created by the onlookers and cabins was Stan. Next to him with his hand in hers was Bebe. And in front of them both was… Wendy?

"Stan it was one mistake! And anyway, it took you real long to get over it and move on didn't you? With my best friend too!"

"Wendy you don't even know what went on. You barge in and see us kissing – so what?! We're not together anymore, and to be honest who I now decide to kiss is none of your business. Why are acting like the victim here. Need I remind you…"

"Don't Stan!"

"Don't what?! Let everyone know what you are? Let everyone here know why we aren't together anymore? Why not? You give me one good reason why bitch!"

Jesus. I start feeling pretty bad for Wendy, but then I remember what Stan had told me and all of a sudden I don't give a fuck. But this is supposed to be a good time for us, a fantastic weekend. And I'll be damned if Wendy is going to ruin it for me, Stan or anyone else. I start to step forward and Kenny grabs my hand.

"Dude, don't. It's not our fight"

"Kenny he's my best friend and what she did to him sucks harder than you do"

He sniggers at that one and I flash a cheeky wink before coming back to seriousness.

"You can come with me if you don't want to let go…"

With that I make my way to the middle and try to be as diplomatic as possible.

"Wendy…"

"What the fuck do you want faggot?!"

That floored me. It floored nearly everyone's jaw too, including Stan's. I feel quite strange, it's the first time anyone's called me that, and it hits the right spark inside to ignite a hellfire that I plan to unleash on her face.

"Wendy…"

Kenny decides now's the time to defend my honour, which I appreciate even though it's at the complete WRONG moment.

"Whore-face… you got a problem with the way Kyle is? The way Kyle and I are? You not a fan of the homosexuals? You prefer big black cock ripping you a new asshole?"

My turn Kenny. You're not having the whole rant.

"Wendy. I'm gay. Kenny's gay. We love and respect each other and I can tell you now, neither of us are… faggots"

I cringe at the word. I need to remind myself to wash my mouth out later.

"What are you even doing here anyway? No-one invited you, and for good reason. We don't want you around, and clearly Stan doesn't need you either. He's perfectly happy with Bebe here, and it's been great having her step in and give him someone to talk to so that I can have a good weekend. You wouldn't know anything about that would you? How many times have you supported Stan? Been there for him? Given him advice?"

Oh yeah – I may not have the venom of others but I make some fucking good points in the heat of the moment. She bows her head slightly and I can see a slight glisten in her eyes. And I don't give a fuck either. Cry bitch! Cry like you made my best friend cry!

Stan was biting his lip, and his fists had balled up tight. He took a deep breath before looking around the campsite.

"Ok people. Everyone shut up. Don't say a word until I'm done. That includes you."

He points at Wendy, but she knows without looking he was referring to her.

"Now, I came here to have a good weekend with some great friends, and help Kyle have a great birthday. So far so good, I'd say this first night has been fairly successful. But YOU weren't invited. And for good reason."

As he continued he circled Wendy and raised his voice so that no-one could miss this. His gaze moved from person to person, making sure they were all paying attention.

"The reason that we broke up is because she decided it would be good fun to have a good portion of some black dick! SHE! SHE WAS FUCKING TOKEN!"

Cue collective gasp… there it is. And continue.

"Fuck knows how long for and who gives a shit. She went behind my back and fucked someone else. She blew me off once before the end and that was the night I went round there and caught them. So… now that we have that cleared up I'd like to make an announcement. I'm pretty sure I've fallen for Bebe."

Bebe's head snapped up at the revelation, and when she realised everyone had turned their gaze to her, her face lit up like a Christmas tree with embarrassment.

"And I think it's been a long time coming. She's actually a girl worth being with. She's funny, smart, attractive, a great kisser and she actually talks to me. She listens to what I have to say and she helps me deal with things. I don't know what took me so long, but I only hope she feels the same."

Stan's gaze doesn't turn to her but I see her nod vigorously. She catches my gaze and I offer a big smile her way.

"Now Wendy. You're a smart girl too. So tell me: what do you think you should do at this point in time?"

She sniffs back tears before answering, without lifting her head.

"I should probably go?"

"No"

Wendy's head snaps up to meet Stan's gaze. He moves in slightly closer and the whole campsite waits in eager anticipation for what's to come. I see Bebe tense and I start moving forward. I think Stan's about to land the killer blow and I want to be there to support him. I reach Bebe and lay a hand on her shoulder, giving her a reassuring look that hopefully says "everything's ok" and she nods acknowledgement.

"Wendy. You should fuck off."

Wendy cracks, tears flowing down her face as she turns and runs in the opposite direction as the rest of the campsite starts applauding! I reach Stan and wrap both arms around his chest from behind.

"You ok?"

Stan turns and just buries his head in my chest as he softly cries. I gently rub his back as Kenny joins me.

"Take that ho!"

Trust Cartman to chime in with that!

I push Stan slightly forward so that I can look at him properly, and he smiles and thanks me. Bebe joins us by my side and takes his hand.

"Stan… I love you too"

"We'll leave you two to it"

Kenny grabs my hand as he says it and leads me back to our cabin. The rest of the crowd has dispersed and Stan and Bebe kiss again by the fire before heading back.

"Hey Stan!"

He turns as I shout in his direction.

"Wrap it up boy!"

"DUDE!"

We both break out in laughter, a welcome relief from the tension earlier, before carrying on inside

"See you in the morning dude!"

"Night Kyle"

* * *

**Man I loved ripping Wendy a new one here! What do you guys think? And I think Stan and Bebe would be good together? we haven't really seen a great deal of her in the show which is great because I can create my own interpretation.**

**This story is going to be longer than 20 chapters now. I've got a new fire for other plot points that I want to roll in and I'm actually excited about writing them!**


	19. Graduation

**Well hello guys. Hope you're still enjoying the story? I cant believe it but when I had an idea to end this story on I didn't write it down. Yep - it's fucked off now! Mainly because I also had ideas for 2 or 3 chapters before the end and I tried focusing on them first. Well whatever hey ho.**

**Don't know how much longer this is going to be... I feel I'm close to the end (i hear you rejoicing!) this may round off soon. **

**I'd love to get some feedback on this story so feel free to leave a review. After reading over the last two chapters and the two I've got written (this one and next) I feel like the chapters are losing enthusiasm or momentum or something like that. That's probably why this'll end soon too. but I'd love some input from you guys, what do you think?**

**Kenny's POV**

* * *

Being first up definitely has its perks. Firstly – no-one to share the beer with. Hey, it may only be 11 a.m. but I didn't plan on sobering up this weekend! It also means I get the pleasure of relighting the fire AND being the only one to enjoy the fantastic heat coming from it. Strangely, I can't quite figure out why I'm doing this though. I've had to light a fire because its 250 degrees below absolute zero out here, and yet there's a perfectly good bed with an awesomely warm body in it that I could curl up into and drift back off with.

Problem is I'm fully awake. And when I'm fully awake there's no point even trying to stay in bed. I'd have only woken him up as well, and I've heard he's a little whiney bitch in the mornings. I think I'll have more fun out here at the moment too, watching everyone emerge from their holes in their own time. Jimmy is already up and has clearly gone back to their car to get something, as he heads in my direction with a bag in his hand. I'm more interested in the cabin he passed just a few steps ago.

That one has a very unique doorframe. A doorframe that seems to be propping up a very tired Stan Marsh. He takes a moment for his eyes to adjust before finally spotting me and heading on over. Playing it like a bad-ass motherfucker I adopt my 'lean-back-like-a mafia-boss' pose and I can't help but broaden my smile as he gets ever closer.

"Well, well. Nice to see you both got up for me!"

"Morning dude, how was your eve… both of us? Do you see anyone else standing here?"

"No, but I see you're standing to attention! Good night then yeah?"

I laugh as he awakens to the realisation that his full blown erection is clearly pressing through his pants for everyone to see. He face flushes red but I offer him to sit down and cover it with a beer. Great plan! But it works, and Stan moves in closer to the fire to get the rest of his body as warm as his cock.

"So… how was she then?"

"DUDE! We only found out about each other last night really. I'm not a "sex on first date" man anyway, and neither of us wanted it. It was fantastic though. We just laid there and talked for a bit, cuddled. Just kept each other company. It was nice to actually feel like you're wanted in the situation that you're in you know? Besides – do I don't think you want to hear about a penis entering a vagina now do you?"

I playfully shudder at the mention of the female anatomy, but remind Stan that I'd had my fair share of poon in the past, and while some memories were fond ones, some smells still lingered up my nose.

"Anyway, enough about me – how did you and Kyle get on? I see your sitting down so you must have topped?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Well either that or Kyle's dick didn't make much of a dent – you're loose or he's tiny!"

"Stan, we didn't either."

His eyes scream out that he doesn't believe me for a second, but I don't offer an argument either way. If he doesn't believe me then that's his problem.

"So… Wendy last night eh?"

Stan snorts at her name before dismissing it, almost as if it never happened.

"I'm here to enjoy myself Kenny. I'm here with someone else and I'm here for someone else. I don't want to talk about whores or people that should be rape victims. So that ends that conversation. I'm gonna get dressed, see you soon dude."

Well, that told me!

X X X

Stan is never having the map again. Not when I'm driving anyway. The retard took us 45 minutes in the wrong direction and I had to stop the car to get out and have a fag before I literally pulled the hairs out of my head. Bebe sensed an opportunity and joined me outside, leaving Stan and Kyle free to talk about their respective nights. Oh, in case you're wondering, Cartman had to get a taxi yesterday mid-afternoon. Apparently he had someone who wanted to look at the house. And no doubt with Cartman's techniques he'd sell it for twice what it was worth, since clearly no-one wants to break his balls.

Bebe approached my side and took the cigarette out of my hand. I gazed her way and it was clear I wasn't getting it back, so I sparked up another one and we stood in silence for a short time.

"I'm sorry by the way Kenny."

I shoot her a puzzled look, hoping she'd carry on

"I kinda feel like I ruined the weekend."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because of me and Stan. Because of Wendy showing up and everything that happened Friday night. Because this was supposed to be Kyle's weekend and instead there seemed to be more focus on Stan than him."

"Bebe, that's not your fault. And don't you worry either. I made sure that Kyle had a very pleasurable weekend."

I licked my lips as they curved into a smile and she laughed, although called me sick.

"No-one liked Wendy anyway. To be fair, I think Kyle actually enjoyed the drama a little bit. If that hadn't have happened then we would have got some sleep and woke up the next day to carry on. As it happened we got a proper little soap opera for 20 minutes and then went to sleep and still woke up and carried on as normal. Plus, I don't think I've seen Stan this happy and content in a long time. And I mean, like literally since he was about 8 or so. And I'm gonna give that credit to you, so thanks."

I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her in towards me. She snuggles into the crook of my shoulder and I kiss the top of her head before walking her back to the car. I knock on the window and Kyle rolls it down.

"Is it safe to come in or are you still telling Stan how awesome my dick is?"

"DUDE!"

They both scream in unison and I can't stop laughing as I get back in the car and take off – IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION – to hopefully get us home at some point this evening.

X X X

**Kyle's POV**

"So, come on. Dish the dirt dude!"

I turned round in my seat to meet Stan's happy gaze as I probed for a bit of gossip and he chuckled slightly.

"Dude, nothing happened"

"You expect me to believe that?!"

"Well… yes – the same way you will expect me to believe that nothing happened with you and Kenny."

"Ok, ok… we kissed, we cuddled… he sucked me off and I repaid the favour…"

"DUDE!"

"You wanted to know!"

"When did I say that! I was prepared to believe that nothing happened!"

"Well I want some details, so I tell you that now you tell me what really went on"

"Did you have sex?"

"No. We left it at that, and then we came out to see the show"

I smiled at the last sentence, remembering Stan going all Rambo on Wendy's ass. That was fucking epic!

"Well, I'm sorry but I can't match you there. We kissed and cuddled. We mainly talked and just had fun. Nothing went any further, honestly dude. And I actually didn't want it to either. I was more than happy with the way the night went. Plus the way she listened and offered advice, just everything she was saying and the way she was with me Friday. I fell for her so hard I thought I was gonna break bones from the impact."

Stan ducked his head quite sheepishly as he said it, but when I didn't say anything I got him to look at me again, and I hope the beaming smile on my face told him all he needed to know.

"Dude, that's fantastic! Really. Bebe is a really cool girl, and I'm really happy for both of you. God knows you deserve it too. So, when's the wedding?"

"Tomorrow"

We both paused and looked at each other before we both doubled over in laughter. It was the first time in a long time I'd seen Stan so content to talk about the girl he was interested in. Whenever he talked about Wendy he was normally complaining, or just seemed a bit distant or disinterested. With Bebe, he was engaged, happy and open with everything. In a way, it's like he's back to how he was in 3rd grade, and I have to admit that I love it

Just then I saw Kenny wrap his arm around Bebe, and Stan followed my gaze out the window to rest on them too.

"I don't think Kenny and Wendy would have ever been like that either"

Stan said it with what seemed like gratitude in his voice. Almost as if to say that his relationship could help solidify all our friendships. I could see what he meant too, we could all have each other for advice, help and stability, and I have to admit it choked me up a bit.

When I think back 5 years I don't think I could ever have predicted our lives taking these paths, and two years ago I was convinced I'd never talk to Kenny again. Now – sitting in this car at this moment – I have no doubt that life is taking the right path.

Kenny and Bebe head back towards the car and Stan and I pretend to be in conversation again as Kenny knocks on the window. I press the button on the centre console and roll the window down.

"Is it safe to come in or are you still telling Stan how awesome my dick is?"

Stan and I both scream in unison

"DUDE!"

He and Bebe laugh it off as they both get in the car, and as they take their seats Stan and I offer our partners quick kisses before Kenny starts the car and rolls of in the right direction this time to try and get us home before next weekend starts.

X X X

**Kenny's POV**

Finally – Graduation! Now we can get the fuck out of this shit heap of a school and get on with actual life. We now have all summer to do exactly as we please before college sets in. Well, work for me, college for the rest of them. Come on – you expect me to be able to afford college? I know I've been working my ass off, but that money has gone to keep a roof over my mom and sister's head. It's gone to keeping food on the table and if I'm honest – most of it has gone on Kyle too.

I should have been saving really I suppose. But then even so, I'd only been really working the last 8 months or so, and I can't see that funding 3 years of college somehow. Besides I don't really need college that much. I'm fine working where I am at the moment, but there's a new data centre opening just outside of Denver and Mr Heynham has already passed some details onto me so I think I may well get a job there. That'd be shit hot pay too (well, ok no it wouldn't but for me as it stands it would) Plus working in Denver means that I could look at getting a flat there, which means being close to Kyle.

Kyle, Stan and Bebe all applied to Denver Community College, and all three got in. This means at worst they'd be like what? An hour drive away or something? I could live with that. But the fact that I could work in Denver and would probably move instead of commute gives me hope that maybe Kyle and I could even live together for a while fairly soon! This is mental!

I'm waiting in line by the stage, waiting for everyone to go up and get their shit from the principal. I dunno why they make a big deal out of this? Maybe because this is the last time we will ever be here.

"Eric Cartman"

I break away from my daydream thought and look up at the stage. Come to think of it, I haven't seen Cartman properly in what seems like forever. And the man I see walking up on stage is definitely different. A new haircut, smart suit; I swear he's walking like a badass business beefcake dude too. I must catch up and find out what's going on with him. I notice something else though and that's the crowd.

Most people in the school have a distaste for Cartman – mainly because of his younger years. But gradually over time most people just gave up caring, and he was an acquaintance to most. The four of us stayed friends though. Not as tight knit as before but certainly not strangers. And what caught my eye is that as Cartman's name was called and he walked up on stage the room erupted with applause.

People were on their feet applauding Cartman for graduating! Even he didn't know what the fuck was happening, and his face read both shocked and grateful. The thing is I suppose, we'd all graduated. And we'd all done it together. So no matter what you thought of who walked up you still showed them the respect they deserved for getting through it. I shot a look to Stan, who was next to me (alphabet I thank you that much) and we just smiled and shook our heads as Cartman proper BMF walked off stage, waving ceremoniously as he took his seat in the crowd.

We were next, and as Stan's name was called I pulled him back quickly. He turned and looked at me puzzled and I just smiled and extended my hand.

"Well done dude"

We shook hands quickly before he disappeared on stage to yet more applause and I could see from his walk that he loved every second of it. At that moment, my heart stopped. I was next. And I couldn't breathe. I didn't want to go out there. I had a suspicion that I would walk on stage to silence for some reason, and I did NOT want to be in that situation at all.

"Kenny McCormick"

Shit.

I didn't look at anyone in the crowd as I walked on. I kept my eyes fixed on the principal until I got right in front of him, then I shook his hand and took my diploma and just wanted to get the fuck out of dodge. The crowd wasn't silent but it certainly wasn't cheering 7 bells into my ears. I felt a few people staring me down. I wish there was someone after me coming up to get their diploma, but they had breaks in between names to break up the monotony of the event and in this section, I was it.

As I started off stage I heard a voice come from the back of the room

"KENNY!"

I looked up, and everyone else looked round to see where that had come from, and I see Butters running down to me with a guitar case in his hand. What is going on now?

I was still standing up in front of everyone, and I didn't notice all the hustle and bustle behind me because my eyes were fixed on Butters running frantically. He reached the stage and put the guitar case down in front of me, opening it up to show me the contents before reaching for the mic that was offered to him.

"Hey everyone – What a great day we're all having. One big celebration of us getting through a pretty tough time in everyone's lives"

God I wish I had his confidence right about now. But then – that wouldn't have gotten me a round of applause would it?

"Now I'd like to present to you a very special person with extraordinary talent. To be accompanied by the school Senior band please give it up for Kenny McCormick!"

WHAT!

I looked around with pure fear in my eyes as I hoped to see a way out of this, and there wasn't one. The crowd started moving further forward towards the stage and it felt like they were the walls closing in on me from so many years ago. I choked under my breath and headed towards the back of the stage to ask the other band members just what the fuck is going on and they handed me a sheet of paper with some words on it. I read them through and as I neared the bottom I started to quiver. Just then, four voices made their way to my ears through the crowd.

"Ken-ny, ken-ny, ken-ny, ken-ny…"

Stan, Kyle, Bebe and Cartman had parted the crowd and were walking to the front, slowly chanting my name and starting a slow clap. I looked back at the note and read it one more time…

_"Please Kenny, please play crying one more time for me. I love that song so much and I want to hear it from you one more time before we move on and create our own music together… Kyle"_

I looked at the band and nodded to them all then I walked to the front of the stage and bent to pick the guitar up. As I did I was met with Kyle's eyes and I couldn't resist. Right there and then, in front of everyone, I leaned in and kissed him. That earned me my second silence.

I picked up the guitar and the band started up as I tore through the song Kyle had requested, putting as much emphasis into playing as possible. I wanted to show Kyle that I felt the emotion in the song and that I was passing it through to him. When I finished playing there was still silence throughout the room, so I did the only thing I knew to do. I put the guitar down back in its case and I started to walk off. Then I felt a hand grab mine and I turned back round to see Kyle had joined me on stage – a huge grin spread across his face. And this time he planted a kiss onto me. I didn't care after that. That moment made my graduation. And to top it off, the crowd chose that moment to erupt into the most deafening cheers I'd heard since we won the state football championships.

I pulled back from Kyle and mouthed "I love you" his way. He did the same. With that we embraced in a crushing hug as the crowd clapped and cheered away, before pulling away and standing side by side to face the audience. We looked at each other one last time and mentally agreed on the next action.

With diplomas in our right hand, we raised it towards the roof. The crowd followed suit and pumped their diplomas sky high. That was the single greatest sight I've ever witnessed. And it made me glad to be alive. With Kyle.


	20. Looking Back

**Well, so much for trying to get to 20 chapters. This is probably gonna keep on for a while. I'm really excited for the next few chapters though, I've taken things in a slightly different Let me know how things are progressing for you all**

**Thanks as always for all the views. All you guys are awesome for keeping reading :)**

**Kenny's POV**

* * *

4 years is an awfully short time when you've been working through it non-stop. 4 years seems like a lifetime when you're ten, and a weekend when you're 20. Looking back I kind of wish it had gone differently. Actually looking back I kind of wish it had never come around. I wish we'd have all stayed ten for the rest of our lives. I wish I could freeze frame that year and just live there for eternity.

The thought of going out and getting a job, getting a house, getting married, having kids. All that shit has for me come into perspective over the last week. And it's all come around because we're back where we started. We're back here in South Park.

I certainly wasn't expecting what I found when we drove back into town. This place looked uninhabited. It looked so different we re-programmed the sat nav three times to make sure it was definitely going to the right town. Shops were boarded up and no-one was about. No kids running around playing, no other cars on the road, no neighbours walking their dogs or shovelling their drives. Suddenly, as that realisation made its way in, I became very scared.

Let me fill you in on what happened, and what fuelled that thought process.

Stan, Bebe, Kyle and I all managed to get out of town pretty early into the summer after graduation. I'd stayed behind a bit longer because I was waiting for a job transfer to take place before I could do what I was planning. Plus we also had to wait for Cartman to be ready.

After the incident in the woods with Wendy we'd become a bit closer to Cartman, particularly because we were there to help him through the eventual sale of his mom's house. He'd managed to add on an extra 50 thousand to the value price and had someone willing to take that price hook line and sinker. How he does it I don't know, but he also managed to get into DCC so we decided as a group that we would take South Park to Denver and look at rooming together to bring down the cost.

Stan and Kyle had found a few apartments on the outskirts that were really nice, and Cartman and I had pottered along to cast our approval before heading back to South Park to finish up business while they started setting up shop. I stayed closer to Cartman during that time also because both our reasoning for staying in South Park longer was that we were here because of family.

I promised my mom that I was going to take care of her. I was in Denver to work for us and I wouldn't leave them out of pocket so there were two choices that I gave her. Either I send her money every month to keep things going, or she ups sticks and moves to Denver with us so I can support her more personally. I preferred the second option. Having her and Karen close to me would have been such a bonus even if it did mean I was somewhat holding on to the past. But I also couldn't help but feel like I'd be abandoning them otherwise. Dad was still in jail, Kevin walked out years ago and I was all they had left. I gave mom some time to think it over before heading over to Cartman's to help him pack a few things up.

Two weeks had passed and the house we were renting was pretty much all there. There were only two things left to do now. Pack up all our stuff and move it out… and say goodbye to our town…

No-one took it well, but it had to be done. We had to have some life experience that was outside our small mountain town, and we needed independence, freedom and the chance to make our own mistakes.

And that's exactly what we did. The 5 of us in that house made it through college (I'm talking generally here, some things obviously exclude me), made it through the breaks, got jobs, lost jobs, helped Cartman use his dick for once (oh yeah, I'm going to take the most credit for that!) drank too much, pissed people off, made new friends, lost new friends. Everything that we could immerse ourselves in we did, and we were all there for each other whether it succeeded or failed. I thought that was what life was about?

The income I earned as an IT systems engineer kept everyone's student loans low (no-one mooched off me, they all paid their way) and supported my mom and sister who did decide moving to a small suburban flat would be better – and it was fairly cheap too! On top of that we had a damn good time – all the while we weren't being little stubborn kids having a temper tantrum.

I must say, Kyle was the worst for that. As much as I love him he really was a 14 year old girl at heart. But then, I love him to bits so you know, take the good with the bad and all. Plus I dare say his lips work magic around me… mmmmmmm yeah!

That all seems like simply a dream now. I can't relive any moments from the last few years now that I'm back here, looking at streets that are familiar yet foreign. Seeing buildings that are old yet unrecognisable. Coming back to South Park it's now clear why we had to get out. This place isn't what it used to be. This place just isn't home anymore.

I pull the van up outside an old friends residence. One that hasn't graced this building in too long. My mom and sister get out and start moving boxes into the house as I walk to the hardware store to get some keys cut. A passing comment by the worker cements the reality of where we were. Moving into the Donovan's old house.

Clyde – that name was a distant memory. A name on a facebook page, a long forgotten number on the phone contacts. Yet it almost seemed intrusive to move into the house he grew up in. It would have been the case no matter where we moved to. Most of this town was inhabited by my friends. It seems all of them have gone now. And it makes logical sense for me to move back here. I got a promotion at work and with that was in charge of setting up and running a new data centre in the mountains about 10 minutes away from South Park. There was no longer a reason to stay in Denver then, and mom was happy to move back to the area. Karen was too, most of her school friends were still here finishing off their years before college and so if she had a chance to enjoy the last of it then I wasn't going to stop her.

It doesn't take away the pain I have right now though. I'm glad that I know she'll be happy, but walking these streets now brings tears to my eyes. So much is missing, so much is gone, and yet my mind is telling me it needs to be here. I walk down the familiar street and stop a few feet from the two houses I missed the most. Rather, the two houses who's occupants I miss the most. As I stand looking up at the bedroom window, he approaches.

"Hey Ken"

"Hey Ike"

We enjoy a quick hug before settling into short conversation.

"Have you heard anything?"

"No. You?"

"Not for a while."

"How's things around here? I seem to have missed a lot! Nothing here is what I remember from 4 years ago, or 10 years ago ha. I guess things just change when you're not here?"

"Ken, things have always been like this. I was looking back on pictures not too long ago and all the backgrounds are the same. It's the people that change Kenny, not the location. South Park has always been like this. But you haven't. You, Stan, Kyle – you've always been changing and growing, and until you got out you wouldn't have known any different."

I sigh at the realisation that the kid is right. And as I realise that I also realise that he's not a kid anymore either. He's 19 – a man in his own right.

"I don't know what's happened Ike. Last week you were 3 years old being knighted in Canada for saving the Princess, now you're off to start your life as a man. When did that all happen?"

He rests a hand on my shoulder

"One simple reason Ken. Life sucks. Always has, always will. And it's job is to make you feel sad and shit for as much time as possible."

"Yeah I figured that out a long time ago. I think I just forgot it during their college years. Anyway I best get back."

Ike opened his front door and began in as I set off in the opposite direction. I couldn't help it though. I turned and called out to him.

"Ike… if you hear from him, or see him… can you just say I said hi?"

"Will do Ken, and feel free to pop in whenever if your back here now. Don't be a stranger"

I walked back home and crashed into my room when I got there. I mellowed over thoughts in my brain before they overtook me and flooded my eyes with soft tears. I didn't outright cry, but I did enough to let people know I was upset. Enough for Karen to pop her head in and check on me.

Karen has really grown into a fantastic woman. She might only be 18 but fuck me it's like she has the mind of a 30 year old. She's so intelligent and makes so much sense of the world. It's weird, in a way our roles have reversed, and at the moment she's the one protecting me from everything. She doesn't have to say anything tonight though, and just cuddles up to me on my bed as I weep into her arms.

"Do you know how long it's been Karen?"

"Since what?"

"Ten years ago I lost every friend I ever had in the world. Five years after that they all came back. Then within a year we all graduate and one by one they're gone again. Four years ago I left this town and set off for adulthood, for responsibility, for commitment, love, friendship. A year ago… he left. And now I'm back to square one. I feel like the last ten years have been a complete waste of time. How the hell do I go forward from here Karen? What is the point of the next ten years?"

"I don't know Kenny. I don't know. But how are you going to find out if you don't live them? You know he's coming back at some point don't you?"

I stayed silent, I think that slightly worried her a bit

"Don't you? Kenny?"

"The last thing he said to me was "if you can't accept that this is what I need, and want, then what's the point? I'm leaving in a week, what happens after that I'm going to take as it comes." And I haven't heard from him at all. I haven't heard from any of them!"

Here's the bottom line. Once again, I was left with no-one. After 2 years of college Cartman was picked up by a giant insurance firm and was offered a high 5 figure starting salary in their Florida offices. In his third year, Stan was offered a scholarship at another university to play football. He was also scouted by Denver to play professional football. While he took Denver's offer to stay close, he was only in the team for 4 months before being bought by the New York Giants, and thanks to him being safe and secure out there, and me scraping through here, in his final year Kyle accepted a PhD and work placements in New York City.

We'd had a few problems anyway and I guess the opportunity just came up at the wrong time. The bottom line is he left. He and Stan left, and Cartman left, and Bebe left. Everyone had just disappeared on me without a word and I was left to crawl back to what I knew best, back to an existence only just bearable for the average person.

Somehow, I'd managed once again to lose Kyle.


	21. Back to Square One

**I think I'm nearing the end now guys. I've got it fairly figured out but that may of course change as I write the next few chapters (I think I've got two or three pretty much in my head) I'm really liking the way this story is panning out, and I hope the continued readers are feeling the same**

**Thanks for the kick ass reviews guys - really appreciate each one. And thanks for keeping the view count rolling over. **

**Kyle's POV**

* * *

I opened the door and stepped out into the cool Colorado air, making sure to take a long deep breath through my nose. I shifted my eyes around and tried to reassemble the landscape in my head. I pulled back momentarily and threw the cab driver a twenty before grabbing my bag and heading over towards the coffee shop. I can't believe after all these years I'm actually back here. More importantly I can't believe it doesn't feel like home. And a part of me wonders if it feels that way because of a certain absence.

I enter the shop and approach the counter, ordering a coffee and reaching in to grab my wallet.

"No charge, and it's on a tab too"

I look up and it takes me a while but I slowly recall the face in front of me.

"Tweek?"

The man smiles broadly and confidently in my direction and I offer it back his way.

"How are you dude? It's been a while!"

"Still using dude after all these years? I see you haven't changed much!"

"Some things never change Tweek"

"Yep. I know that, look where I am! Couldn't escape the family business after all. Not that I mind. For what I need it for the money's great, and I got to stay with Butters after his family kind of flipped on him being with me – but we made ends meet."

"You've lost your twitch!"

"Thank him for that"

He pointed out the back and I leaned over the counter to see Butters with a pile of papers in front of him. He looks up as Tweek whistles and as he sees me he offers a big wave.

"He went to Denver for a year too, but he found an accountancy course online and decided to stay with me while he worked through it. Thanks to him we're now turning a profit in here. He'll be out in a minute. Go grab yourself a seat with them."

I turned and saw Stan and Bebe sitting at a table by the window and Stan caught my gaze as I grabbed the cup and headed their way. He stood and we hugged for a while. Even that was different, no super best friend embrace, no kiss on the cheek. Just a friendly hug between two old pals that hadn't seen each other in forever. I offered the same Bebe's way before sitting down next to her.

"Well this has been a long time coming! How've you been man?"

"Well, you have to call me Doctor now! New York was mental, and the PhD nearly killed me, but now I can walk into virtually any research company in the country and get a 6-figure salary before opening my mouth so I'd consider it worth it"

"Well that's a shite sight better than us I can tell you! But we're both happy and settled so I guess we're where we want to be at the moment."

Stan had played football for the Giants for about 8 months. I saw him on TV a bunch of times and I kind of saw it as a way of keeping in touch with him without needing to be there. He could probably be one of the best in the NFL by now, but Bebe had got a nursing degree and was working her way up in a hospital in Denver. Since she couldn't travel around with him, Stan decided to get back to his old team in Denver – for literally about a tenth of the money – and stayed with her. They'd bought a house and got engaged; damn I'd missed too much!

I kept in touch with Stan mainly through the internet sites we used as kids. I'm glad he kept Facebook going even after that big old fiasco, because otherwise we may have lost touch. I had to say I was extremely jealous of how he managed to handle moving on in life whilst keeping the past in touch. That's the reason I went to NYC in the first place – to move on. Unfortunately I was too naïve to also handle the past, and all I could remember about that moment is how similar it was to before. I hated it, I hated me and I hated him too.

After half an hour of back and forth, sharing stories and recapping memories another figure walked by and shadowed our table. Another figure we'd been waiting for. And the arrogant bastard didn't even order a coffee – Tweek brought it over and sat it in front of him like a slave. After all these years he's still an asshole…

"Here's one for you. A Jew, a hippy and a hoe are sitting in a coffee shop. The end"

We all flip him the finger before starting to laugh

"Still a fat fuck Cartman"

Which of course was bullshit. By now Cartman looked like he weighed less than me. I suppose technically Stan is now the "fat" one considering he put on some serious bulk playing football. Difference is, Marsh is all muscle. And doesn't he know it!

We finished our coffees and Stan invited us back to their house for more comfort while we talked. He also offered us their spare room, which Cartman declined; apparently not only would he not like the view of any human flesh beyond arms and face, he's also petrified of sleeping near a "Jew Rat" in case the uprising begins. I shrug it off and state I'd get a better night's sleep without his gravitational pull affecting me.

As we entered Stan's apartment I felt a sense of belonging. The décor closely matched his old house, the colour scheme, the furniture and placement. Everything. Obviously the physical layout was different but it was as close as could be.

"I see you didn't completely escape then?"

He smiled and shook his head

"Not everything about the past is worth remembering, but the past is the reason you are who you are. The past brought you to this moment, with knowledge and understanding that you wouldn't have without it. So why not hold on to the things that bring a smile to my face, or make me feel comfortable?"

"Ok what have you done with the real Stan Marsh? I knew there was something up with you!"

I playfully took his hat off and looked under it, before crossing to the cupboard and opening it to feign an investigation. He laughed me off before plopping onto the couch.

"Dude, you know how many re-runs of Jerry Springer they're showing at the moment? And how in love with that show Bebe is? I got pretty much every final thought memorised. I'm just glad I picked one there that made sense!"

Bebe comes in and jams a beer into his lap

"Don't you insult my Jerry, Mr!"

He sniggers and I join him as Bebe hands a beer my way.

"Don't you encourage him, either!"

At that point, Cartman re-enters from the bathroom and we all turn round to the sight of him buckling his belt up.

"Dude, seriously?! It's been what? Two, three years maybe and you decide its acceptable to lay a giant turd up in here?!"

"Stan, seriously… I had to take a dump, there's your toilet and I don't care. Now I see beers floating around and there isn't one in my hand… why is that I wonder?"

And right on cue Stan lifts one up by the plastic pull strap with his foot and launches it Cartman's way. It was actually pretty impressive. As Cartman caught it and opened the contents on himself (dickhead – it had just been shaken up from the launch by Stan's foot!) I slid into the armchair and turned towards the TV. As Bebe disappeared out the room with Cartman, Stan flicked the channels until he found what he was looking for. Dirty Sanchez – really!

I'd watched it a couple of times at Denver CC and in NYC, but I haven't watched it for months now. And I don't watch it because it reminds me sometimes, of what he used to do. When we were younger and everyone would pay him. The show just reminded me of him.

X X X

**Stan's POV**

My goal was to get him to talk, and I knew this show would probably do it. I didn't want to pry or lead him on too much in case he didn't want to talk about it – but I knew he would. Low and behold within about 5 minutes, Kyle let out a sigh loud enough for me to hear, and so I picked that moment to offer him the chance.

"S'up dude?"

"Just… stuff you know?"

"No man, I don't. Remember, we don't see each other every second of every hour of every day anymore. I still love you more than anyone, and I'd still do anything for you but we have to actually talk about stuff now we're adults you know?"

Kyle sighs before taking a quick mouthful of beer before thinking about his words. I could always tell when we were going to get deep into a conversation. I can hear the cogs grinding in his head. Just then Bebe came back into the room

"I'm gonna run to the store hun, get a few more things for dinner – anything I can get you two?"

"No I'm good thanks – CARTMAN!"

He pokes his head round the door without saying anything.

"Anything you want from the shops?"

"Yeah actually… could I get-"

"No, you can go with Bebe and decide then."

"Eh!"

Bebe knew what I was hinting at though, and pulled Cartman out the door before he could protest further. Kyle looked at me and offered thanks. Clearly I was getting rid of them so that we could talk. Bebe knew that; that's why she made an excuse to leave.

"So?"

I relaxed back into the chair, trying to give the impression that it was ok to be open. Kyle in turn leaned forward to begin.

"I just – I don't know… I just can't seem to be able to do what you do man. I thought the point of it was to leave the past behind and move on you know? I thought I needed to go out and have other experiences besides this. I know looking back I handled it wrong, but was I wrong to want what I went for?"

"Kyle, you weren't wrong for wanting something new, but if I'm honest yeah you went about it the wrong way, completely. You only really thought about yourself in the grand scheme of things. You didn't stop to think about what would happen and once you went you didn't look back."

"Stan, you did the same. You went off to play football in the big leagues and didn't realise how it affected anyone either!"

"That's true. And I do regret the way I handled things. But I didn't jump ship. I talked to Bebe about things and we worked a way round it. When it got to a point that that wasn't working anymore, we changed with each other to make things work. Plus I kept in touch with everyone I could. I didn't disappear and bury myself in what I was doing. But dude, don't take this the wrong way. I don't blame you – you had a dream and you went for it. If I were in your shoes then I'd have done the same. The difference between you and me is actually nothing to do with us – you know how he was with us. How he was during high school. He handles things differently, and the point is I don't think you knew how to handle that situation either."

Kyle looked at me slightly puzzled at the statement. I took a swig before continuing.

"Ok, here's something I didn't learn from Jerry Springer. Here's one thing my dad was very good at. And it's something none of us could control and we were probably destined to screw up from the beginning. You may be a doctor but listen to the agony aunt now ok?"

He smiled slightly at the analogy. I wasn't expecting to ever be giving advice to Kyle, more I expected this advice from him. How time has changed us.

"Right. How long have we all been friends for? 20 odd years nearly? That's a long time to be in each other's pockets for. And living in South Park you don't really get the chance to interact with very many people. When you're around people like that when you're 10 years old, man life is great. You don't really care about the bigger picture and your biggest argument is over who gets the red fire truck yeah? Or who gets to be player 1 on xbox. You have a hissy fit, break up for a week then get back together again. The problem is although you all grew up together you all have different innate abilities, hidden traits hardwired into you, and by the time you get to adulthood you have certain needs and goals you want to achieve. They are gonna differ between people, and everyone should go after that with all the energy they have. The thing is when you're as close as we all were there's also a side of us that never wants things to change, and because nothing ever changes in this town we've never really had to deal with that. Throw that unusual change in with new goals and aspirations and put it with two people that don't know how to have an adult conversation and you get what you two had."

I could see Kyle's brain slowly melting under the heat of the information I was pushing into his lap. I wasn't done yet though and I felt so high and mighty for giving him advice for once that I didn't want to stop.

"When I started playing football, especially for Denver, I met a lot of new people from new areas and with different backgrounds. It took a while but I had to adapt to them, I had to see things from their perspective, respect their wishes and discuss things with them in a way appropriate to the situation. Before you upped and left you never had that opportunity. You only ever really hung out with us in college, you never went anywhere or did anything outside the box. I can imagine that when you finally turned and wanted to go you held it in until it exploded. The thing is though, that kind of needed to happen – because otherwise you wouldn't have been able to go out and learn how to deal with that situation. In your case, you needed to sever all ties and escape somewhere else in order to grow into the adult sitting in front of me now. In your case you've had to work the opposite way, and now you've had those experiences you should be able to use all that to build up what you left behind."

"Stan that's all well and good, but my problem is I want to be back when I was 10, when we were all fucking happy you know? Not a care in the world!"

"Kyle, I'd love that too, honestly. But it's not going to happen and yeah it sucks, and I feel like crying when I think back to the times we had. But I know I can always visit them in my mind and smile at the good times. You need to talk to him, and move on in a way that's appropriate for you. Then you can look back and laugh."

"I got out the taxi when I arrived here and looked around. I didn't recognise anything. Nothing felt like home to me."

"I had that same feeling when I first came back. You know why though?"

He shook his head. To be fair I didn't know why either, but I had a theory, and right now I thought I might be able to pretend that it was the truth.

"Because the people I'd left to do my own thing, they weren't here. There wasn't something I could look past to see what happiness was still here. When I saw something that reminded me of you, it hurt, because I remember how we left each other's lives and how we weren't what we used to be. But that is where we pick up from now. We haven't talked about our reasoning for why we went separate ways, but it doesn't matter, because we can look past that and see the moment now. That's what you've learned while being away Kyle. That's why your past was vital. The way things happened was vital in shaping you. And all you need to do now is reconnect with the past in a positive way, and then you can move forward."

He took another swig of beer, eyeing me while he did it. A puzzled look appeared on his face as he noticed I didn't join him in a drink. But I think he knew what was coming anyway.

I threw my phone in his direction.

"Call him."


	22. A Simple Phone Call

**Right, I'm going to apologise in advance to all you lovely readers, as I'm probably going to be spamming the updates over the next week. I've finished writing after a sledgehammer hit me in the face a few nights back and i couldn't stop writing. Sorry if you'd prefer to wait a while between updates but I'm really excited to get this out there and I hope you'll enjoy the conclusion of this story**

**Without further ado, here is chapter 22 of 24...**

**Kenny's POV**

* * *

This is what I love about work. I wake up in the morning, start work at 8, finish at 5, come home and do whatever I like. No homework to catch up on, no gossip or whining around the corridors, no gangs or outsiders. I show up, work, leave and repeat until the weekend. And it's great

It means that I can be home by half 5, hit the gym at 6, get back and eat at 8, and settle down to TV in the evening with my mom and sister before turning in for the night. This is what I'd always expected life to be, and I'm glad it's turned out this way.

"Ken, can you help me with this?"

Karen's voice is soft through the kitchen. I'd kind of flipped on her a few times for disturbing me after work and/or during a gym cool down and it caused a little rift between us for a while. Thankfully it was easily repairable with a simple apology – amazing how they work! – And we're back to normal. Although you'd have thought a kid in their last year of high school wouldn't need any more help on assignments or coursework. I grab a protein shake out the fridge before approaching her and settling in beside her.

"I can try Karen; you know you can wipe the floor with me on this stuff though don't you?"

"Ken, you're the smartest guy I know and this stuff makes no sense to me at all! We only started looking over it last week and the finals for it are in a month. I haven't got a clue!"

I lay a hand on her shoulder in comfort and take a quick glance at the papers in front of her. If I'm honest too, what's written on the page is completely foreign to me! This is why I love Google! I head to the front door to grab my bag and fish out my work laptop, setting it up next to us on the table. I love working in IT. Not only did I get a free laptop for me, I managed to get a desktop for the house and a free wireless router. Like a boss!

After about 2 hours we finally get to the end of the papers and Karen thanks me with a kiss on the cheek before she disappears up to her room. I check on mom before I follow her upstairs and head off into the bathroom to sink down into a nice cold bath.

Yes – Cold bath! I know it's about 10 below zero outside but I've had a hardcore gym session and my sister has just melted what's left of my brain so I need to literally chill. After finishing up and drying off I head back to my room, grabbing my laptop and placing it on my bed. Looking at the time I think I definitely have time to catch up on my man-to-hand relationship tonight, and I pull up a random choice of one of my more regularly visited porn sites.

I make sure the volume is muted before clicking the recently added tab and scrolling quickly through the results. Fuck sake! Considering I pay 30 dollars a month for this shit I expect it to remember that I don't want women getting smashed by big black dicks. I just want some man on man loving! I've only updated that on my sign-in profile 50 odd times, you think they'd get it right once in a while. Fate doesn't seem to want me to carry on though, because I didn't have the laptop plugged in and now the battery decides to die.

I will just give up in a minute.

I crawl over to my bag and grab the power pack out of it, plugging it in to the nearest source before heading back to the bed… right as my phone goes off…

WILL SOMEONE LET ME HAVE A GODDAMN WANK IN PEACE FOR FUCK SAKE!

Clearly I didn't just blurt that out loud but man is this starting to get on my last nerve tonight. I scan the room and find the light of my phone coming from underneath the bed cover that I'd tossed out of the way, and I move very slowly over to it in the hopes that whoever's on the other end would give up and try later. After 10 rings it was just plain annoying me so I grabbed it and checked the caller ID

**Stanny Boy**

Funny, I only talked to him this morning when he asked me how things were. We've been in slightly more regular contact since he moved back here with Bebe, and I've seen him a couple of times. But still, there's a divide in South Park not quite as extreme as the railroad tracks used to be; it's still obvious where the rich are and where the not so rich are. Stan and I are still on opposite sides.

Best see what he wants I suppose. I slide the bar across to unlock the phone and answer the call

"Hey dude, s'up?"

"…"

"Stan? You there dude?"

"…"

I think you called me by accident, maybe the phone did some weird shit in your pocket or you sat on it or whatever, but if you're there I can't here you. I'll give you a call tomorrow dude…"

"Kenny…?"

"… who's this? Where's Stan?"

"Stan's here. He wanted me to…"

"Who are you? What's going on and why do you have Stan's phone?"

"I'm back Kenny… I'm back and I need to talk to you. Will you talk to me?"

"Talk to you – I don't even know who the f… oh my god!"

No-one could see me but my mouth was gaping, and my brain had overloaded itself. I used the lines I was saying to give myself time to think as to who it could be on the phone. For some reason the first name I dismissed came to me as soon as I heard the voice, and it looks like now that's exactly who this is. I have no idea what to say, and I struggle to even breath at the moment.

"Kenny… are you there?"

"…Kyle…?"

X X X

**Kyle's POV**

I fumbled the phone as it sailed towards my face and shot Stan a glare as I managed to catch it. He laughed it off and raised the bottle to his lips, keeping his eyes trained on me. It's like he's making sure I make this call.

"What the hell am I meant to say to him?"

"Um… hello?"

He let out a slight chuckle as he uttered the word. Well done Stan – Grade A answer right there!

"You're serious? Just hello? After the way I left it I'm supposed to just say hello?"

"Dude, did you not listen to a word I just said? Now the time to mend what broke. The first thing to say to someone is hello. Now isn't the time to bring up old issues, now's the time to greet an old friend who you haven't seen or talked to for a while. So…"

Confusion filled my face and Stan just let out a disgruntled moan

"What did you say to me when we met back up?"

"We talked about everything! We just carried on as if we'd seen each other the day before."

"There you go. That's what happens now too."

"It's a bit more complicated than that now Stan. I love him, I gave him parts of myself I'd never give to anyone, told him so much. We confided in each other, opened up to each other. This isn't just another friendship we're talking about – it's Kenny. And… why are you smiling?"

"Dude, listen to yourself!"

Ok, if Stan was trying to make me submit to a major meltdown then he's certainly succeeded.

"You're so worried about this; you think it's not going to work? There are three words you just said to me that prove things will be ok, and you'll find the right words to say when the time comes. You just said 'I love him'. Present tense dude. There's something there still, and that's why this is going to be ok. Trust me."

He patted me on the shoulder as he finished and smiled gently. I looked up at him and his gaze filled me with confidence. I cleared my mind and took a deep breath before turning to the phone and finding his number. I closed my eyes, hit "call" and put the phone to my ear. What I heard made my hear t stop and left me speechless.

"Hey dude, s'up?"

"…"

"Stan? You there dude?"

"…"

I think you called me by accident, maybe the phone did some weird shit in your pocket or you sat on it or whatever, but if you're there I can't here you. I'll give you a call tomorrow dude…"

"Kenny…?"

There it was. I came back to my senses after taking in his voice. It was the first time I'd talked to him in a couple of years at least. I cast my mind back to the last time I saw him. Such anger on both ends, such regret after I left him here. I have no idea what he would say or how he'd react, but as Stan said, I was willing to try at least. Even if it just meant we talked again, that would be enough to make me happy. To know that we could be civil and see each other again – that's all I really wanted.

"… who's this? Where's Stan?"

"Stan's here. He wanted me to…"

"Who are you? What's going on and why do you have Stan's phone?"

"I'm back Kenny… I'm back and I need to talk to you. Will you talk to me?"

"Talk to you – I don't even know who the f… oh my god!"

"Kenny… are you there?"

"…Kyle…?"

A lump caught in my throat. It's been so long since I heard him say my name, and it gave me goosebumps. I left it a minute before talking again – I wanted to let this sink in for both of us, and I also wanted to give him a chance to make a decision now whether he wanted to talk or not. In the silence that followed I heard his sobs break through the receiver, and I let myself go, crying as I continued.

"Hello Kenny. How's things going?"

"Things are good at the moment, hows things with you?"

"Yeah things are looking good. Finally finished education and now ready to join the real world. Only took me, what, 23 odd years?"

"Yeah, welcome to life"

He lets out a small chuckle and I follow while sniffing back a few tears. Stan placed another beer in front of me and flopped into the armchair.

"Ken, I don't want to dwell on what happened too much but I want to say that I'm so sorry for everything that's wrong with the past. And I don't think I'd ever be able to make it up to you… but I want to at least make a start. Do you think maybe we could meet up soon and catch up? I'd like to see you and start making up for lost time."

Kenny let out a small sigh as he thought about my offer. I heard a click on the line and I looked at the phone quickly. Phew, for a minute there I thought he'd hung up on me. The call duration was still going up though.

"Kyle… I'd… yeah I'd like too. But… I just… I think I need some time to process this. This is huge! I mean… wow!"

I couldn't quite tell if his voice was happy or concerned at the moment. I didn't say anything; I let him carry on seeing if I could pick up any more clues. I heard another sigh and then… a voice? Stan?

"Kenny, get off your ass and come to mine now. I've got beer and tomorrow is Saturday. Bring some snacks. See you in half an hour ok?"

"Stan what the fuck! Get off the goddamn line!"

"What? Your being a little pussy ass bitch, stop being a douche!"

"You're a turd-face, ass-master!"

"Oh you donkey raping motherfucker! I am gonna fuck you up!"

"STAN GET OFF THE FUCKING LINE!"

The line went silent. I leaned forward to see if I could see Stan who I guess has migrated to the kitchen to begin his onslaught, but he's out of sight. The phone caught my attention again, this time because of clear laughter coming from the other end. Kenny took a few seconds to calm himself down before starting again.

"Stan… thanks man. Kyle…"

"Yeah?"

"See you in half an hour."


	23. Face Up To It

**I know, I know... spamming the updates. Want to get this out there though now it's written so i hope you lovelys all enjoy it!**

**thanks once more to all my readers and reviewers - much love to you mwah :)**

**The penultimate chapter! Final chapter will probably be up on Friday (which for me is two days time, for all those with a time difference making it a different day)**

**Stans POV**

* * *

The doorbell rings and I force Kyle out of the kitchen and onto the couch. I didn't actually expect Kenny to agree to come over but I thought winding Kyle up and hearing us back and forth like old times might help him decide that it could be a good idea. Thankfully he bought into it and as I'd text Bebe asking her to go round to one of her friends I guessed it wouldn't be her.

"Now listen to me dude, this is going to be so hard for you two, I appreciate that. But you've gotta try and act fairly casual ok? Just act as if you haven't seen him for a week – and also try to act as if you weren't stuffing his ass in most weekends ok?"

"DUDE! The fuck!"

I let forth a laugh as I made my way to the door. I planned now to show Kyle how to interact with his former boyfriend. Hopefully he'd observe and take notes then follow suit. I pulled the door open and there he stood, a small grin on his face and a crate in his arms. I took them off him and brought them quickly inside. Kenny stalled to pick up his bags so I dumped the crate on Kyle and told him to get them in the kitchen

"Come in dude, take a pew!"

I saw Kyle was out so I came in close to Kenny to whisper to him.

"Go easy on him dude, I know this'll be hard for you too but just friends ok? See how it goes?"

Kenny nodded as he pulled me into a hug. Just as Kyle walked in – excellent timing! Now get your ass over here and do the same.

"Hey Kyle…"

"Kenny, man Jesus it's been too long."

Kyle offers his hand forward and Kenny simply smirks at him.

"Put your hand away. When have we ever shaken hands? Come and give me a hug!"

Kyle's smile widens as he walks briskly into Kenny's arms, and it looks like he took my advice to heart. The hug is filled with emotion but both men stand tall and strong, exactly how Kenny and I hugged. Kyle pulls back and gently moves his hand up to Kenny's face, stroking his cheek… WHAT! No! Too fast you dickhead!

Kyle settles his hand down quickly to rest on Kenny's shoulder and pushes him back a bit, his eyes wandering up and down. Admittedly, since Kyle last saw him, Kenny has done some serious work. He's gained a good bit of weight – all muscle – and I bet if he took his shirt off Kyle would simply melt into the floor.

"Damn Ken, you look good! You look healthy."

"Thanks Kyle, you're looking well yourself."

Kenny turns Kyle to face into the room and leads him to the couch.

"Now how's about you go get that crate open? I'm thirsty and I brought a new game over too so let's get down to it shall we?"

Kyle looked puzzled but disappeared to the kitchen once more and came back out with 3 cans, I suddenly realised – CARTMAN! I'd left him in the lurch a bit and he'd probably be back any…

*knock knock*

"Ah shit. Kyle get another can would you – I forgot about Cartman!"

"Ah man why does lardass have to be here too! He best not get his greasy KFC fingers all over the game case!"

"Maybe you could wipe them clean for him Ken?"

"Dude… sicker than Brazilian fart porn right there"

Kyle recoiled in horror at the mention of porn, whilst I laughed into the door and Kenny just sat there scratching his balls. Yep – it was definitely old times. I grabbed the handle and Cartman half opened the door for me as he entered with about 6 weeks' worth of junk food.

"Ok, I was too long looking for veg stuff so the Jew didn't have to eat Bambi, and I… oh, hey Kenny. Didn't know you were here. Luckily poor people go without so you won't mind that I got you nothing!"

"I'll just take a chunk off your leg Cartman. Should feed me and Africa for a month or so"

"I would offer you my third leg but your sister pretty much finished that off!"

"Dude, you're going there again? Seriously?"

"Kenny, you know I'm only joking about this shit man, and you know me too!"

"And I know your mom tried the coat hanger method 6 times on you but it kept breaking under the foetal weight."

And that's pretty much how the evening continued. Back and forth, back and forth with silence while we ate. Kenny hung out the window for a smoke while Kyle and I fired up Guitar Hero. Cartman once again decided to victimise my toilet so Kenny and Kyle barricaded the door so he couldn't get out. It was damn funny until the chair they used started to crack under the constant slams from Cartman's ass against the door so I removed it and got out the way in time to see him fly against the now open door and fall flat on his face in the middle of the room.

This is exactly what I was saying to Kyle a few hours ago. This was old times. This is where the happy memories come from, this moment right here is a new memory to add to the pot and recall at a later date. There's no bitterness, no accusations, no hurt or torment. The past will come back into conversation eventually, it has to. But for now, we're just once again enjoying each other's company. The four of us, like it used to be. Like it should be…

X X X

The clock hit 2 am and Kenny softly lay the game controller on the floor after once again whipping my ass on F1. I don't know what it is about racing games but I've just never got the hang of them. Admitting defeat I pull the disc out of the console and push a soft music cd in for a while. As I turn around I can't help but grin and softly sigh to myself. At some point in the last hour or so Kyle had shifted on the sofa so that he was lying across Kenny's lap, and he hadn't moved when we decided to start racing. Eventually Kyle had drifted off, leaving Kenny somewhat trapped. But now Kenny was looking down on him and softly stroking his hair. He seemed content enough with it too; I thought this was going to be a lot harder than it's turning out to be!

Kenny let forth his own sigh and without raising his head began to talk softly. I don't know if he was talking to me or Kyle; maybe even himself. But he was clearly searching for something.

"Where did we go wrong? Why did we have to fuck things up again?"

I walked over to the couch and knelt in front of him. His eyes shifted from Kyle to me; puffy, reddened eyes that signal he's very near to letting go.

"Ken, you two just chose different paths. It's something neither of you had done before that time so it's natural for you to handle it in an extreme way. I'm sure you both have your reasons. Both have your excuses and justifications. You'll get to that in time. But… this right here – what we had going on tonight – is what I love about all you guys. It's why Kyle and I called each other super best friends. I don't think there's a thing in the world that can keep us all apart indefinitely. All you need to do is listen to him. Then he listens to you. Explain everything, without arguing or raising your voice. Once you've done that, and understand each other then we can all put this behind us."

"I just want to forget all these mistakes. I wish they'd never happened. I wish neither of us had done anything to hurt each other and we could just be you know? Why can't the past just die and stay buried?"

"Because the past is who you are now. The past is who he is now. You both need to learn to adapt and change in ways that make being around each other fun. And lets face it, there are tons of fun memories from the past with all of us aren't there?"

"Yeah there are. But they always seem outweighed by the bad. How do you do it Stan? How did you look past Wendy's mistakes? How do you look past Bebe's?"

"Because I loved Wendy and I love Bebe. I look past them because I know that the mistakes they made aren't what define who I love. They are a part of them for sure, but mistakes can be put right. Hurt can be healed. And love blinds us to how stupid we are for ignoring those mistakes…"

"Exactly! Any normal person would look at the situation and say "leave". Why don't we?"

"Because love also makes us unimaginably happy. It gives us someone to protect, cherish and lean on. Someone to support and for us to be supported by."

"…he hurt me bad. I know I did the same all those years ago, but why if he hurt me do I feel sick now with him here?"

"Kenny… you still love him don't you?"

Kenny squeezed his eyes closed as a few tears rolled down his cheeks, and I put my hand up to his face to wipe them clean before stroking down his face to settle on his shoulder. He didn't need to answer, I knew the moment I saw him looking down on Kyle. And I'm pretty sure based on the way Kyle was acting earlier that he felt the same. Now these two need to just grow some balls and talk!

"Kenny, I think we've done enough for tonight. Go home and sleep it off. Come back tomorrow when you're fresh and we'll look at sorting this out once and for all. No more arguments, no more wallowing in sorrow at a past you can't change. Let's look at moving forward ok?"

He nodded and looked down again. Kyle was still sleeping soundly but Kenny needed to get out. I helped him lift Kyle's head up as Kenny slipped out via the back of the couch and I rested Kyle back down gently. I led Kenny to the door and before he went, he grabbed me up in his arms and pulled me close. I could feel him tremble slightly and I knew he was scared of the immediate future. I kissed him quickly on the side of his head and stroked his hair.

"Everything's going to fall into place Ken, don't worry about it. Don't think on things either – this all needs to flow from inside ok?"

He nodded and wiped his nose once he pulled away and headed out into the corridor, offering thanks and a wave. I closed the door quietly and stood with my back to the wall as I let out a sigh of relief. The first hurdle is cleared.

I headed back over to the sofa where Kyle was still sprawled out and I chuckled slightly at the sight. I gently grabbed hold of his feet and lifted them so I could sit on the end, letting his feet rest in my lap.

"So – I'm guessing you heard it all? I'm hoping you did anyway"

"How did you know I was awake?"

He kept his eyes closed, but a small smirk had made its way to his lips.

"Dude, I had what? 13 years' worth of sleepovers at yours? The amount of times we pretended to be asleep when your mom came in so we could get up afterwards and play games – I know exactly how you fake being asleep!"

He opened his eyes and pushed himself up so that he was leaning on his elbows. Rubbing his forehead in confusion and wonder he took a deep breath in and held it for a while.

"What the hell am I going to do Stan?"

"You still love him too then yeah?"

His sheepish eyes gave me that answer.

"Get some sleep, meet him tomorrow and talk. Like adults. If I need to referee it then I will but dude just have a conversation. One of you start, put your points across then swap over. Don't argue over opinions or points of view. Just accept what's coming and work through it."

His eyes shifted downward and he nodded slowly in agreement to what I was saying.

"…Then go home and have some makeup buttsecks…"

"DUDE!"

We both doubled over in laughter.

X X X

Every word – he'd heard every word! Bastard! But then you just heard every word too, didn't you Kenny?

Kenny didn't leave right away. He took a few minutes to collect himself out in the corridor. As he was about to walk towards the stairs leading down he heard voices. Against his better judgement he pressed his ear to the door and heard Stan and Kyle's conversation. He took in every detail and without seeing them both, read exactly what they were hinting at and getting to. Without saying anything he'd admitted his continued love for Kyle. And based on what he just heard, Kyle had done the same about Kenny.

They still loved each other. At the very least that meant there was hope to build a friendship back up. Secretly Kenny wanted it to progress further. He wanted things to back the way they were before graduation. He wanted his Kyle back.

He'd have to wait and see. And with a smile on his face, he turned and started down the staircase leading to the building exit.


	24. What Tomorrow Brings

**Well folks, here it is. The final installment!**

**Firstly, big thank you to everyone who took the time to read the story. I hope you all had fun. If you made it this far then you're awesome for getting all the way through. To my reviewers, it's brought a great smile to my face hearing what you had to say. **

**Without further ado...**

**Kenny's POV**

* * *

It's just a really weird feeling for me, waking up and feeling like today is going to be a good day. That's the feeling that's been in the house for a few days now. It's come and go over the last few years, and was there all the time the first year in Denver. The thing is though, I'm actually quite confused, and I don't know whether this is a good thing or not. I don't know whether I want this to last, or be around at all. Mainly because there's a lot of hurt that seems to follow this. There's nothing more I want than for everything to go back to being great, but I don't want to hurt anymore.

I jump in the shower and quickly wash before pulling on a loose pair of pants and heading downstairs to grab some food. I offer Karen a good morning who's sitting on the couch watching some kind of sitcom and head into the Kitchen where mom is washing up some dishes. I grab a towel and start drying for her as we start up a conversation.

Mainly about Kyle.

Yeah, she heard from Karen who heard from Ike that Kyle was back and that we were talking again.

"So what're you gonna do Ken?"

"I honestly don't know mom. I mean, I want to be friends again for sure, but he's really killed my trust. I know it's not all him, and I know I've caused him a world of hurt too; I don't know if either of us can cope with the pain again. I just don't know at the moment."

"Well you know my opinion of both of you has never changed. I don't know the details, nor do I want to – but you've grown up so much since then and no doubt he has too. Maybe this time will be different. You won't know unless you try."

I nod at her words and stack some dishes in the cupboard.

"Anyway, how's work going?"

"Yeah good at the moment. I mean, most of it is just moving gear over, but once the main pcs are set up I can get in and set them up and then we should be good to go. I just hope it goes well, this could be a great step up for me and it'll sort us out for a long time."

"Sort you out Ken. I don't want to rely on you for the rest of my life, and you need to go and live your life too. I don't want you to feel tied to here because of money."

"Mom, you've raised us, provided for us, put up with dad's shit for so long. You've had a hard time too. If I can help you then I will, and I won't take no for an answer!"

"You really are too good Kenny, you know that don't you?"

She leans over and kisses me on the cheek, and I slide some bread in the toaster as Karen wanders in.

"You want some too Karen?"

She hums and nods my way so I push another couple of slices in. I notice that she's thumbing through a catalogue of some sort so I slowly walk over and lean on the back of the kitchen chair she's fallen into. Skimming over the items she's looking at I lean over to the side where my wallet is and grab the bank card out, laying it on the table in front of her.

"It's your birthday next week Karen and you know me and presents for girls… you got a $250 limit ok?"

I kiss her softly on the top of her head and she turns to give me a quick hug

"Thanks Ken, you're the best!"

I finish up in the kitchen and plate up the toast to take it to my room so I can finish getting ready. I take a quick glance at the clock. 10:45, an hour and 15 till crunch time… I'd best prepare.

12:10 – it's not like him to be late. God I need to stop worrying so much, he'll come; he said he would. I light another cigarette and take a long pull, savouring the taste before slowly blowing it skyward.

"It'll kill you some day you know."

A smile creeps over my face, but I don't turn straight away. I need to wipe that off before he sees.

"And I'm gonna enjoy the ride until it does."

I stay looking forward. I don't know why – I actually wanted to turn and see him, but for some reason I couldn't physically do it. He didn't take long though before he walked round to the front of the bench and take a seat next to me. He took the cigarette from me and took a drag himself.

"I hope you're still a now and then smoker!"

"That I am. However it's more now than then recently. The last year has been fairly testing to say the least, and I've done a lot of thinking, a lot of regretting and a lot of reflecting."

"Yeah that sounds like my year to be fair. Although things have been moving on to keep me fairly busy so I can't complain too much."

We took a quick silence, and I could tell he was looking at me now. I went back to an old trick of mine, scratching the left side of my head so I could tilt it right and catch a glance of him in my peripheral vision. It works and he looks away so I cast my eyes his way. God he looks like he's grown up so much. Even in the short time we've not seen each other (short compared to our entire lives) I could tell the difference. There was still an air about him that at the most basic level was still Kyle, and I'm glad I could tell that too.

"So, how's the PhD going anyway?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure looking back that I was really cut out for it. Most of what I've been doing I can't seem to actually relate to a work environment, or to most of my degree. But I'll be thankful I've got it no doubt. I've been looking at careers with and without it and it seems to make a big difference so that part's good."

"That's good then. I honestly don't know how anyone can do it. I mean you were always the smartest but damn! I don't think I'd have coped well in college, let alone whatever the hell you've done."

"Ah come on Ken, we know that's bullshit! You wiped the floor with me senior year, without even trying! And the work you do would probably fry my brain."

"Well, yeah I guess that's true"

I put it as tongue-in-cheek as I could, even feigning greatness by checking my nails and blowing across them like the proper stuck up people do and we both let a chuckle out.

"How's the move going anyway? Stan said something about you setting up a centre near here?"

"Yeah we've got a new site with enough size for a datacentre twice the size of our current one. It's a hell of a lot of ground work and it'll take at least a year, but it's meant a promotion, a team that I now manage and a whole network to build from scratch. It's actually exactly what I was looking for, and as long as it doesn't fall on its ass I could well get to manage the centre permanently."

"That's fantastic Kenny! What a great opportunity. And yet you're not smart? I see you're still bullshitting as normal"

I poke my tongue out in his direction and he counters by giving me a gentle shove. I was so in love with this moment. This right here is what I'd been hoping for for so long. Kyle took a quick break to head to the nearby coffee kiosk and left me with my thoughts. There was no getting round this, there's a reason why we were both here and we both knew it. We'd also both been avoiding it since we got here but the time has come and it was now or never. It was time to get things out in the open.

Kyle came back and we both sat in silence while we took a few swigs of our drinks. I didn't know who should take the lead, but I glanced at Kyle and he was glancing down, rolling his hands around his cup. I guess it'll probably be me then.

"So…"

His gaze didn't move from his cup

"Kyle…?"

He turned his head slightly away from me. He doesn't want to dig this up any more than I do. But we have to move on from this and to do that we have to talk about it.

"Kyle, we're going to have to talk about it sooner or later. And I'm gonna be honest I don't want to. But I want you back in my life, like we were when we were kids. To do that we have to get things out. I think anyway. I don't want to argue or row with you, and I don't want either of us to hurt over it. Shall we get this over with?"

Kyle didn't react. He didn't move, or sigh. He didn't acknowledge what I just said. This wasn't going to plan, I think he's gonna bail…

"Kyle…?"

He slowly turned to me. His eyes… they're red. Puffy. Kyle was crying, softly. No… no Kyle don't cry please! I don't want to make you cry!

I reach forward and pull him into a hug, and he starts crying slightly harder into my shoulder. He best fucking stop or he's gonna set me off soon.

"Kenny… I'm so sorry…"

He breaths quickly between small sobs, and his words sting the back of my eyes.

"I'm sorry too Kyle. I'm sorry for everything and anything I've ever done to hurt you…"

"I never meant to hurt you Kenny, I really didn't. I was selfish and stubborn and I didn't stop to think about you."

"Kyle I did the same. I only thought about what I wanted, and didn't think about the benefits for you. I didn't want things to change, and because of that I fucked it all up…"

"No, I fucked up"

"No, I did!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Yuh-hu!"

"…um… what the fuck did we just say to each other?"

We looked at each other, and laughed at our childishness as he rested his forehead on mine. In my mind though, that's exactly what I wanted. It took me back to 3rd grade. That's how we dealt with our problems. We didn't have to worry too much because it'll all blow over in a week.

"Look, why don't we grab a bite to eat? My treat?"

"I can't let you do that Ken, I should be treating you!"

"Don't start again…"

"Ok, ok fine! How about this, you pay for me and I'll pay for you?"

"Kyle, really? What's the point in… oh actually yeah that's cool – That new steak and grill has a new $50 smoked steak in that I've wanted to try…"

"Fuck off, 5 dollar limit ok?"

We carried on like this all the way to the pizza takeout we both decided on. We both ordered the same thing so decided to just pay for our own. Even if it was friendly, I really didn't want a back and forth over who was paying.

"Ken, I had no idea what to do when I was offered that PhD you know. I'd never even thought about it until I was offered it, and I didn't actually stop to think about anything else. Not just you, but my family and other friends. I just saw another opportunity to avoid getting a job and I took it. I think in a way, I went for the PhD to delay being an adult for another year or so."

"That makes sense. Sounds like something you'd do too. Always thinking, never feeling…"

"Hey! That's not entirely fair. It broke my heart to leave you, and it hurt even worse knowing how we left things. You didn't help the matter at all!"

"No that's not really what I meant Kyle. I more meant it that if there's something that you can think about and work out logically then that'll overwrite most other things going on. I don't mean you didn't care or anything, because I believe in your way you did."

Kyle took a bite so that he could avoid saying anything else in too much haste and I took a sip of Pepsi before continuing. I'd thought about this conversation a lot and had a fair few responses pre-thought out.

"Look, like I said I was selfish. I didn't want you to leave, I wanted to be with you. I looked at it as you just up and leaving and not caring about me, but just caring about your academics. But I felt I had good reason too. Cartman fucked off, then Stan and Bebe did, then you were about to. I just felt like everyone grew tired of me and were finding ways to jump ship. It was like being back in high school. I was left with no one again."

"That's the part I didn't think about Ken. I didn't stop to think what you might lose…"

"The point is though, looking back there was nothing wrong with the situation. It was wrong of me to not want you to follow your own path. Sure I'd have still been upset about it, but if you had just talked to me about it instead of jumping in head first then maybe things might have been different. Maybe if I had brought it up when you told me about it then things might have been different. I think we both fucked up royally, and we were both either too proud or too stupid to put it right sooner."

"Yeah I guess that's a fair comment."

"We were just both being kids. I don't think we're kids anymore. And I don't want to deal with things in that way anymore."

"I don't think we're going to need to. As we're getting things out in the open… I heard what you said last night, to Stan I mean…"

"Oh…"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to. But I don't think you'd have said that if you thought I was awake."

"You know what… it's ok."

"Really?"

"Yeah, because I kinda… well… I was still outside when you started talking to Stan and I sorta… had my ear to the door…"

We paused, both looking at each other very sheepishly for a few moments before both cracking up once more.

"So much for being adults about it!"

"Yeah I know…"

We finished up and left the café before heading to the mall exit and to our respective cars. As I approached my door Kyle approached the passenger side and stood looking at me over the car roof.

"Listen, Kenny… I don't know exactly what I'm thinking or feeling at the moment. I don't want to rush in and go full throttle with everything because I think that'll do more harm than good, so that's gonna take time. But I'd love to see you again – as friends you know? Like old times. I want you to still be a part of my life and I hope you feel the same. What do you think?"

"Kyle, I couldn't agree more with everything you've just said. I think I need a good friend again and I'd love it to be you. We'll see what happens and where things go, but for the first time in a long time, I'm looking forward to the future. I hope that future includes you in some way."

We both smile warmly before turning into two bashful 8th grade girls and looking down at the floor. Kyle takes the lead this time and starts to move away from the car and off towards his own.

"I'll see you around soon then yeah?"

"Yeah dude, I'll shoot you a text."

Speaking of which at that point I felt my phone vibrate and I reached down to see what it was before finishing up with Kyle.

**Stan M: My house tomorrow dude. Have a chill, watch a film and move forward?**

Good old Stan, I'm glad he's here now too, it's another avenue and at least somewhere else I can turn. I look up towards Kyle and notice… he's eyeing his phone too. Could he have got… is Stan up to his old tricks again?

Kyle catches my gaze and starts to chuckle.

"Stan?"

"Stan…"

Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah dude… See you tomorrow."

And with that, Kyle left. I slid into the driver's seat and started the engine. As I looked in my rear view mirror I watched as Kyle walked up to his car, got in and pulled away. And as I watched, I started to cry. This time though the tears were in happiness.

I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. And every day from now on I'm going to try and think the same. I'm going to live each day and wait and see what tomorrow brings.

The future suddenly seems a lot brighter…

* * *

**So that's it. Thanks again to all those that stuck through to the end. I had a great time writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it! **


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